Category: Kids & Parenting

If I Could Just Make The World Stop

Published by dee on May 30, 2008

It has been five weeks now since I’ve been back to work. I knew the first couple of weeks would be hard, but figured once we got into a routine things would ease up a bit. Ha! Shows what I know.

Yes, we have managed to get into a bit of a routine, but things are not easier. I simply cannot keep up. If Hubby manages to get dinner fixed before I get home with the kids I feel like we have a head start on the evening. I usually end up nursing Evie at the dinner table while I scarf down my food just to save some time. Then there is bath time for the kids, a few minutes to play, potty breaks, diaper changes, teeth brushing, story reading, and finally bed time for Zach. If I’m lucky (and Zach stays in bed) I can nurse Evie to sleep so that I have a few minutes to fold a load of laundry, prepare her bottles for the next day, or do one of the other various tasks that is begging to be done.

Then it’s my time. I sit on the love seat, daughter in my arms, flip open my laptop, and catch up on some TV shows with the Hubby. That? Is the most relaxing part of my entire day. I need that time to unwind. I put off the things I need to be doing (paying bills, cleaning house) because I just can’t go any more. I reluctantly go to bed around 11:00 because I know it starts all over again the next day and the alarm will go off way too early (again).

I really don’t know how other people do it. After five weeks I am utterly exhausted. I wonder every morning if I really can make it through another day. My memory is pretty much non-existent. I forget where I’ve put things and sometimes even what I am doing. I nearly fall asleep at my desk every day. I have to write everything down or I’ll forget to do it. Heck, if I wasn’t drinking so much in an effort to keep myself awake all day I would probably forget to pee!

My husband had to remind me last night that our anniversary is next weekend. Um, I never forget important dates. I’ve been planning for Zach’s birthday party at the end of June for over a month now and I know that Father’s day is coming up (although I don’t know the exact date), but our anniversary? Totally slipped my mind. I felt like such a terrible wife in that moment – when he realized that I had actually forgotten – that I tried to think of ways to cover it up but I was just too tired to think that hard.

Something has to give soon. Even my weekends are busy. This weekend we’ve got a graduation party on Saturday and a baptism and lunch to attend on Sunday. In between those I’ll be frantically trying to clean my disastrous house up, sort through a monstrous pile of bills, fill out birthday party invitations, and spend just a little bit of quality time with my kids and Hubby. What I would much rather do, is sleep through the whole weekend.

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The Sound of a Broken Heart

Published by dee on May 23, 2008

Dear Evie,

Yesterday was your 2-month check-up with the doctor. You got weighed and measured (13 lbs, 15 oz. and 24 1/2 inches long) and all that good stuff. The doctor checked you out and told me how perfect you were. Then the nurse came back in to give you all of your immunizations.

One of the immunizations was oral and you didn’t mind it so much. You sucked it right down. Then came the needles. Four of them right in a row. Two in each of your chunky little thighs. Baby girl, you screamed such an awful scream that my heart broke in half. Never could I have imagined such a sound coming from my beautiful girl. I am so very sorry for making you go through that. Oh, and you didn’t let me forget it all night either. You finally crashed out about 12:30 last night, but you cried off and on all evening.

I guess it hit me harder because your brother didn’t train me very well. He was (and is) a tough little guy and barely even whimpered when he had to get shots. I still felt really bad for him because he would get a bit cranky afterwards and his legs would be sore for a couple days, but I never had to hear the scream like you let out.

If it was up to me, I would just sit and hold you for the next few days until you are feeling all better. Unfortunately I can’t do that because I have other things to take care of too. Just know that Mommy told the nurse to give you those shots so that you won’t have to suffer through some terrible illnesses. The last thing in the world I want to do is hurt you in any way. It may be hard to believe, but I truly did it out of love. I hope some day you will be able to forgive me.

Love,
Mama

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Two Months

Published by dee on May 19, 2008

Dear Evie,

When I was a young girl dreaming of my future family I always knew I wanted both a boy and a girl. Just as I hoped, the boy came first. You see I always wished that I had a big brother when I was growing up, so that’s what I wanted for my daughter as well. When I found out you were coming along I hoped and prayed that you would be a girl, the last puzzle piece to complete the family that I always dreamed of. And now here you are – my perfect baby girl – and I couldn’t be happier.

You are two months old already and I still have yet to find the time to write about your birth. Your birth was much easier on me than your brother’s and for that I thank you. I’m sure the details of the day will soon start to fade, but I know I’ll never forget the moment when I first saw your face. You looked so much like Zachary, but softer and curvier, just as a girl should be.

I’m not yet sure whether it is fortunate or unfortunate that you seem to have inherited the same stocky build as the rest of your family. You weighed in at 11 pounds at your one month check-up and now, at two months, you are at least 14 pounds. You have your brother’s wide shoulders (which you’ll appreciate some day) and the most adorable little chubby thighs. I absolutely cannot get enough of those thighs.

I try not to compare you to your brother, but it is so hard when I notice such strong differences. While he was smiling and carrying on at about 5 weeks, you always seem to have such a serious look on your face. It has only been within the last week or so that you have started flashing around that gorgeous toothless grin. I already see a so much of myself in your personality. I’m not sure whether to apologize for that or to take pride in it. You are already so intent and focused on the world around you. You like to watch and just take everything in. Only when you are ready will you interact.

I’ve been trying to make sure that your Daddy gets a chance to hold you every now and then. I miss you so much when I’m at work that it is really hard to put you down when I get home. A few days ago Daddy was holding you and I walked in the room to talk to him. As soon as you heard my voice you turned your head trying to find me. Once you got your eyes locked on me you didn’t look away. When I walked away your eyes followed me across the room and then you promptly started crying. I know Daddy didn’t like that much, but I have to admit it felt pretty good to me.

Sometimes when you are fussy I’ll hold you up in a sitting position on my knees. You are getting so strong that you can nearly hold yourself up. When I talk to you, you coo back at me and look directly into my eyes. I’m amazed at how much of a connection I feel with you already. When you tire of sitting and I hold you to my chest, you snuggle your little face into the crook of my neck and it is as if the rest of the world disappears. There in that moment there is nothing but perfection.

I wish I was a better writer so I could perfectly craft the words to tell you just how much you mean to me. My heart nearly explodes with love each time I look at your beautiful face or when you turn to give me one of your slobbery baby kisses. I never knew I was capable of such love. To love two children so wholly and completely is more than I could ever ask for. You and your brother make me feel like the luckiest mom in the world.

Love always,
Mama

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A Great Way To Start The Day

Published by dee on May 16, 2008

When Evie woke up this morning she was flashing smiles all over the place. She’s given us a couple smiles but until now they have been very hard to come by. This morning she smiled at me a couple of times. Then I put her in the crib to get her dressed and she was staring down her “Boo” doll and giving her tons of smiles. I wish I had gotten a better picture, but my cell phone camera was the only one I had handy at the time. The poor kid’s going to have a camera in her face all weekend now while I try to capture another one.

Today is Zach’s last day at his “school”. Beginning Monday he’ll be attending the home day care that Evie has been at for the last few weeks. So far she only has three kids including my two. The other is a little girl about Zach’s age. She’s quite energetic but I think that Zach will have a fun time playing with her. I’m still a little sad about having to take him out of school, but I do think it will be the best for all of us. His class is having a pizza party for him today so I get to go join them for lunch. I’m not sure he really understands what is going on yet, but he is enjoying being the center of attention today. I’m just really hoping that the switch goes smoothly next week.

I am really looking forward to the weekend. It is supposed to be warm and sunny all weekend, just the way I like it. I’m hoping to get a few things done around the house and to spend some time outside enjoying the sunshine with my kids. Zach is excited to have his cousin (and best friend) Ryan over on Saturday. He’s already been telling me all the things that they are going to play with while Ryan is here. I’m just happy that he’ll have someone to play with and won’t be glued to the TV all weekend.

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How Was Your Mother's Day?

Published by dee on May 13, 2008

Sunday morning at 6:30 I woke up to a child puking in my bed. It was a lovely way to start out Mother’s Day. What I didn’t know at the time was that he had already been up a couple hours before that getting sick but Hubby had taken care of it. I knew he was up but didn’t realize he had gotten sick. When I finally woke up enough to figure out what was going on, the poor kid had a 103 degree fever and was just miserable.

Hubby offered to stay home with Zach so I could go to church and I took him up on it. Evie and I got up and headed to church, then stayed and had lunch with my sister’s family and my mom. The plan was to have a picnic in the park that evening with all of them plus my brother’s family but I wanted to get home to check on Zach.

By the time I got home the puking was over with but the fever stuck with him through the night and for most of the day Monday. Since Zach was sick, Evie and I stayed home with him on Monday. Somehow I lucked out and got both of them down for naps at the same time and actually had time to clean my kitchen, do some laundry, and fix the keyboard tray on my computer desk that was falling off. I felt so productive.

Zach is feeling much better today but still wasn’t quite ready to go back to school. He spent half the day at work with me and then Hubby brought him home for a nap and some relaxation. Hopefully tomorrow we’ll get back to our regular schedule and things will go much more smoothly.

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8 Weeks

Published by dee on May 13, 2008

8 Weeks - 1

Today Evie is 8 weeks old, only a few days shy of 2 months. At her last weigh in, over two weeks ago she was nearly 12 pounds. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she has gained at least another pound by now. She’s quickly outgrowing her clothes and is already starting to wear some 3-6 month sized outfits.

She has such a distinct personality already. I’m amazed to see so many differences between Evie and Zach. Evie seems to be much more social than Zach was as a baby (although she’s still stingy with the smiles). She loves to watch people’s faces and gets downright angry if you stop paying attention to her. I don’t remember Zach being that way as much, but that could be because he pretty much had my attention 100% of the time. He didn’t have to share.

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