Category: Kids & Parenting

27 Months

Published by dee on September 25, 2007

Dear Zachary,

It has been a while since I’ve written you one of these update letters. The last one was when you turned two. It is amazing how much you have changed in three short months. Somewhere in there you changed from a whiny, needy, toddler into a very determined little boy who wants to do everything on his own…except when it comes to walking. Apparently you still need me to carry you everywhere we go. As much as I complain about how heavy you are, sometimes I don’t mind that you still want me to carry you because I know that one day soon you will be off and running and will no longer need the comfort of my arms.

It seems like every day you lose a little bit more of your baby tendencies and gain a little bit more independence. You like to open the refrigerator to get your own snacks out. You like to serve yourself and try to cut your own food up at meal times. You even say a prayer all by yourself before you eat (and with just a little help at bed time). You like to brush your teeth by yourself (even when mommy really wants to help). You like to open and close the doors for mommy when we go out. You really like to put your own bubbles in the tub when it is bath time. I try to be patient with you, but sometimes I get a little frustrated when I’m in a hurry and you want to do everything yourself. I’m so proud of you when you accomplish a new task, but sometimes I wish you could realize that mommy really can do it faster.

Your personality shines through more and more all the time. You have a really great sense of humor and try to express it more and more all the time. You have started telling “knock, knock” jokes and even though you rarely add on a punch line at the end, you laugh so hard that it makes everyone around you laugh as well. You think burps are hilarious and always try to imitate it when you hear someone else burp just to get a laugh. You make other little jokes here and there, just waiting for someone to catch on to what you have said. One of my favorite things to do with you is to laugh. The smile on your face and that little glimmer you get in your eyes can light up even the darkest of rooms.

These days I constantly want to compare you to a sponge as it seems you just soak everything up. Since you started at your new day care (“school”) at the end of July, you have been learning so much. You surprised me just last week by counting all the way from 1-20 while I was pushing you on the swing at the park. I didn’t even know you could count to 10, much less 20. You know most of your colors and can pick them out in pictures when we’re reading books together. You can even pick out a few letters when we read your Elmo ABC’s book. You’ve been singing your ABC’s for quite a while now, but I didn’t realize you could pick the letters out by sight. Besides ABC’s, you’ve picked up several new songs that you love to sing. The first time I was surprised when you started singing Row, Row, Row Your Boat in the bath tub. Now you go around singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, B-I-N-G-O, ABC’s and other various songs all the time. You still skip over some of the harder words, but you are so cute when you’re singing I’ll let that slide for now.

Things haven’t been all rainbows and sunshine over the last few months though. You’ve regressed in several areas that I’m not real happy about. I’m pretty sure that it is because you are learning so many new things at once, but it still gets frustrating. The main problem areas right now are sleeping, potty training, and that dang pacifier. It all started around the end of July, when we went on vacation. I can’t blame it all on the vacation though, because you started at your new day care about a week after we got back so I’m sure that has had a lot to do with it too. Since that time, I’ve barely been able to pry your pacifier or “noonie” out of your mouth. I’m so sick of seeing that thing I could scream, but I’m trying to come up with the least traumatic way to get rid of it. The sleeping is starting to get back on track, but we still struggle some nights at bed time. As for the potty training, well, let’s just say momma quit pushing so hard. You still go potty at school when your teacher takes you, but I have a really hard time getting you to go at home. Some days you fight and scream so bad that I wonder if it is really worth the effort. I’m hoping that if I back off a bit, you’ll decide you want to start doing it on your own. Meanwhile, your Elmo and Diego big boy underwear sit unworn in your dresser drawer.

While all of this has been happening, Daddy and I have also been trying to get you ready for a very big change that is headed your way. In about 6 months, you will become a big brother. I know it is going to be hard for you to get used to having a baby in the house, especially when you are used to having all of our attention on you. We’re all really excited to meet your baby brother or sister in March, but I have to admit that I’m also a little sad that I won’t be able to spend as much time doing the things I love to do with you. I’ve been really trying lately to spend more quality time with you in the evenings and hopefully will be able to continue doing that even after the baby arrives. I don’t want you to ever feel like you have been replaced or that we love you any less. If anything you will be loved even more, because your new sibling will love you just as much as (if not more than) your daddy and I do.

Some days when I sit back and watch you I am just filled with so much love I feel like I could burst. I want to share every little thing you do with the world because I am so proud of you and the boy you are becoming. I cherish our conversations, no matter how silly they may seem at the time. I wish I could record every moment so that when you are all grown up I could go back and re-live it over and over again. You are everything I ever wished for in a child and more. I’m not sure it is even possible, but I think I love you more and more each day.

Love,
Mommy

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Reward System For Toddlers – Yes or No?

Published by dee on September 17, 2007

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about reward systems. At first, I was simply trying to devise a simple reward system for potty-training. I picked up several items from the $1 aisle at Target that I thought Zach would enjoy. I set out to establish some simple goals for him that could gradually expand as he reached each goal. But then I got stuck (or maybe lazy) and never got around to making up a chart for him to use.

Shortly after that, my boy who was doing so well with the potty training started regressing. At first it was just a little resistance, then it turned into an all out fight to get him to even sit on the potty. However, the resistance seems to only be at home as he does fine at day care and has done fine at my sister’s house when she has him. For now, I’m letting off of the potty training a bit because I don’t want to force it and make it a negative thing for him.

Besides the potty-training, Zach has also regressed in other areas and they all pretty much have to do with personal care. It is an absolute fight most days to brush his teeth, get him dressed, etc. unless I bribe him with getting to watch Blue’s Clues when we’re done. If I had all the time in the world, it wouldn’t matter. I could let him do things at his own pace, but most days we’re on a pretty tight schedule and I don’t have ten minutes to convince him to let me brush his teeth.

Now I realize that he is two. He’s trying to establish his own routines and exert his own opinions. The problem is, he’s two. He doesn’t understand why he needs to brush his teeth no matter how many times I explain it to him, nor does he understand why he should do anything else that I tell him to do. I don’t think my requests are unreasonable. Most of the things that I want him to do he has been doing for a long time, he just no longer wants to do them.

I’m tired of threatening time-outs or other punishments just to get him to cooperate. Basic positive reinforcement doesn’t seem to phase him. I don’t want to bribe him with TV time because he gets more than enough of that as it is.

That’s where the reward system comes in. I need to find some way to encourage him to follow directions and to do the simple daily tasks that he already knows how to do. I’m just not sure whether to narrow it down to specific tasks or whether to make it more general. I’ve consulted Dr. Google and have a few ideas that may or may not work with him. I’ve seen a reward system work well for my 7-year-old nephew. But, I’m just wondering how effective it might be for a 2-year-old.

If anyone out there has any advice or has tried reward systems with your own kids, please share your experiences. I’m all ears.

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I Should Have Known Something Was Up

Published by dee on September 14, 2007

Since Zach started at his new day care, I’ve tried to make drop-offs in the morning as quick and painless as possible. It has gotten easier and easier as time goes on and he adjusts to the new routine. He’s even to the point now where most mornings he gives me a hug and kiss and then turns and waves goodbye as I walk out the door. I’ve been feeling really good about this because it makes me think that he is actually enjoying his time there (which is what every parent wants, right?).

This morning Zach was a little extra clingy when I dropped him off, so instead of dashing off I stayed a couple of extra minutes to give him some hugs and help him get settled in. While I worked on peeling him off of my chest, his teacher mentioned that Zach hasn’t been napping all week. Uh, what was that? Yeah, no naps all week. Then she continued to tell me how he just has so much energy when he’s there and can’t seem to settle down at nap time. She reassured me that this was only a recent development and that he has slept in the past, just not this week. I was a little shocked, to say the least, since this is the same kid who will often sleep for three or more hours in the afternoon when we’re at home. I usually have to wake him up from his naps on the weekends or he would sleep through dinner.

Really though, when I give it some thought, I should have known something was up. All week long, he’s been really mellow in the evenings. He hasn’t wanted to do much but sit on the couch and watch Blue’s Clues. That’s not too surprising though, since he no longer gets to watch TV at day care. What is surprising, is that for the last week and a half or so he’s actually been going to bed when I tell him to (and staying there!). After almost two months of nightly fights at bed time, that has been quite a relief for me. Now I tell him it is bed time, he says, “OK”, and off we go. It has almost been too easy. Now I know why.

For a moment I felt a little panicky. I’m not ready for a 2-year-old that refuses to nap. I need nap time. Granted I only have him on the weekends during nap time, but those 2-3 hours in the afternoon are usually a much needed break from the chaotic day. So I started searching for answers. What in the heck has changed this week that would make it different from last week or the week before? Suddenly it dawned on me. He has been taking Claritin for his allergies for about the last month. This week? I decided to cut it out and see how he did. Since he hasn’t been showing any of his usual allergy symptoms this week, he hasn’t had a single dose of the Claritin. I’m guessing that’s exactly where the change in sleep patterns started. Now, I guess I just have to wait and hope that his little body adjusts back to normal…as long as he keeps going to bed on time at night.

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How I'm Feeling

Published by dee on September 11, 2007

One of the questions that you always seem to get during early pregnancy is “How are you feeling?” I probably answer that question ten times a day right now and my answer is usually always the same. “Not too great, but it is getting better.” I can’t wait for the day when I can just say “good,” and move on. Good certainly doesn’t sum it all up today. I’m stuck in that hormonal roller coaster of emotions and here’s here’s how I’m really feeling today:

Sad – Because I feel like I’ve lost all motivation to keep up with my blog. It isn’t that I don’t want to write, it is more that I don’t think anything I have to say is interesting right now. Who really wants to read about how tired I am every day? Also, sad because I don’t have the time or energy to fix my blog up all pretty like I want to.

Hungry – All the dang time! When I want to eat, I rarely can, and when I can, I don’t want to. I’m so ready to get past the first trimester and actually enjoy food again. At least I’m not gaining weight.

Tired – Again, all the time. I think I could fall asleep anywhere at any time. It doesn’t help that I can’t seem to sleep at night and wake up over and over again.

Relieved – Because I read some of my old archives today from when I was pregnant with Zach. Apparently I felt just as tired and worn down
at 12 weeks as I am feeling now at 11 weeks. I wasn’t sleeping then either (which I didn’t remember). I should have read ahead a little more to make sure that it gets better.

Ecstatic – Because we got to hear the baby’s perfect little heartbeat on Friday and I keep hearing that little thump, thump, thump in my head. I can’t wait to meet her/him.

Frustrated – Because I live with a 2-year-old that doesn’t yet understand logic. Also, because said two-year-old couldn’t care less when I try to use positive reinforcement, instead responding only to threats of punishment. He’s forcing me to be the mom I don’t want to be.

Happy – Because I have a new wedding band on my finger. I’ve been without a ring since shortly after our vacation in July when my fingers started swelling and blistered from my wedding ring being too tight. Unfortunately, my beautiful sapphire and diamond band has to take a vacation for a while so I got a plain silver wedding band (in a larger size) to take it’s place while I’m pregnant. (I also managed to get an amazing deal on it which makes it even better!)

Somber – 9/11 Enough said.

Amused – Because out of nowhere, Zach started trying to tell “knock, knock” jokes today. It started this morning, then he really got fired up at dinner tonight. He doesn’t quite have the concept down, but he’s working on it. Here is one of his best attempts:

Zach: Knock, Knock! (yelling cause he was so excited!)
Mom: Who’s there?
Zach: Dylan
Mom: Dylan who?
Zach: Zach (laughing like a maniac)
Zach: I’m FUNNY!!! (laughter erupts all around)

I guess you had to be there to really enjoy it, but I laughed harder than I have all day.

That pretty much sums up my day, except for all the times I got teary and almost cried while thinking about Zach, the new baby, and all of the adorable sibling pictures I’ve seen online lately. Oh, and all the other millions of emotions that flash through me off and on during the day. These pregnancy hormones are so much fun!

And now, it is time for bed. Otherwise I may end up sleeping on my keyboard and that won’t be pretty in the morning.

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Sugar & Spice & Everything Nice

Published by dee on September 5, 2007

My family has all been anxiously waiting for my brother’s wife to have her ultrasound so we could find out whether to start buying little pink dresses or hand over the tubs and tubs of boy clothes that we have accumulated with four boys in the family. It appears that the pink dresses will prevail because they’re having a girl! She’ll be the first girl on my side of the family, so we’re all very excited. I’m even more excited because I’m going to have two little nieces by the end of the year (Hubby’s brother and his wife are also expecting a girl in November, which will be the first girl on Hubby’s side).

I’m even more anxious now to find out what I’m going to have. I have always wanted one boy and one girl. Since I already have my boy, I’m really hoping for a girl this time around. I’m already imagining two little girl cousins tumbling around and playing together during our family get-togethers. They’ll need the strength in numbers if they want to have any chance of competing with the older boys.

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So the morning sickness has let up a bit, but is still lingering. Some days are definitely better than others. It seems to hit me harder during the week when I’m doing a lot of sitting still at my desk at work. If I’m up moving around and keeping busy I don’t notice it as much. I’m guessing that’s why it didn’t bother me so much over the weekend except when I ate pepperoni pizza which was not at all a good thing).

While the morning sickness is letting up a little, the sensitivity and emotions seem to be flooding in. I can’t watch shows like “A Baby Story” without a box of kleenex sitting next to me. Even the commercials get me sometimes. But, when it really hit me was when I was card shopping at Hallmark and saw a picture frame that said “big brother” along the side of it. I barely held back the tears as I imagined Zach’s picture there holding his new little brother or (hopefully!) sister in his arms. I just can’t wait for him to have a sibling and to get to experience a whole different kind of love than he has ever known.

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How Come Everyone Else Makes It Look So Easy?

Published by dee on August 27, 2007

Pregnancy was definitely much easier the first time around. There was no toddler to chase after, no family to try to feed a decent meal to every night, no fighting over bath time or bed time, no toys to trip over and/or pick up, nobody to worry about but myself. What I did have was all the time in the world to sit around reading parenting books and magazines, sleeping, and daydreaming about the little angel that was about to grace my life. It was-dare I say-easy?

When I was pregnant with Zach, I had a little morning sickness, but it didn’t keep me down. I was tired much of the time, but I could rest when I needed to. I was a little more lazy, and hubby became a little more self-sufficient, but all in all our lives didn’t change that much until the baby arrived.

This time around things are much different. By the time I get up, shower, and get dressed in the morning I am already exhausted. Then I still have to get Zach up, dressed, fed, and dropped off at day care. It is actually a bit of a relief to get to work and be able to sit down for a while (in my new office!). It gets a little difficult to stay awake in the afternoons sometimes, but I can usually pep myself up with some music and a little snack. It also helps that the bathroom on my floor is currently closed for remodeling, so I have to go either up or down a flight of stairs every time I have to pee (which is pretty frequent these days) which helps wake me up a bit.

When work is done, I anxiously go pick Zach up, then come home to start the evening routine. Hubby tries to help out, but it just seems that there is always so much to do. By the time Zach gets to bed at night, I have no energy left for anything. Most nights I’m doing good to sit up and watch a little TV before I crash. On a rare occasion, I might fold a load of laundry or check my e-mail. We’ve been eating a few too many frozen pizzas and chicken nuggets, Zach doesn’t always get a bath, and my house is an absolute mess, but we’re getting by.

Things are getting better as I adjust and try to prioritize. It certainly didn’t help that I came down with a stomach virus not once, but twice, in the last couple of weeks. Now that that is over with and I’m back to just normal pregnancy nausea and tiredness (and can finally eat a semi-normal meal again), I’ve been finding a few spurts of energy now and then. I managed to clean the bathroom while Zach played in the bathtub last night, and even managed to fold three loads of laundry after that (of course the 3-hour nap I took that afternoon when I should have been cleaning probably helped out with that extra energy). And? I’m blogging for the first time in over a week, so that’s a good sign, right?

All of the griping and complaining aside though, I am getting really excited for this baby to make its arrival. In the meantime, I’m trying to cherish every moment I have with Zach. This morning as I was getting him ready to head off to school, he suddenly looked up at me and asked, “Where’s baby?” I explained to him that the baby is in mommy’s tummy and it had to stay there until it was big enough to come out. He reached his little hand up, placed it on my tummy, and said, “In there?” When I said, “yes,” he looked up at me with a glimmer in his eye and a huge smile on his face. Suddenly, it didn’t seem like it had been that long since he was “in there.” I think he’s going to be a very proud big brother.

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