Category: Kids & Parenting

Mostly I Blame Myself

Published by dee on April 17, 2007

Just when I think I’ve got this parenting stuff down, Zach goes and mixes it all up again. We’ve been having some struggles over the last few days and he’s quickly wearing me down. I flip back and forth between trying to be the tough parent who doesn’t give in and trying to be the understanding parent that knows he is just searching for comfort.

Saturday night was one of my not-so-wonderful parenting moments. We went out to dinner with my family for my brother-in-law’s birthday. The restaurant was crowded and Zach was more than just a little bit fussy. He settled down long enough to eat some waffle fries that came with our appetizer, but then he got fussy again. He refused to sit in his high chair and was only satisfied to be in my lap. I gave in and let him sit with me until our food came. When the food arrived I figured he would sit back in the high chair while we ate, but I was seriously mistaken. I let him stay on my lap to avoid a tantrum, but it backfired on me. Instead of him calming down, it escalated.

Instead of letting him continue, I chose to remove him from the situation. I picked him up and took him outside where we walked for a few minutes. Then I sat down with my almost 22-month-old son and attempted to have a reasonable conversation with him. I’m not sure why I thought it would work, but I tried to be firm and tell him that we were going to go back in the restaurant and sit down so that we could eat. He was happy and smiling so I figured I would give it a shot.

The minute we walked back into the restaurant he started up again. I tried to get him to cooperate and sit in his high chair so that I could at least eat my meal which only resulted in louder screams and a stiffening little toddler body. I finally gave up, told Hubby to box up my untouched meal, grabbed my stuff and took Zach to the car to wait while the rest of the family ate their dinner.

I was so frustrated with Zach that I strapped him in his car seat, sat down in the driver’s seat, turned some music on, and tried to ignore the pitiful little cries of "Mom, Mom, Mom" coming from his mouth. I was fuming and knew that we both needed some time to calm down a bit before I could turn around.

By the time Hubby and the rest of the family finished their dinner, we had both settled down a bit. Zach was extremely thrilled to see Daddy and Grandma walking to the car. I think he was afraid he would have to spend the rest of the night sitting in the car with his mean mama. We went back over to my sister’s house after that and he was fine, except when I refused to give him any cake. I spent the rest of the night playing with him and trying to make up for being so mean earlier.

The last couple of days have been better except for the fact that he’s been really clingy and he doesn’t want to sleep. Bedtime has become really difficult and he’s been waking up screaming a lot at night. He ends up coming to bed with me so that I can get some sleep and we both wake up tired the next morning. It makes me wonder how I ever dealt with the nightly feedings and diaper changes when he was an infant. Somehow I had more energy then than I do now.

I find myself searching and searching for answers every time a situation like this comes up even though I know there is no likely explanation. I blame it on the molars trying to break through his tender gums. I blame it on his age and his new streak of independence. I blame it on myself for not spending enough time with him. I know that when I make a point to spend quality one-on-one time with him his mood drastically improves. I wonder if he has nightmares or if there is something in his room that is scaring him when he wakes up screaming at night. I wonder if I’ll ever know what makes him break down without a moment’s notice. I wonder what I’m doing wrong and what I can do to make it better. I wonder if this whole parenting gig will ever get any easier.

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Easter and Stuff

Published by dee on April 9, 2007

Once upon a time I had a blog where I actually wrote stuff on a regular basis. Then life kind of got in the way and I didn’t have time to update it as much as I would have liked to. When I did finally get back to writing, I had about a bazillion things to write about and created a very long blog post with lots of pictures. Do you want to see it? I thought you would.

Last Wednesday, Hubby and I actually got to go out like real adults. There was no wining and dining, but there was plenty of junk food, booze, freezing temperatures and Red Sox baseball. It was pretty much a perfect evening if I block out the part where I was completely freezing my ass off. The jalapeños and margaritas kept me warm on the inside, but I was pretty jealous of all the people sitting around me with blankets covering them (and wondering why I didn’t think to bring one for myself). It was nice to get to hang out with Hubby without my extra appendage (also known as Zach) around. We got to have some real conversations that didn’t revolve around a screaming toddler, although we did complain about the drunk college kids in front of us that acted about as mature as the toddler. All in all it was a pretty great evening and the Red Sox winning was just icing on the cake.

After dragging through the day Thursday, I picked Zach up from day care and discovered he had a bit of a runny nose. I blamed it on allergies, but by Friday morning that runny nose had turned into a full-on head cold. By Friday afternoon he was running a fever and I was starting to get a litte worried knowing that we had a very full weekend ahead. With some Tylenol for the fever and some Benadryl to slow down the snot trail, he seemed to be feeling a little bit better.

Friday night we loaded up the car, dogs and all, and headed up to my sister’s house. We unloaded, got the dogs settled in and then headed to church for the Good Friday service. Afterwards we had dinner with my dad and his wife. I realized as we were driving back to my sister’s house that we had managed to lose Zach’s sippy cup along the way. Normally I wouldn’t have been too concerned, but it was a brand new cup that I had just spent $5 on a couple weeks ago. I called and had my dad stop back by the church to make sure we hadn’t left it there but he didn’t find it. My brother-in-law even called the restaurant to see if we might have left it there but no one had seen it. It apparently vanished into thin air.

Saturday morning, after listening to Zach struggle to breathe all night, we got up and headed back to church for the children’s Easter egg hunt. It was really cold that morning so the hunt ended up being indoors. Zach had a great time hunting eggs and doing some crafts. Of course he enjoyed eating candy and cookies even more. He ended up with way more candy than he could ever eat so he agreed to "donate" a big bag to my office’s candy basket.

After the Easter egg hunt, we took the kids to a certain fast food restaurant where they have a playground and are currently giving away SpongeBob toys in their kids’ meals. We had planned an afternoon at the park but it was just entirely too cold for that. Instead of eating, the two little boys decided to revolt so we finally gave in and let them just go play, which is exactly what they wanted. They weren’t exactly thrilled when we told them it was time to go home and take a nap.

It took some work, but my sister finally got the little boys down for naps while my brother-in-law took my older nephew and a friend to a movie. When they got back and the little boys woke up from their naps, it was time to color Easter eggs. I think Zach actually got more dye on his hands than on the eggs, but he had a really good time doing it.

We stuck around long enough for dinner and a movie, and then it was time to get home. Zach decided at around 1:30 in the morning that he wanted to get up and play. He spent about half an hour screaming before Daddy tried to intervene, played for about 5 minutes, and then ended up asleep in our bed a few minutes later. Needless to say, when my alarm went off Sunday morning it was not welcomed.

We managed to get up, dressed, and out the door for church only about 15 minutes late. Church was full (as expected) and Zach was actually fairly well behaved considering the amount of sleep he got the night before. The real fun, however, began after church. Apparently while we were at church the Easter bunny visited Grandpa’s house. When we arrived for our Easter dinner, there were baskets full of goodies for all three boys and more eggs to hunt. By the time we got around to eating, Zach was so tired that he actually asked for "night night" instead of eating dinner.

While Zach was napping, I managed to fall asleep and get a little nap in as well. It was quite nice except that I woke up with a bit of a sore neck. Zach woke up from his nap extremely cranky so we got our stuff together and headed home. While he was screaming, I decided to take a chance and poke around in his mouth. I discovered that he has another molar trying to break through the gums, which might explain much of his crankiness over the last week or
so. I didn’t see any signs of the other three pushing up yet, so I’m guessing we’re going to have lots of cranky in the near future.

I have to say that I’m almost glad to have the weekend done. It was certainly a busy one and now I just need a few days to sit back and relax. I’m really hoping to take it easy the next two weekends because in only 15 short days I will have a brand new little nephew that will need lots of visiting and snuggling. Can you tell I’m a little excited about that?

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My Favorite Kind of Saturday Morning

Published by dee on March 31, 2007

I took some Benadryl last night before I went to bed. My allergies have been pretty bad lately, but I could have taken Claritin. Instead, I chose the Benadryl because I knew it would guarantee a good night’s sleep. I can’t remember the last time I woke up actually feeling rested. I suppose it comes with the territory of parenting but I desperately needed to find that special place where you sleep so deeply that you wake up not feeling tired. I usually have a really hard time getting there. Fortunately, that little pink pill helps me when I really need it.

Around 7:30 a.m. I heard the first peeps on the baby monitor. I knew Zach was awake, but I also knew that he would wait for me to come get him up. Even though he can crawl out of his recently converted toddler bed, he waits. He knows when I open the door that it is time to get up.

I stayed in bed with my eyes closed in that foggy just waking up kind of haze. I dozed off and on, listening to Zach talk to himself in his bed. I can’t help but smile when I hear his chatter. I knew that I would have to go get him up soon as it had been almost an hour since he first woke.

Hubby got up and opened the bedroom doors. We waited to see if Zach would get up and come in our bedroom, but instead he shouted from his bed, “Mom! Mom!” I seems I have him well trained. Once he heard my voice assuring him it was ok to get up, he came running out of his room and headed straight for the living room. With some vocal coaxing we finally got him to come to the bedroom, where he promptly walked to my side of the bed, grabbed my hand, and started pulling. Time to get up!

I was a little grumpy at first, still needing some time to fully awaken before I was ready to begin the day but Zach was fine with snuggling on the couch for a bit. Eventually he got tired of sitting still so we got some toys out and played. I love watching how differently he plays with some of his toys now.

He picked up the remote control that was laying on the floor and started pushing buttons. He somehow managed to turn on the dvd player and select his Laurie Berkner dvd out of the five loaded into the disc changer. The look on his face when he heard the music start rushing through the speakers was priceless. We immediately started up an impromptu dance party in the middle of the living room.

(he pauses for a little bit in the middle but gets going again)

There is just something special about Saturday mornings. It is the one day of the week where we don’t have to get up and go somewhere. We lounge around in our jammies and play all morning. We dance, sing, play, and do whatever we feel like doing. Zach may not remember our Saturday mornings when he gets older, but I will always remember.

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Trying to get rid of the blogger's block

Published by dee on March 30, 2007

This week feels like it has been so crazy, yet I can’t think of anything that has been particularly abnormal. I suppose it has to do with the fact that I didn’t have much time over the weekend to get things done the way I normally do. And maybe something to do with the fact that Hubby has been working later. I don’t know. I just feel like I have so much to do and not enough time to do it. Ha. What else is new?

Zach’s day care provider is out of town for the next few days, so Zach is going to be hanging out with her husband. I was griping about having to find someone to watch him while she was gone and her husband graciously volunteered to watch Zach for me so that I didn’t have to find alternate child care. How cool is that? It saved me the time and extra money of having to find someone else and Zach gets to be in a place that is familiar to him. I don’t anticipate any problems because Zach loves him, but I am anxious to see how their first day goes.

I keep thinking that I need to make friends with a couple of stay at home moms that would be willing to watch Zach for me every once in a while. I never have bothered to find a back up day care so when his provider needs a day off I always get all panicky trying to find someone. My sister has been able to help me out a couple times, but I generally just end up bringing him to work with me which isn’t the ideal situation. I lucked out this time because the day care provider’s hubby was taking off work to watch his own kids, but I don’t have a plan in place for the next time.

I’m very much looking forward to the weekend. I have about a million projects I want to work on but I also just want to spend some time relaxing. I still have pictures sitting on my camera from last weekend that I haven’t had a chance to upload to my computer yet and it is driving me nuts. I have this very intense desire to get them on Flickr so I can share the cuteness with you all. I also want to get ahead on a few other things so next week won’t feel so rushed. Then, when the rest of that is done, I want to veg out a little, maybe watch some movies, and hang out with the Hubby and little monster as much as possible. I have a feeling I’ll still feel exhausted when Monday comes around.

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The Crazy Chip

Published by dee on March 23, 2007

I have come to the conclusion that the tubes inserted into the boy’s ears must have a crazy chip in them. I can think of no other explanation for his recent actions.

First there was this:

I bought this for the cats thinking they might have fun with it, but I had no idea that Zach had other intentions. He was wiggling and squirming like he had been possessed, but at least it entertained him for a while.

Then, there was this:

He was shrieking and dancing and exhibiting all sorts of crazy (with his shoes on the wrong feet because he insisted they be that way). Maybe he thought the bugs on his shirt were alive?

Followed shortly by this:

I’m not sure if they were howling at the moon or planning their escape, but they were definitely in cahoots about something.

This all occurred in a matter of hours. It is a good thing the in-laws will be here this weekend so I can pawn some of the crazy off on them.

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It's Never As Bad As You Imagine

Published by dee on March 21, 2007

Today was the big surgery day. Zach did really well and I did pretty okay myself. I didn’t get nearly as upset as I thought I would, but I actually give Zach the credit for that one. He didn’t even cry, except for just a couple of tears when they took him away from me for the surgery. He is seriously the toughest little kid I have ever known. Nothing seems to phase him.

I wasn’t timing it, but I would guess that in less than ten minutes after they took him away the doctor came out to tell us he was all finished. He did tell us that Zach does have yet another ear infection, but with the tubes and some antibiotic ear drops (that he needed anyway with the surgery) it should clear right up.

Another ten minutes or so later, we were back in the recovery room with him. He was still a bit droopy, but was happy to see his mama and dada walk through the big doors. I will admit that my eyes welled up just slightly as we walked through the recovery room doors, but I didn’t cry. (So what if my 21-month-old son is tougher than me!)

Grandma met us in the waiting room with a Diego beanie baby and Dora balloon which Zach just absolutely loved. All in all, the whole process took less than two hours from start to finish. Not bad at all.

After the hospital, we took a detour to Ihop for some breakfast since none of us had eaten anything. It took Zach a little while to completely wake up, but by the time the rest of us had eaten, he was awake and scarfing down his smiley face chocolate chip pancake.

When we got home, I assumed he would be all snugly and groggy for a while. I assumed wrong. He did cuddle up on the couch with me for a while, but about the time I started falling asleep, he decided to get hyper. He was running all over the place. He has finally settled down for a nap and I’m thinking maybe I need to do the same.

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