How I'm Feeling

One of the questions that you always seem to get during early pregnancy is “How are you feeling?”  I probably answer that question ten times a day right now and my answer is usually always the same.  “Not too great, but it is getting better.”  I can’t wait for the day when I can just say “good,” and move on.  Good certainly doesn’t sum it all up today.  I’m stuck in that hormonal roller coaster of emotions and here’s here’s how I’m really feeling today:

Sad – Because I feel like I’ve lost all motivation to keep up with my blog.  It isn’t that I don’t want to write, it is more that I don’t think anything I have to say is interesting right now.  Who really wants to read about how tired I am every day?  Also, sad because I don’t have the time or energy to fix my blog up all pretty like I want to.

Hungry – All the dang time!  When I want to eat, I rarely can, and when I can, I don’t want to.  I’m so ready to get past the first trimester and actually enjoy food again.  At least I’m not gaining weight.

Tired – Again, all the time.  I think I could fall asleep anywhere at any time.  It doesn’t help that I can’t seem to sleep at night and wake up over and over again.

Relieved – Because I read some of my old archives today from when I was pregnant with Zach.  Apparently I felt just as tired and worn down
 at 12 weeks as I am feeling now at 11 weeks.  I wasn’t sleeping then either (which I didn’t remember).  I should have read ahead a little more to make sure that it gets better.

Ecstatic – Because we got to hear the baby’s perfect little heartbeat on Friday and I keep hearing that little thump, thump, thump in my head.  I can’t wait to meet her/him.

Frustrated –  Because I live with a 2-year-old that doesn’t yet understand logic. Also, because said two-year-old couldn’t care less when I try to use positive reinforcement, instead responding only to threats of punishment.  He’s forcing me to be the mom I don’t want to be.

Happy – Because I have a new wedding band on my finger.  I’ve been without a ring since shortly after our vacation in July when my fingers started swelling and blistered from my wedding ring being too tight.  Unfortunately, my beautiful sapphire and diamond band has to take a vacation for a while so I got a plain silver wedding band (in a larger size) to take it’s place while I’m pregnant.  (I also managed to get an amazing deal on it which makes it even better!)

Somber – 9/11  Enough said.

Amused – Because out of nowhere, Zach started trying to tell “knock, knock” jokes today.  It started this morning, then he really got fired up at dinner tonight.  He doesn’t quite have the concept down, but he’s working on it.  Here is one of his best attempts:

Zach: Knock, Knock! (yelling cause he was so excited!)
Mom: Who’s there?
Zach: Dylan
Mom: Dylan who?
Zach: Zach (laughing like a maniac)
Zach: I’m FUNNY!!! (laughter erupts all around)

I guess you had to be there to really enjoy it, but I laughed harder than I have all day.

That pretty much sums up my day, except for all the times I got teary and almost cried while thinking about Zach, the new baby, and all of the adorable sibling pictures I’ve seen online lately.  Oh, and all the other millions of emotions that flash through me off and on during the day.  These pregnancy hormones are so much fun!

And now, it is time for bed.  Otherwise I may end up sleeping on my keyboard and that won’t be pretty in the morning.