Category: Living the Life

Whew!  This was one busy weekend.  Of course, that was pretty much my fault as I scheduled too many things in too short of a time period.  Friday I celebrated my 28th birthday.  I still can’t figure out why I seem to feel so much older this year than last year, but I do.  Hubby came home Thursday night with a gift for me.  He absolutely cannot wait when he buys me something.  He tried to wait for Friday morning, but ended up giving in and letting me have it Thursday night anyway.  I had already gotten the three books that I ever so slyly hinted that I wanted (turns out those Amazon wish lists do come in handy).  So, he hid my gift behind his back (because he never wraps them) while I opened my card and then handed me a brand spankin’ new mp3 player.  I was a little irritated that he spent so much money, but I’ve been wanting one for a long time now, so I was thrilled that he got me one.  Hey, at least he told me he got it on clearance so I felt a little better.

Friday morning I got up and headed off to work.  My mom stopped and picked up donuts and bagels for breakfast in honor of my birthday.  I worked my butt off Friday morning trying to get things finished up so I could be home by 2:00.  My boss had an appraiser coming by the house and I had to be there to meet him.  About 5 minutes before I had to leave, as I was rushing around trying to get everything done, I got called up to the front desk.  Much to my surprise, hubby had also sent me a beautiful bouquet of flowers.  I was a bit shocked as he’s not really the flower type.  In my rush to get home, I forgot to call him, which made him a bit mad.  It’s not like I didn’t appreciate them.  I just didn’t have a chance to call.  By the time I got home, the appraiser was already there waiting for me.

Once the appraiser left, I spent a little time playing around with my mp3 player and then took a nice long hot shower.  After my shower, I got dressed, fixed my hair, and actually put on some make-up in preparation for the big night.  Hubby got home and offered to go pick Zach up from day care (the first time he has EVER done that!).  I fed Zach, gave him a quick bath, and then loaded him up in the car and headed to my sister’s house. 

After we got all the kids settled in with my mom, we headed out for the night.  We went to a local bar & grill that turns into a bar/dance club after 10:00.  We had appetizers, dinner, and lots of drinks while we waited for everyone else to arrive.  I got a couple of really cute shirts and some candles from my best friend and a couple of cards.  Once everyone was there, we partied it up and had a really good time.  I ended up doing a couple of shots that I really shouldn’t have.  My stomach started feeling pretty bad so I had to shut it off early.  I was a little bummed because I had planned on becoming completely stupid and drunk and didn’t even get close.  But, I had a great time hanging out with my friends regardless.  I rather enjoyed all the attention being on me, which is totally out of character for me.

After the partying ended, we went back to my sister’s house and spent the night there.  Fortunately, Zach was very cooperative and slept pretty well until about 7:00 on Saturday morning.  Hubby grumbled about it, but got up with the baby and let me sleep for a couple more hours.  Too bad he was the one with the hangover and not me!  We spent most of the day there watching movies and just hanging out. 

When we left my sister’s house, we headed straight over to my best friend’s house.  Her 16-year old was going to his first high school dance with his girlfriend and I promised I would come over and take some pics with my digital camera before they left.  I was amazed at how emotional I got when I saw the kids all dressed up and ready to go out.  We are really close with their family and I have watched the kids grow up over the last 4 1/2 years or so.  I almost felt like it was my own kid going off to his first dance, all dressed up.  I was even nervous for him, hoping that everything went smoothly (which I found out later it did).

Sunday we did our usual church and dinner at my dad’s house.  Then I dropped Zach and hubby off at the house while I went to do a little quick shopping.  I got home in time to have 1/2 hour to clean up and do some dishes before we rushed off again for a birthday dinner with my mom, my brother and his wife, and my sister’s family.  We went to the Cheesecake Factory which is one of my favorite special occasions restaurants (because I can’t afford to go there very often).  Dinner was wonderful.  I stuffed myself royally.  By the time we got home, we pretty much all just fell into bed.

Today, I’ve been trying to recover from all of the chaos.  I didn’t sleep well lastnight and it was very hard to get up this morning.  Plus, Zach’s schedule is so screwed up from all the weekend festivities that he was very crabby this morning, making it even harder for me to get around.  I just wanna go home, snuggle with my boy, and take a nap!

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Boss:  "Hi, how are you?"
Me: "Good, and you?"
Boss:  "Good.  So tomorrow is your birthday."
Me: "Yep, it is."
Boss:  "Well, I wanted to give you this in case I don’t see you tomorrow. (holding out envelope) I was going to get you a gift bond, but thought maybe you could use this now.
Me: (opening envelope to find a crisp $100 bill inside) "Wow, thank you so much.  I can definitely use this!"
Boss:  "You’re welcome.  I hope you have a good day tomorrow.  See ya."

I was pretty much in shock.  This will be the 5th birthday I’ve had since I started working here and he has barely even acknowledged any of them previously.  But, it was very thoughtful.  Every time I get really serious about trying to leave and find another job he does something like this that makes me want to stay.

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The last few days have been a bit of a blur.  There was so much going on and everything moved so quickly that I barely had a moment to stop and take a breath.  Here are some of the highlights:

• Friday night, as a release from all the stress of the week, I totally gorged myself on pizza and completely ruined any dieting I had done all week long.  Then I sat back and tried to relax by watching a movie.
• Saturday I spent most of the day running errands and preparing for our trip out of town.  Then my sis and her family came over to visit.
• Sunday was the Super Bowl.  We decided that we should go ahead and have our Super Bowl party as planned.  Once again, I ruined the diet.  But, we had a pretty good time and my brother-in-law was very happy to see the Steelers win.  Plus, my cousin and his wife who had just flown in from Virginia came over which was nice.
• Monday morning I got up early so I could take the dog to the kennel, pack, and get everything ready to leave.  We finally got out of town around 2:00, drove to Springfield and checked into the hotel.
• We then met all of the family for dinner (where I again ruined my diet).  I got to see some of my cousins that I haven’t seen in years.  It was nice to get to visit with them.  It was the first time in probably 10-15 years that we have all been together.
• Tuesday morning was the funeral.  I was rather disappointed with how the service was handled.  It was all very generic, with very little personalization.
• After the funeral, there was a luncheon for the family.  Then we all loaded up and headed back to KC.  We met up again for dinner with my Aunt, Uncle, and cousins one last time before they fly back home.

And now, here I am back at work, trying to get back in the swing of things.  I would much rather be at home in bed trying to catch up on some sleep.  I’m glad I have a short week, but I really need to be well rested by Friday so I’m not a party pooper at my own party!

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My Grandfather passed away lastnight. I got the phone call at 11:38 p.m. It wasn’t shocking news, but waking from a dead sleep I was rather slow to react. He just turned 86 years old in December. We knew it was coming. He has been going downhill for quite a while now but just in the last couple of weeks we found out his kidneys were failing. He was taken to the hospital because he became dehydrated and we found out he also had pneumonia. He returned to his nursing home last Friday but was only expected to make it a few more weeks.

My uncle and his kids made plans to come in from Virginia to visit him one last time. Their flight was for next Friday. It is sad that they didn’t get a chance to see him, although seeing him in the condition he was in may not have left a very good memory.

I don’t know yet when funeral services will be, but I’m guessing it will be Monday. Maybe Tuesday if my uncle can make it in. I’m really hoping for Tuesday as Monday is my mom’s birthday. Even though he was my Dad’s father, my mom was very close to my Grandpa and continued to visit him even after she and my dad split up a few years ago. His death is probably harder on her than on me.

Even though I am sad, in a strange way I also feel relief. My Grandpa was ready to go. He’s been begging God for years to just go ahead and take him. He just was not happy sitting around the nursing home in a wheelchair all day. He never liked to sit still. He always had some kind of project he was working on. A few years ago he had a pretty bad stroke and then a series of small strokes that followed and he lost most of the use of his hands and his ability to read and write. There really just wasn’t much he could do besides sit and stare at the tv all day and that just didn’t satisfy him.

When I was in college I did a project for my geriatrics class where we had to choose an older family member and interview them about their life. I chose my grandpa. I video taped the interview and created a scrapbook of pictures that covered most of his life. I learned a lot about my Grandpa that day. You see, we were never very close. I was extremely close with my grandma when I was younger. She died when I was only ten and after that I had a very difficult time being around my grandpa. So, I really didn’t know very much about him. After the interview, I felt much closer to him. Now, I have the urge to pull out that video and watch it. I want to remember him the way he was then, before the stroke and the old age snuck in and changed him.

I really don’t know how to feel right now. I am sad that he is gone. Yet, at the same time, I am happy that he no longer has to suffer. I know he is going to a better place. I don’t really know what happens to you when you die, but I hope that his spirit will once again be with my Grandma and my uncle who passed before him.

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Sometimes I feel like I need to sit down and blog just to relieve stress. When I first got into blogging I wasn’t really sure what I would do with it. I had heard of blogging and visited a few of the free blogging sites but just didn’t know if I would ever really use it or not. When I finally decided to start a blog of my own I struggled with what to write. Now, my struggle is what not to write. It seems like every time something happens in my life I want to sit down and write about it. Blogging is my release. I never in my wildest dreams would have imagined that I would depend on it so much.

That being said, now it is time to let go.

Do you ever feel like everything is pushing on you at once and that eventually you are just going to explode? That’s how I’ve been feeling the last couple of days. Hubby and I have once again gotten ourselves into a nice financial crunch. Unfortunately, he’s pretty much blaming it on me this time. Finances have been tight since we had Zach, but we have been getting by. Day care and diapers are expensive, but we already knew that. Where I screwed up was with my witholdings from my paycheck. When I was pregnant I changed my witholdings based on the fact that we would be able to claim Zach this year. I figured our taxes this weekend and our federal came out just fine with a pretty decent refund. But, our state did not come out so well. Turns out we owe quite a bit that we weren’t expecting to pay and we don’t have it. I know we have until April to pay it, but there is no extra to save back. Our federal refund was already reserved to pay our city taxes (quite a big chunk) and our property taxes. So, basically, we’re kinda screwed right now.

If I wanted to be responsible, I would cancel all of the birthday festivities that I have planned and save that money for the taxes, but I’m being very selfish. I NEED to celebrate my birthday this year and have a day that is all about me. But, after the birthday celebration, that’s it. No more spending money.

Besides the money issue, there is the lack of time. I know I’ve gone on and on about this but seriously, something has to let up somewhere. I have to find some extra time somehow. Sometimes I just feel like everyone wants something from me and I just can’t give any more. Work has been absolutely crazy and me staying home on Monday didn’t help that. I’ve got web sites that I have promised to do that I can’t even find the time to look at. Then, there is my Grandpa. He is very sick and it is looking like he will only make it a few more days. Even though he lives only a few miles from me, I can’t find the time to go visit him. By the time I get off of work at night, it is too late to go visit him. That breaks my heart.

Then of course there is the I-want-to-work-from-home issue. I had such a good day at home with Zach on Monday that it is making work even harder this week. Plus, his day care provider just accepted another baby that is only 5 1/2 months old, plus her sister who is 2 (maybe 3). That, once again, means less attention for Zach and I’m not really thrilled with that. The last couple of weeks there have been much better, but the two little girls started today and I’m a little worried about how that is all going to work. I still want to look for a back-up day care, but the financial and time issues are really holding me back on that one.

On a good note, I did go get my hair cut last week. My mom decided to pay for it for my birthday present. It is really short, but I think it’s cute. Plus, it is super easy to fix in the morning which really helps. Once my nasty eye infection goes away, maybe I’ll post a picture.

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We’re hoping that if we teach him about guitars early enough he’ll be able to support us when we are old and have lots of wrinkles.

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