Tag: Kids & Parenting

Bullying in Kindergarten

Published by dee on September 15, 2010

One month in the public school system and I’m ready to bring my babies home, lock the doors for good, and home school them until they’re 25. Please note that it has nothing to do with the teaching. I do believe that my son has an excellent teacher, probably the best that I could ask for. He’s excited to learn. It amazes me how much he has picked up on over the last four weeks.

He was flipping through a book last night as I was putting laundry away, pointed to a word and said, “Mommy, that says ‘me’!” Indeed it did. He was so pleased with himself, and so was I. He is a smart kid and so willing and ready to learn.

I knew kindergarten would be hard. I knew there would be adjustments to make. I knew he would be tired and that he most likely would come home with a new sassy attitude that he would pick up from his peers. I was somewhat prepared for that.

What I wasn’t prepared for was him getting picked on. I wasn’t prepared for my little bitty 5-year-old to come home telling me that a kid pushed him down and his foot was hurting because of it, or that another kid tried to push his head into the toilet, or that a kid was pushing him every time they got in line, or that another kid “spanked” him in the restroom. I especially wasn’t prepared for him to tell me that he was the one that got in trouble for it all because the other kid ran ahead and told the teacher that Zachary did it first.

I can’t say that Zachary wasn’t at fault. I would be almost certain that he’s not telling 100% of the truth because he’s afraid he’ll be in trouble at home too. I know he has pushed back, hit, and even on one occasion bit another kid, but I’m guessing that most of the time it was provoked. He’s not an aggressive kid and most of the time tends to shy away from confrontation.

Yes, I’ve talked to the teacher. Notes have been sent home. E-mails have been exchanged. I’m currently waiting on her to get back to me regarding a meeting time so we can discuss this whole thing again. I’m willing to do anything to get this to stop.

I’ve discussed it as much as possible with Zach, but he shuts down when I bring it up. He doesn’t want to talk about it for long. I remind him as I drop him off every day to be nice to the other kids, to tell the teacher if someone does something to him, and not to hit or push back if someone does something to him.

After missing recess yesterday (because he got caught hitting back the kid who “spanked” him) he spent nearly the entire evening in tears. Every little thing just set him off again.

I’ve spent most of the day today trying to hold back my own tears. For the last three weeks I have felt like there is a huge brick laying on my chest that I can’t shake off. I certainly can’t keep him out of school, but I just want to grab him up and run as far away as possible. I hate that I can’t protect him from all of this. I hate that I can’t just fix it.

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Soccer Was A Big Win

Published by dee on September 14, 2010

It may be an inconvenience to my schedule, but it is absolutely worth it to see the big smiles on my boy.

So what if dinner was at 7:30 last night? He loves soccer.

His little sister also loves soccer now and would like to “play soccer practice too.”

Practice again on Thursday. His very first game on Saturday. We can’t wait.

Does this make me a soccer mom or do I have to have the mini-van first?

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Boiling Point

Published by dee on March 1, 2010

My mind races with things that need to be released. I write post after post in my head, yet lack the time to sit and type them out. My life, it is chaotic. As I whine and complain about how busy and crazy things always are, I also know that this is the life I chose. My choices got me to this place of constant activity, stress, and very little rest. The weekends and evenings go too fast, the weekdays too slow.

There are ups and downs and so many things in between. Some days I sit back amazed at how blessed I am in my life. Other days I wonder just how much longer I can keep it all together. At times I feel like I’m just going through the motions, just to get through one more day. Those times make me feel like I am missing out on so much. I wonder how I’ll ever make it when the kids are older and involved in school and activities and play dates and birthday parties.

This last week was particularly hard. I was still trying to catch up on life as February went and got all crazy on me. My car was in the shop. Grocery shopping got delayed due to the snow and ice the weekend before and we were out of food. Zach had a music program at preschool Wednesday night. I had to get our taxes done because we needed the refund to pay for the car repairs. Zach had to go to the doctor due to some stomach problems he’s been having. I couldn’t find time to work on web site updates that were long past due. I was worried about not having time to get the bills paid before the end of the seemingly very short month. Plus, on top of that, I was trying to fight off a cold. Things just kept piling up and by Friday night I was spent.

Saturday I got up with my own agenda in mind while everyone else in the house had a different one. As much as I’d like to deny it, Evie will be turning 2 in a couple of weeks and I wanted to set up my makeshift photography studio, experiment with some lighting, and attempt to get some good photos of her. I thought this would relax me, but I found myself getting angry at my not quite 2-year-old for wiggling when I wanted her to sit still. I kept getting interrupted by Zach and Hubby kept asking me questions until the point that I lashed out at him.

I finally decided to give up on the pictures because I was getting too frustrated (and so was Evie). Hubby left to pick something up at the store. I took Evie back to her room for a nap where we snuggled for a few minutes and I apologized to her for yelling. Then she asked if we could go take more pictures. If she’s willing, I’m game. I took her back to the playroom where everything was set up and we tried again. This time, instead of getting frustrated, I tried to make it fun. We sang songs, we laughed, and we had a good time until I could tell she was tired of it. I got some great photos of her smiling and laughing.

Sometimes I just have to hit the edge before I can see a situation clearly. The rest of the weekend was better. I still had to do things like pay bills, stress over money, feed my children, bathe them, and all the rest of the mundane daily tasks, but I tried to keep myself in a better frame of mind. I didn’t find the time to finish editing photos, to dig into the photography books I’ve been dying to read, to browse around on the Clickin’ Moms forum like I wanted to. But those things will still be there tomorrow, and the many days after that.

Besides, I did manage to get some gorgeous photos of my little girl and even a few of my boys too.

Rest assured, I’ll be sharing more of these once I have a chance to do some editing. My lighting and exposure wasn’t quite right, but I’m learning.

And, for those of you interested, here’s a small piece of Zach’s music program performance. He was so excited for this and did such a good job. This proud mama was beaming.

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Who Needs Sleep?

Published by dee on January 21, 2010

One of the dangers of being the Mom of this household is that I rarely get a moment to myself. Well, that’s not entirely true. I get about 15 minutes to myself to shower in the mornings as long as the kids don’t wake up early. Plus, if I time it just right, I can escape to the bathroom for a minute or two at a time before the kids start banging on the door. Other than that, I’m pretty much out of luck unless everyone (including hubby) goes to bed before me.

To combat this lack of alone time, I’ve started staying up later and later at night. About the only time I can accomplish anything is after the kids are put to bed. This usually doesn’t happen until around 9:00, and then I have to balance the remaining time with the hubby, household chores, meal planning, bill paying, reading, web design, blogging, photo editing, knitting, and all of the millions of other things I enjoy doing. Oh, and don’t forget keeping up with my favorite shows! It’s all quite exhausting just thinking about it.

Recently I’ve been working on building a new web site for the church we’ve been attending. It has taken up pretty much every free moment I can find over the last few weeks between communicating with team members, updating information, troubleshooting, editing, and creating new content. The only way I can feel like I’m accomplishing anything is to spend a couple of hours a night on it and it still has a long way to go to become the site I want it to be.

While I’m definitely enjoying the challenge of creating this web site, it is wearing on me quickly. Each night seems to get later and later as I strive to get just one more little thing done. Then, when I finally give up for the night, my head is still racing so I need a distraction before I can fall asleep. So I go to bed, pick up my book, and read until I’m ready to fall asleep. Before I know it, it’s 1:30 a.m. and I have yet to turn out the lights.

This would all be just fine if I could sleep in until 9:30 or 10:00 the next morning, but unfortunately, the alarm goes off at 6:30 and it’s time to start another day. As much as I wish it was, five hours of sleep just isn’t enough. Somehow, I need to teach myself to shut down a little earlier. My body is going to give out sooner or later.

The good news is that tonight is my TV night. I plan to leave the computer turned off, settle in my chair with my knitting and watch three entire hours of good shows. With a little luck, I may even get to bed an hour or two earlier.

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22 Months

Published by dee on January 20, 2010

Dear Evie,

Oh my little monkey, here you are at 22 months old and already I’m seeing visions of your pre-teen years. You’ve always had a little sass to you, but recently the sassiness has escalated to levels I was not prepared for. Rest assured, I am not the only one that has noticed this. You suddenly seem to think that you control the world. Though I hate to burst your bubble, I have to tell you that it just is not so.

All of this attitude came along with a huge speech explosion. It seemed like overnight you went from saying single words to speaking in sentences and making demands. You tell us what you want, when you want it (NOW!), and how you want it. When we don’t comply with your wishes, you let us know just how unhappy you are by screaming like a banshee and repeating yourself over and over again. Maybe you’re trying to make us understand your words, but yeah, WE GOT IT.

You have also discovered the fact that humans were blessed with free will and you apparently think that makes all things in life optional. So now, when Mommy says things like, “Evie, it’s time to take a bath.” you respond with, “NO, I NOT!” It was charming and rather funny the first few times, but it got old really fast. Even the things you like to do (like take a bath) usually get a “NO, I NOT!” these days until you figure out that you really do want to do it. I know you’re only trying to assert your new found independence, but I still dream of the day when “yes” becomes your favorite word.

While it may sound like I’m complaining about all the talking, I absolutely love it! I finally get to know what’s going on in your head. We have actual conversations now which just amazes me. You are one smart little girl. You have a great memory and surprise me constantly with all the words you know. The best part though, is when I tuck you into bed at night. Every night we say a bed time prayer and then sing a couple of songs to help you settle down. You can almost recite the entire prayer with me now and you always request “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” and sing along with me to the words you know. It’s a sweet way to end a busy day and I enjoy it every time.

Your brother, on the other hand, does not like you talking so much. You see, before you started talking, he was under the impression that he controlled the world because he was the only child in the room that spoke. He assumed that his demands were the only ones that existed, simply because we heard no others. Now things have changed and he’s having a hard time getting used to it. He gets really upset when we allow you to make a choice before him (even though we generally alternate) but I suppose it is just something we all have to get used to. I remember arguing about the same things with my brother and sister.

You are becoming so much more independent all of a sudden that I have to remind myself to just let you do things yourself. You are getting really good at using your fork and spoon and actually getting the food to your mouth. You have also started using a regular cup when we’re at the table. You usually still request a sippy cup full of milk when we’re finished eating, but it is nice to see that you can use a regular cup without spilling too much.

The other thing we’ve been really working on is potty training. You know exactly what to do when we get you to the potty at the right time, but you aren’t really telling us when you need to go. I think you’ll be there soon. You’re brain has just been busy focusing on other things. You definitely have the right idea. You do love wearing your pull-ups during the day and can even pull them up and down by yourself now.

A few weeks ago, your day care provider started watching a new baby. I was a little afraid of how you would react at first because you and your BFF had been the babies there for so long. You seemed to adjust just fine though. At home, you started carrying your baby dolls around with you constantly. You tell us when they are hungry, feed them bottles, change their diapers, and tuck them into bed when they are sleepy. I love watching you take care of them. You’ll be a great mama some day.

Each month seems like it goes by faster and faster as I watch you growing up so fast. Two is less than two months away now. As you inch towards it, I feel myself relaxing in some ways. Even though I still call you a baby, you really aren’t any more. I see more and more glimpses of the big girl you are quickly becoming and I am so proud.

Love always,
Mama

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One of Those Nights

Published by dee on December 3, 2009

Last night at 12:30, I was just getting in bed as I heard a cry from the kids’ room. I assumed it was Evie because she’s been rather cranky the last few days and not sleeping well. I waited to see if she stopped before heading in there, but when she kept crying I figured I better go see what was wrong. When I got in the bedroom, it wasn’t Evie crying. It was Zach.

He was sitting up, holding his ear, and crying. He couldn’t sleep because his ear was hurting so bad. By that time, Evie was awake also, sitting up and crying. I got Zach up so I could take a look at his ear and give him some Motrin for the pain. Evie was screaming her head off so I handed her off to Daddy and listened to her scream the entire time.

When I finally got Zach ready to go back to bed, he refused to go to his bed and crawled in our bed instead. He refused to move. Evie was still screaming. After a few words with Hubby I left Zach where he was, scooped Evie up and snuggled up in her bed with her. The screaming continued for quite a while after Evie and I got in her bed. She was not at all happy to be woken up.

The funniest part of the night though, was what I learned about my daughter during the hour or so that I spent trying to settle her down. She is so much more like me than I ever knew. She wanted to snuggle, and wanted me to be close, but she didn’t want me to touch her at all. She sat up and adjusted her pillow multiple times before finally settling down. She had to have her blanket just right and every single time I moved the slightest bit she woke up and screamed again, thinking I was getting up. She apparently sleeps just like me – except I don’t scream every time Hubby moves.

Hubby, on the other hand, got to find out what it was like to sleep with someone who is just like him. Zach spent the night smushed up against his Daddy, kicking and wiggling all night long, while there was an entire half of the bed empty on the other side. He’s a bit of a snuggler.

Let’s just say that neither of us slept very well. It was one of those nights that you have to expect as a parent, but they never get any easier.

I took Zach to the doctor today and of course he does have an ear infection. He’s now on oral antibiotics plus antibiotic drops because his ear tubes are apparently clogged. To top it off, he ended up getting both the seasonal and H1N1 flu shots as well because we happened to be there right after the doctor’s office got a shipment in. He was NOT happy about the shots or the ear drops, but hopefully his ear will start feeling better soon.

As for me, I’ll be all better after a good night’s sleep…which I may get in another 18 years or so.

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