Scattered

I’m finally getting used to the idea that there is actually a teeny tiny baby forming in my belly. Even though I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and spilled the news to everyone already, the whole thing still feels a bit surreal. I keep trying to explain away the signs, but it is hard to explain away the big plus sign on the pee stick. I’d really like to know the odds of getting pregnant with only one ovary while on birth control pills. Whatever they are, we apparently beat them. Perhaps I should go buy a lottery ticket?

I haven’t been to the doctor yet, but there’s no denying the positive test and the nausea. I go in for the official test and due date calculation next Friday, just before we leave for vacation. I am already extremely anxious to find out if we’re having a boy or girl. Zach wants it to be a boy and Evie would very much like for it to be a girl. I’m happy either way, although I do lean a little toward wanting it to be a girl. Plus, as ridiculous as it may be, I’m already stressing about names. I have always had baby names in the back of my mind for future use, but this time, I’ve got nothing. We do have a possible middle name if it ends up being a boy, but that’s it. Why do I care about that so much this early in the pregnancy? I have no idea, but it is driving me nuts.

The fun part of this all, is that we’ll have another “pair” of babies in our family. My brother and his wife are expecting a little boy in September so the two will be about 5-6 months apart. That means each one of my kids will have a cousin within 6 months of their age that lives nearby. It has been really fun watching them all grow up together so far and I look forward to seeing two more added to the group.

My mind is just all over the place right now. So many things to do, to get ready, to prepare for. I know I have so much time, but everything suddenly seems very urgent to me for some reason. I didn’t feel this way with the other two, but maybe that is because I was mentally preparing for years before they were a reality. It’s crazy how different it feels this time.

Holy cow, you guys, we’re having a(nother) baby!