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Month: January 2007

Writers Wanted

451 Press, the company that I write for (, is looking for more writers to fill blog positions.  Since most of the people that read my blog are bloggers themselves, I thought I would post this notice and see if anyone is interested.  If you are interested please leave a comment or e-mail me and I’ll get back to you with the details.

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Looking Forward to Something Besides Football

I really hope that this will turn out to be a good thing and that he stays with the right team.

If not, hopefully I’ll have this to fall back on for entertainment during the long baseball season.  I got totally hooked this weekend and now I just have to find the money to buy it for myself…or hope that I get it for my birthday.

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Where's the Sandman when you need him?

Ever since we returned from Hawaii I can’t seem to sleep at night.  At first I blamed it on the time change, but we’ve been back for over a week now so I figure I should be adjusted.  I generally go to bed around 10:00 during the week and later on the weekends when I don’t have to get up so early.  For the last week or so I’ve had to force myself to go to bed at 11:00 even when I’m not tired.  Regardless of what time I actually get to sleep, my alarm clock is still going to wake me up at 6:15 so I can’t allow myself to stay up any later than that.  It is always a struggle to get up in the morning.

Yesterday afternoon while Zach was napping I wanted to take advantage of the situation and get some quiet computer time in.  After about five minutes of staring at the computer screen I just couldn’t keep my eyes open.  I eventually set the computer aside and gave in.  I slept for about two hours before I realized it.  Then of course when it was time to go to bed last night I couldn’t sleep.  I even took some Benadryl to see if it would help but even with the Benadryl fog I still tossed and turned all night.  When the alarm went off this morning I felt like I hadn’t slept at all.

I suppose my internal clock could still be out of whack because of the trip, but this is getting a bit ridiculous.  I just want to get a good night’s sleep in.  Even two or three good nights a week would be a great improvement.

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19 Months

Dear Zachary,

jan_07 023Another month has come and gone and I find myself sitting here wondering if time will ever slow back down.  It seems like everything is on fast forward these days and I don’t know how to push the stop button.  You are growing up so quickly.

Over the last few weeks you have become very opinionated.  Your favorite word is “NO!” and you love to scream it out whenever we ask you any kind of question.  I’m really starting to miss the days when your answer to everything was “yes.” 

hawaii06 085You are also showing even more signs of your daddy’s stubbornness.  You went almost a whole day at day care refusing to eat just to show that you did have the power.  When I got there to pick you up, you were still sitting at the table with your untouched snack.  As soon as I told you to eat it, you gobbled it right down.  Then we came home and fixed dinner and you ate like you had never seen food before.  This whole concept of using food for power confuses me because Mama never misses a meal.  Well, except for that one night that I just totally forgot to eat dinner.

You are still learning new words every day.  I’m not sure whether you know what all of them mean, but you can repeat most words that you hear.  Three of your most commonly used words–drink, down, and done–often sound very similar and you get frustrated when I can’t figure out which one you are saying.  I hate it when I can’t understand you because I really love that we can now communicate with language.

hawaii06 331Your love for music has expanded this month into singing and dancing.  Every time you hear a song with a good beat you bust out into a dance and shake your booty.  It is about the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.  You’ve been trying to sing along to your music for a while, but now you can actually say some of the words in the songs.  Last night you surprised Daddy and I by singing along to the ABC’s on your Leap Frog toy.  You couldn’t quite enunciate all of the letter names but you had the basic sounds correct.

hawaii06 507A couple of weeks ago, Daddy and I took you on vacation to Hawaii.  We had a great time while we were there and you were an absolute angel.  We stayed with your Aunt and Uncle and Granny and Papa were there too.  I really enjoyed watching you with them.  Even though we don’t see them often you somehow still remember them and know that they are yours.  My favorite part of the trip was watching you play on the beach.  You would run up to the water with a giggle and let the waves wash over your feet.  As soon as the water hit, your laughter would turn into a cry because the water was very cold.  Then you would go back to laughing again.  I wish I would have been brave enough to take my camera near the water and video it but somehow I think it will be burned in my memory forever.

Returning from Hawaii was quite an adjustment for all of us.  Besides the four hour time difference, our leisurely days had to return to our normal structured routine.  For you that meant returning to day care.  The first couple of days back you were pretty clingy when I dropped you off.  Your friend H. must have missed you because she spent most of that first day back holding your hand.  She may have been protecting you from the new kids a little bit too.

The Bite-1Yesterday was a difficult day for you and I both.  I got a call from day care saying that you had been bitten by a little boy (who was there for his first day).  Your day care provider was pretty upset about the whole situation and apologized profusely.  You were bitten about four times on your face from what we can tell.  While your face does look pretty bad with all of those bite marks, the part that hurts me the most is that it was the first time that you had to experience someone intentionally hurting you.  You have rarely experienced pain in your life and never pain that was inflicted upon you by another person.  It breaks my heart when I think about it.  You, however, have been very tough and are going on like nothing even happened.

Some days I look at you and see a little boy standing before me and other days I see a grown man.  I imagine what you will be like as an adult and know that that time will come all too quickly.  I just wish I could slow it down because I never want to give up these days with you.

Love always,

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The Bites

The Bite-1, originally uploaded by deew27.

I tried to get a picture of the bites on Zach’s face but I had a hard time capturing it the way it really looks. As bad as it looks in the pictures, it looks even worse in real life. I’m just afraid of what it will look like tomorrow when the bruising comes out.

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Not So Deep Random Thoughts

Is it a bad thing when the inspirational messages inside my Dove chocolates wrappers (yes that’s plural) piss me off?  And really, what does that say about me?

I wonder if the need to protect my child will ever go away.  I’m guessing I’ll still feel it when he’s 40.  The bite at day care is still nagging at me.

I’m quickly inching towards 29, and while that doesn’t really worry me, the fact that I’m that much closer to 30 kind of freaks me out.  Too bad I can’t just stop having birthdays after this year.  I suppose I should just embrace it and move on.

Speaking of freaking me out, a couple of days ago I went to the restroom at work (exciting, huh?) and there was another woman walking into one of the stalls.  When she saw me she freaked out, said she had stage fright and walked out of the bathroom.  When I was finished and walked out of the bathroom she was standing by the door waiting to go back in.  Apparently not only does she have stage fright but she can’t be in the bathroom if someone else is peeing.  I wondered what in the heck she’s going to do if she ever has kids.

Free music is totally awesome!  I entered a contest on a music blog a while back and won a free Lucinda Williams cd.  I probably would not have bought it on my own but I am enjoying listening to something a little different today.

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