Sometimes I feel like I need to sit down and blog just to relieve stress. When I first got into blogging I wasn’t really sure what I would do with it. I had heard of blogging and visited a few of the free blogging sites but just didn’t know if I would ever really use it or not. When I finally decided to start a blog of my own I struggled with what to write. Now, my struggle is what not to write. It seems like every time something happens in my life I want to sit down and write about it. Blogging is my release. I never in my wildest dreams would have imagined that I would depend on it so much.
That being said, now it is time to let go.
Do you ever feel like everything is pushing on you at once and that eventually you are just going to explode? That’s how I’ve been feeling the last couple of days. Hubby and I have once again gotten ourselves into a nice financial crunch. Unfortunately, he’s pretty much blaming it on me this time. Finances have been tight since we had Zach, but we have been getting by. Day care and diapers are expensive, but we already knew that. Where I screwed up was with my witholdings from my paycheck. When I was pregnant I changed my witholdings based on the fact that we would be able to claim Zach this year. I figured our taxes this weekend and our federal came out just fine with a pretty decent refund. But, our state did not come out so well. Turns out we owe quite a bit that we weren’t expecting to pay and we don’t have it. I know we have until April to pay it, but there is no extra to save back. Our federal refund was already reserved to pay our city taxes (quite a big chunk) and our property taxes. So, basically, we’re kinda screwed right now.
If I wanted to be responsible, I would cancel all of the birthday festivities that I have planned and save that money for the taxes, but I’m being very selfish. I NEED to celebrate my birthday this year and have a day that is all about me. But, after the birthday celebration, that’s it. No more spending money.
Besides the money issue, there is the lack of time. I know I’ve gone on and on about this but seriously, something has to let up somewhere. I have to find some extra time somehow. Sometimes I just feel like everyone wants something from me and I just can’t give any more. Work has been absolutely crazy and me staying home on Monday didn’t help that. I’ve got web sites that I have promised to do that I can’t even find the time to look at. Then, there is my Grandpa. He is very sick and it is looking like he will only make it a few more days. Even though he lives only a few miles from me, I can’t find the time to go visit him. By the time I get off of work at night, it is too late to go visit him. That breaks my heart.
Then of course there is the I-want-to-work-from-home issue. I had such a good day at home with Zach on Monday that it is making work even harder this week. Plus, his day care provider just accepted another baby that is only 5 1/2 months old, plus her sister who is 2 (maybe 3). That, once again, means less attention for Zach and I’m not really thrilled with that. The last couple of weeks there have been much better, but the two little girls started today and I’m a little worried about how that is all going to work. I still want to look for a back-up day care, but the financial and time issues are really holding me back on that one.
On a good note, I did go get my hair cut last week. My mom decided to pay for it for my birthday present. It is really short, but I think it’s cute. Plus, it is super easy to fix in the morning which really helps. Once my nasty eye infection goes away, maybe I’ll post a picture.