Two Months

Dear Evie,

When I was a young girl dreaming of my future family I always knew I wanted both a boy and a girl. Just as I hoped, the boy came first. You see I always wished that I had a big brother when I was growing up, so that’s what I wanted for my daughter as well. When I found out you were coming along I hoped and prayed that you would be a girl, the last puzzle piece to complete the family that I always dreamed of. And now here you are – my perfect baby girl – and I couldn’t be happier.

You are two months old already and I still have yet to find the time to write about your birth. Your birth was much easier on me than your brother’s and for that I thank you. I’m sure the details of the day will soon start to fade, but I know I’ll never forget the moment when I first saw your face. You looked so much like Zachary, but softer and curvier, just as a girl should be.

I’m not yet sure whether it is fortunate or unfortunate that you seem to have inherited the same stocky build as the rest of your family. You weighed in at 11 pounds at your one month check-up and now, at two months, you are at least 14 pounds. You have your brother’s wide shoulders (which you’ll appreciate some day) and the most adorable little chubby thighs. I absolutely cannot get enough of those thighs.

I try not to compare you to your brother, but it is so hard when I notice such strong differences. While he was smiling and carrying on at about 5 weeks, you always seem to have such a serious look on your face. It has only been within the last week or so that you have started flashing around that gorgeous toothless grin. I already see a so much of myself in your personality. I’m not sure whether to apologize for that or to take pride in it. You are already so intent and focused on the world around you. You like to watch and just take everything in. Only when you are ready will you interact.

I’ve been trying to make sure that your Daddy gets a chance to hold you every now and then. I miss you so much when I’m at work that it is really hard to put you down when I get home. A few days ago Daddy was holding you and I walked in the room to talk to him. As soon as you heard my voice you turned your head trying to find me. Once you got your eyes locked on me you didn’t look away. When I walked away your eyes followed me across the room and then you promptly started crying. I know Daddy didn’t like that much, but I have to admit it felt pretty good to me.

Sometimes when you are fussy I’ll hold you up in a sitting position on my knees. You are getting so strong that you can nearly hold yourself up. When I talk to you, you coo back at me and look directly into my eyes. I’m amazed at how much of a connection I feel with you already. When you tire of sitting and I hold you to my chest, you snuggle your little face into the crook of my neck and it is as if the rest of the world disappears. There in that moment there is nothing but perfection.

I wish I was a better writer so I could perfectly craft the words to tell you just how much you mean to me. My heart nearly explodes with love each time I look at your beautiful face or when you turn to give me one of your slobbery baby kisses. I never knew I was capable of such love. To love two children so wholly and completely is more than I could ever ask for. You and your brother make me feel like the luckiest mom in the world.

Love always,
Mama