Weekend In Pictures, originally uploaded by deew27.
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life is what you make it
Month: February 2007
feb_07 190, originally uploaded by deew27.
We got a couple more inches of snow this afternoon so we decided to stay home tonight instead of going to a friend’s house. Turns out, that was a great idea because we had an awesome night with Zach. He’s almost back to his normal self and I am very thankful.
Comments closedHoly hell am I ever ready for the weekend! This week has been just a wee bit stressful and I’m ready to unwind and do some serious cuddling with my boy. Well, that and some reading. And maybe even some snugglin’ with the Hubby if he’s nice.
I really appreciate all of the comments and suggestions on yesterday’s post. The demon child was much better last night which was wonderful because I really needed some time to focus on The O.C. and Grey’s Anatomy. I seriously caught myself gasping for air during the commercial breaks. Both shows were just a little intense.
After some online research, your comments, e-mails, and a conversation with my sister, I’m feeling much better about the whole tantrum, crying, screaming situation. I’m pretty sure this is indeed just a phase and that I’m going to have to show some tough love to get through it. I’m just not so good at that part. I don’t like to see my baby upset and I definitely don’t like to feel the way I’ve been feeling toward him the last couple of days. But seriously, what are you supposed to do with a toddler who doesn’t want to wear pants, socks, or a coat when it’s freezing outside? The fight is painful for both of us.
I’m hoping for a weekend full of relaxation, reading, no power struggles, some craft time for myself, and some time to chill with the Hubby. We may or may not decide to have an evening out, depending on the monster. Whatever the weekend holds, I just hope that it is a little better than the last five days have been.
Comments closedIn my ongoing quest for answers as to why my son has suddenly turned into the type of monster that I often see throwing tantrums at Wal-Mart, I consulted with my friend Amazon this morning. My dear friend is sending some documents my way that will help me find find all the answers I am seeking. I expect to them to arrive tomorrow and by Monday I will know all of the secrets to turning the little demon back into the angelic little boy that I have come to know and love.
If this doesn’t work, then perhaps I will have to consult my other friend, ebay, and see exactly how much toddlers are going for these days.
In all seriousness, I am just about to the end of my rope with Zach right now. He is frustrating me so badly that I’ve actually had to stop and use the “count to ten” method to try to calm myself down before dealing with him. I’ve pretty much ruled out that this attitude is being caused by pain and now am theorizing that his frustration is coming from the fact that he can’t communicate his wants and/or needs with us. I get that when he’s saying “no” he is telling me that something is wrong, but I can offer him the world and he is still not happy.
Being the bad (and extremely frustrated) parent that I am, I have resorted to letting him have his pacifier when he is upset. I can already tell that I’m going to regret that but sometimes amidst the screaming I feel I have no other choice. At this point I’ll do almost anything to save the little piece of sanity I have left. Previous to the last week or so, the pacifier was only being used at bedtime and I was really hoping to get rid of it all together very, very soon. Now, he is suddenly asking for his “noonie”, the hideous name that his dad gave the pacifier, and I am doubting that we’ll ever be able to get rid of it.
The part of this that is breaking my heart right now is that he is totally one hundred percent fine at day care. He gets upset when I leave and cries until he can no longer see my car. But, once I am out of his sight he calms down and is perfectly fine the rest of the day. He eats, plays, and naps just like he is supposed to without any break-downs. As soon as I get there to pick him up he starts crying, screaming, and fighting me with every ounce of energy he has and it pretty much continues until I get him in bed that night. I’m glad he’s happy at day care and all, but it is killing me that he is so unhappy at home right now.
I’m usually pretty confident in my parenting skills, but right now I’m feeling like a total failure. I’ve done everything I can think of and nothing seems to help. So, I’m caving. I’m really hoping I can find some answers or some new techniques to help us get through this phase because I feel like I’m sinking fast over here. I know some of you readers are parents and even some of you that aren’t often have a lot of insight so if you have any suggestions or words of wisdom please feel free to share.
Comments closedAs sappy as it seems to me right now, I am desperately trying to get into the Valentine’s Day mood and so far I have not been successful. For the last two days I have been listening to Heather’s Valentine’s Day Playlist thinking that maybe some tunes would perk me up but no. Still feeling nothing.
I’ve honestly never really been a big fan of the big "day of love". I’m pretty sure it all stems from my first Valentine’s Day as part of an actual couple. When I found out that my sister had to tell my boyfriend to buy me a rose (that was actually being sold at school so it wasn’t like he had to go out of his way or anything) I was pretty much crushed. I couldn’t believe that the love of my life wasn’t romantic enough to think of something that simple.
I have a history of dating or being involved with non-romantic guys. I’m starting to wonder if it is something I do to them or if they were just that way from the beginning. I’ve had three relationships that I considered to be serious-one boyfriend and two marriages-and out of the three not a single one had an ounce of romance in them. Actually that’s not really true. The two that I’m no longer with have gone on to be perfectly romantic husbands to their wives. Maybe it is me after all.
My sister, on the other hand, has an overly romantic husband who constantly dotes on her and buys her roses "just because". I’m not looking for that, but sometimes it would be nice to be surprised or to receive a gift that I didn’t tell someone to buy. (And this is where I totally contradict myself because I told Hubby to absolutely not buy me anything this year for V-day.)
It is no secret really that things haven’t been so hot between the Hubby and I in quite a while. We’re not by any means headed for the divorce lawyers, but I would say there is definitely room for much improvement and I think he would agree. While I understand that life isn’t always going to be peachy, I still find myself dreaming of the days when we had no responsibilities and nothing better to do than lay around in bed all day just being together.
It isn’t so much that time in my life that I want back, but the feelings that I felt then. I want to love without restraint. I want that floaty feeling back that I had when we wanted to spend every single second of every single day together. I want to feel the electricity when we touch. I want to look into his eyes and feel all tingly inside.
I want all of that back but instead we are drowning in a sea of responsibilities, debt, a screaming kid, and lack of time for each other. I wish for just one day that I could throw all of that away and go back to a time when life was more simple.
I guess that’s why I can’t seem to get the lyrics from Cake’s "Love You Madly" out of my head today. I’ve always liked the song but it really seems to be summing up the way I’ve been feeling lately, or at least the way I want to feel. If this works the way it is supposed to, you should be able to click the play button below to listen to the song or you can check out the lyrics below the fold.
**So the player doesn’t seem to be working and I’m not sure what I need to do to make it work so just go read the lyrics. I apologize for publishing a million times for those of you using a feed reader. But now I’m publishing again because I think I finally got it working. Enjoy!**
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I wanted nothing more than to stay at home with Zach today. When I picked him up from day care yesterday I found out that he had been running a low-grade fever all day. While the fever itself wasn’t really a big deal, I felt bad because I could tell that he just wasn’t feeling well. The last couple of evenings and mornings have been absolutely miserable for both of us. Zach cries and cries and gets so worked up that I eventually give in and give him a pacifier to help calm him down. Once the pacifier is in his mouth, he will lay down on my chest and just moan over and over again. We sat that way for over an hour last night before I was finally able to put him to bed and it started up again as soon as he woke up this morning.
The sky opened up and dumped a bunch of snow on us last night, but it wasn’t enough that I couldn’t get out so I bundled us up and took Zach to day care. I didn’t get out the door until almost 9:00 which is pretty late considering I usually try to be at day care by at least 8:00. Admittedly, I was moving a little slow to avoid the heavy traffic but it really took a long time to get Zach settled down enough that I could get his coat on him. He fought me every step of the way this morning and by the time we left I was so extremely frustrated.
I hate not knowing what is going on with him. Either he’s still feeling crappy from his mystery virus or his ears are still aching from his ear infection. He has been on antibiotics since Thursday so the ear infection should be starting to get better. I even checked in his mouth to see if he’s getting started on his next set of molars but didn’t see any signs of that. I don’t have any other clues but I’m not sure I can handle another night of him screaming his head off and crying. I don’t mind the cuddling part but I just want my happy little boy back.
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