Tag: Kids & Parenting

Halloween Fun in the Kitchen

Published by dee on October 28, 2009

I debated where to post this entry because it really could work as a recipe post or even a crafty post, but really it is just about me and my boy having fun in the kitchen so I’m posting it here.

Back in early September I was walking around Dollar Tree and spotted a bag of Halloween cookie cutters. I couldn’t pass them up for the grand price of $1.00 so I bought them and stashed them away. Well, apparently Halloween is coming up in a couple of days (whether I’m ready or not) so I told Zach that we could go ahead and make some cookies using them tonight.

(And when I say *make* cookies, I mean roll out the Pillsbury pre-made cookie dough, cut out the shapes, bake, and then decorate with pre-made icing. One of these days I’ll do it from scratch but I’m just not there yet.)

Zach and Evie both helped with the cookie cutters while I rolled out the dough and placed each cutout on the cookie sheet for baking. Evie got bored after the first few and went off with Daddy while Zach and I finished up. I was a little disappointed because for some reason I can never get sugar cookies to bake without spreading and flattening out so some of the shapes didn’t come out too well. Zach didn’t seem to mind though.

I had planned on baking the cookies tonight and then decorating tomorrow because I knew it would make for a late night but Zach was having so much fun I gave in and we started decorating. I think he got about four cookies done before he was too “tired” to do any more. He munched on a couple of cookies, then headed off to bed and left me to finish the rest.

Some of them came out nice, some didn’t. But, the important part is that we had fun together, right?

Here are Zach’s masterpieces:

A group shot:

And my very favorite one* that I love so much I won’t be able to stand to eat it:

*The idea for the spiderweb design came from another blog (I believe she used it on cupcakes?) that I read this week but I can’t for the life of me remember which one. If anyone knows, please tell me!

Also, sorry about the crappy photos but I was too lazy to go get a real camera and took these with my iphone!

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The Best of Friends

Published by dee on October 27, 2009

I knew it would happen one day, I just assumed it was still a ways off…a long ways off. It happened without me even really noticing at first. I had been working all day cleaning out my closet and dresser, doing laundry, and just general house cleaning type of stuff. I finally decided I was done for the day and sat down in my comfy chair to relax for a bit. There I was minding my own business when I realized there were no little people in the room, just me and Hubby.

It was so QUIET.

It was quiet in a way that seemed so wrong, yet so right at the same time. I heard some giggles coming from the back of the house, but that didn’t ruin my moment of pure bliss. It was then that I realized my two kids were in the bedroom playing together. Evie, who is usually contained to the living room/playroom area by baby gates had escaped and gone back to watch TV with her brother.

They were playing and laughing and having the best time together. It’s not that they don’t play together, because they do all the time. The difference was that there was no screaming or crying or fussing. I didn’t have to jump up twenty times to see who was hurt or which one had stolen a toy from the other. They were just having fun together.

I sat in the living room with Hubby just enjoying the sounds of my kids being not only brother and sister, but friends. The fact that they were entertaining each other and not using me for a jungle gym or crying, “Mommy, Mommy, MOMMY!” was just icing on the cake.

It was one of those moments that reminds you just how worth it it all is. All the day-to-day stuff just pushes itself away and isn’t so important.

Later that night, as I was putting Evie to bed, Zach gave his sister a big hug and said, “Sissy, you’re my best friend!” And my heart melted into a gigantic puddle of goo.

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Want

Published by dee on October 5, 2009

I need a maid, a personal chef, a cat puke cleaner-upper, a bill payer, a computer expert, a chauffeur, and an extra pair of hands. I need a clone of myself, actually how about 3 or 4? I need someone to do all of those things that I don’t have the time for or just plain don’t want to do.

I want to escape the day to day life and go back to a time when things were simple.

I want to go sit in a comfy chair and read for hours on end, maybe even finish an entire book in a single day.

I want to knit until my hands cramp up, then warm them while I sip on a cup of hot chocolate and reflect.

I want to find a great photography book and teach myself how to set my camera just so and get that perfect shot.

I want to sew and to have the time it takes to learn by trial and error with no distractions. I would like to make my daughter a dress.

I want to dust off my guitar and re-learn the few chords I used to know. I’d like to learn to play an entire song that I can strum and sing to my kids.

I want to devote an entire day to playing with my kids without thinking about that bill that needs paid or the laundry that is piling up.

I want to design web sites again and finally finish the one that has been promised for so long.

I want a job that allows me to see my kids for more than 2 1/2 hours a day – one that is meaningful and that I can be proud of.

I want so many things, yet I feel like everything I want is so unattainable these days. The thing I want the most is time. There’s never enough. We rush through the work week to get to the weekends, but when the weekend comes there is so much to cram into it that we miss out on the things that matter most.

Sunday evening I felt myself getting frustrated beyond belief. I spent most of the day cleaning, trying to make up for all that was strewn around from the prior week. We spent Saturday having fun with family, which was totally worth it, but it made for a lot of catch-up on Sunday. While I rushed around the house picking up jackets off the floor, tripping over toys, cleaning the kitchen, vacuuming the floors, washing and putting away laundry, and fussing at Zach repeatedly to clean up his toys, Hubby sat and watched football. Evie followed Zach and I around, taking out everything that Zach and I had put away. Hubby was having some computer issues and kept stopping me to ask me questions.

I took a break from cleaning to fix dinner. Hubby made his awesome guacamole that I had requested and we enjoyed a nice dinner together. Then I started in on the evening bath routine. While Zach was in the shower, I ran through the living room to put another thing away when Hubby stopped me yet again with a computer question. I was short with him. I just couldn’t take one more thing. I was in a hurry to get Zach finished with his shower so I could get him settled down with a TV show and I could try to get bills paid before my shows came on that I wanted to watch. Hubby snapped back at me after I snapped at him.

I just wanted to get done so I could finally relax. In that moment I felt so under-appreciated. I felt like I had spent all day working my butt off while everyone else spent the day playing and relaxing. I was short with my kids and my husband. I was stressed about the fact that I just can not ever get it all done. I will never be caught up. I will never feel like I can truly sit down and relax because my mind is going in a million different directions.

I need life to slow down. I want my kids to have happy memories, not to remember a mom who yelled all the time because she was always so overwhelmed with life. I don’t want to be in such a rush that I miss the good times. I want to enjoy this life, not look back years from now and wonder where all the time went.

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Sometimes I Forget How Small He Still Is

Published by dee on May 11, 2009

Mornings have been a struggle lately. We go back and forth with this, but lately it seems to be much harder than usual. Zach just doesn’t like to get up. Once he’s up, he doesn’t like to get dressed. Once he’s dressed, he doesn’t want to leave. When we finally make it to day care, he doesn’t want to get out of the car. I always get some resistance from him, but today was really hard.

This morning it took nearly 30 minutes just to get him out of bed. Evie was being clingy so I only had one hand to work with, and couldn’t do much but pester him to get up. Once he was finally up and we went through the whole getting dressed process he told me he didn’t want to go to day care. We had our usual talk about how he has to go to day care so Mommy and Daddy can work, etc. but he still wasn’t budging. Finally the real issue came out.

“K told me he doesn’t want to play with me any more,” he says with the saddest face I’ve ever seen. “He says I’m not a nice friend and he won’t play with me.”

My heart totally sank.

I heard a little of this going on the week before but dismissed it thinking it would all blow over but apparently it stuck with him. My mama bear instincts wanted to just sweep him up, give him a big hug, and tell him it would all be all right (and to tell K that he was a big meanie). But, my parenting instincts told me that this was a teaching moment and I needed to find just the right words to teach him how to deal with people that hurt his feelings.

Gah.

I did give him a big hug and raced through what I should say in my head. I explained to him that sometimes even your friends will say things that hurt your feelings. Sometimes they are just mad and don’t really mean it, but sometimes they do it because you have done something that hurt their feelings first. I suggested to him that if K does this again, maybe he could just go play with someone else for a while until K is ready to play with him again. We talked a little about how he needed to make sure he was being a nice friend as well so his friends would want to play with him. And of course, if they can’t solve it themselves then he can always ask a grown-up to help. I want him to learn how to deal with things like this on his own, because God knows this won’t be the last conflict that comes along. This is so minor compared to the things he’ll have to deal with in the future.

The hard part is that K is the closest one to Zach’s age at day care. The other kids are quite a bit younger, which is why Zach gravitates toward K most of the time. It is a small home day care, so there aren’t a lot of options. When they’re both happy they have a great time together. But, K plays more violently, obviously watches some more grown-up things on TV, and has the attitude to go with it. Even though he’s just a few months older than Zach, he definitely seems much older and Zach looks up to him in a way. Zach, however, is the kid that wants to play the tough guy but is really quite sensitive underneath. He was totally crushed that K didn’t want to play with him.

I’m guessing that this whole thing was weighing on him all weekend. He had kind of a rough weekend overall and I feel bad that I didn’t pick up on it and ask him what was going on. I just assumed he was being obstinate on purpose. We grow up in this society that tells us that boys are tough and don’t have feelings but seeing my 3-year-old boy so distraught over the snub of a friend brought me back to reality real quick. I’m just as guilty as anybody else of forgetting boys have feelings too (just ask my husband).

Zach is growing up so fast. He’ll be four years old next month. He wants to be so independent. Most days I look at him and I see this big boy that can do nearly anything he puts his mind to. Other days, like today, I look at him and see the tiny little baby I gave birth to and I want to hold in my arms and keep him there forever. That’s the only place I can truly protect him.

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Breaking My Own Rules Again

Published by dee on May 4, 2009

Way back before I had kids I went to college. I majored in Psychology and took classes in Child Psychology, Child Development, Family Management (as part of my minor), and the like. I LOVED these classes. In fact, had I tried to get my Master’s in one of these areas instead of Social Work I may have actually finished the degree. After taking all of these classes (not to mention all the bazillion parenting magazines I had read), I had a picture of the ideal parent fixed in my mind. I had all these ideas, thoughts, and plans for how I would parent my own child someday.

Then I had kids.

And all those ideas, thoughts, and plans when down the drain.

I have since remembered what many of my teachers (and other parents) also tried to teach me. Every kid is different. They all develop in their own time. They all have different personalities and different ways of understanding the world. They all have to be dealt with on an individual basis. What works for one doesn’t necessarily work for another one.

Also, there is no such thing as the ideal parent. That would have been helpful to know, say, 3 years and 10 months ago. I think my son could give even the best of parents a run for their money. I spent the longest time trying to figure out just where my “perfect” parenting skills had gone wrong before realizing that parenting just can’t change a child’s personality. You would think all of my classes could have taught me that, huh?

Zach is what some would call a “spirited” child. He’s amazingly bright and has an incredible imagination, but if you say the wrong word or move the wrong way he goes totally ballistic. The hardest part is that you never really know what it is going to be that sets him off. He’s also obsessed with TV.

I’ve tried different methods of dealing with his outbursts without much luck. We’ve tried positive reinforcement, removing him from the situation, yelling, spanking, behavior charts, letting him scream it out, etc. The one thing that always, without a doubt, will calm him is to turn on the TV (assuming you have chosen the correct show for that moment in time). Want him to pick up his toys? Reward him with TV. Want him to eat his dinner? Reward him with TV. Want to get him dressed in the morning? Reward him with TV. Want to see a tantrum? Turn off the TV before his show is done. It drives me crazy but it works.

I’d hate to hear what Supernanny would have to say about this.

Yes, I’ve read the reports about how bad TV is for kids. But, a mother who is insane from screaming and tantrums is most likely bad for the kids too. If TV keeps my sanity intact for a little longer, then by all means I’m going to let the kid watch TV.

That’s one of the reasons why I broke my own rule (no TV in bedrooms or playrooms) last week and finally decided to put a TV (with DVD player only) in the kids’ play room. Daddy (ok, and Mommy) likes the TV too and I’m not really interested in listening to them argue about who gets to watch the TV any more. It’s all about keeping the peace. Zach can now watch his DVD’s pretty much any time he wants to (with obvious exceptions of dinner, bed time, etc.) on his own TV.

So far he has watched exactly one movie on his TV the day we set it up.

He didn’t ask for it even once over the weekend.

Huh.

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Zach's Pizza Party

Published by dee on April 2, 2009

Ever since Evie was born, Zach has kind of gotten the shaft on this here blog. It certainly doesn’t mean that I love him any less. It is simply because Evie is developing so fast and she seems to be doing something new nearly every day. And, since I documented Zach’s early days I find myself trying to keep up with that precedent that I set for myself.

In the meantime, I’ve missed blogging a lot of fun things Zach has been doing over the last year. He is definitely a struggle most days, as I’ve documented, but the kid is also absolutely hilarious. He constantly surprises me with the things that come out of his mouth. He has an incredible imagination. There are times that I wish I had a voice recorder to just follow him around with so I could remember all of his stories.

This morning on the way to work he told me he wanted to have a pizza party. When I asked him what kind of pizza party he wanted he explained, “Mommy, I want to have a pizza party on the grass at our house with everybody on Earth. We can all eat around the house and I’ll be in front. I’ll be in front of the house.” He’s been very interested in this concept of “Earth” lately and I’m not exactly sure he understands the enormity of it all. He went on to explain more about his pizza party, but I can’t remember the details now.

That is nowhere near as outlandish as some of his ideas. It makes me wonder where his imagination will take him someday and what amazing things he will accomplish in his life. He is such an amazing kid and I really hate to think about how much time I spend having to fuss at him to do this or do that when all he wants to do is tell me another story about Mater flying through the air to save Buzz Lightyear.

I know he’ll understand someday when he has kids of his own (he says he would like to have four, by the way) that life isn’t all about play. But I hope even more that when he’s an adult he’s lucky enough to have a job where he gets to use his imagination and play every day. Because really, isn’t that what we all want?

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