Month: April 2006

Housekeeping, Money, & Miscellaneous

Published by dee on April 20, 2006

First of all, a couple of general housekeeping things:

I have finally decided to come out of the closet a little bit and start using the name that most of you know me by anyway, dee. I’m getting a bit tired of the hardtoimagine name. Even though there is some deep meaning and lots of good memories tied to it, I think it is time to become a little less anonymous and just be myself. I feel good about this for now, until someone that I don’t want reading finds my site anyway. But, that is the risk of putting it out on the web. It is not like I hide it very well anyway with all the pictures I post! I will still keep the old name on tblog for those of you that read there also.
I’m sure you’ve all noticed by now, but when I changed the site around, I also added some ads. I thought long and hard about doing this because ads on blog sites have always annoyed me. But, given my current financial situation, it was a choice of trying to find a way to fund my web sites or give them up. I’m not really wanting to give them up, so now there are ads. I’m hoping that it will at least help a little bit with my hosting costs. I know at least one of my web sites will be closing down soon because it just never became what I wanted it to be and I don’t have the time to get it there right now. So, please feel free to click away on those ads and help me keep this site running because out of the 4 sites I run, this one is the most important to me.

Now, on to the money and miscellaneous parts. I was sitting there lastnight staring at my budget spreadsheet and trying to figure out where in the heck all the money is going to these days. I figured out that we are currently spending about $400-500 a month more than what we are bringing in. That is an estimate because hubby’s paychecks always differ in the amount. His checks should be going up soon because they are hitting their busy season and he should be getting a lot of over time. That will make up for the difference over the summer months, but when we hit fall, we’ll be in the same boat we are in now. Hopefully we can get some things paid off before then so it won’t be quite so bad. The thing that is really killing us right now is day care. That really makes up the difference of what we are behind each month. What really stinks about this whole situation is that I am realizing that there is no way in hell we should even be thinking about having another kid. And, I had just kind of decided that I was going to be ready to start trying again in June.

Then, while I was sitting there contemplating this whole situation, my brother calls me and tells me about this great employee discount that his company has been offered through Dell. Apparently through the end of April, they can get 35% off, plus another 12% off of Dell computers. He called to tell me because I’ve been questioning him about laptops lately because I desperately need to replace mine. It is slowly dying and I’m afraid that it is just going to give out any day now. If I bought one through Dell, right now, I could get almost half off. I want this so bad I was practically in tears because I know I can’t buy anything else right now. Next to Zach, my laptop is probably the most important thing in my life. I know I can live without it, but I will always be upset that I missed this opportunity.

Brother also hooked me up with the new Tool cd. I’m not really a huge Tool fan, but I don’t mind listening to them on occasion. I haven’t even heard the whole thing yet, but so far it sounds pretty good.

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Civic Duty Completed

Published by dee on April 18, 2006

My jury duty is officially completed. I did not get chosen for the jury, so I basically just got a free day off work and had to do a bunch of sitting around. Not so bad really. I actually got to read quite a bit of the book that I started way back in July. Now I’m to the point of no return where I can’t put the book down until I finish it. I almost wish I would have been chosen just so I could sit around and read during the breaks.

The best part of my day was lunch. We ended up getting almost an hour and a half for lunch and it was an absolutely beautiful day outside. I grabbed a quick lunch accross the street from the courthouse and then spent the rest of the time listening to Pearl Jam and walking around downtown. I was really upset that I didn’t have my camera with me because it would have been the perfect opportunity to take some great pictures. I snapped a few with my cameraphone, but they’re not even close to what I could have taken with a real camera.

The trickiest part of the day was navigating my way back home. I absolutely hate driving downtown because I always manage to get lost. I do fine getting where I need to be, but almost always get turned around when I try to leave. One way streets are not my friends. I didn’t get home exactly the way I had planned, but I did make it without getting totally lost.

It really wasn’t a bad experience, but I’m glad that I have another three years before I have to do it again.

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Reader Survey Numero Uno

Published by dee on April 17, 2006

Tomorrow I will be MIA around here because I have jury duty. Blah! I’m really not looking forward to it at all. I’m sure the $6 pay will not even cover the cost of downtown parking, much less my lunch. Hopefully I will get dismissed right away and be able to go home and play hookey the rest of the day. My dad’s wife is a lawyer and she tells me just to raise my hand for every question. We’ll see what happens.

Since I’m not going to be around, I’m leaving you all a homework assignment while I’m gone.

I totally stole this idea from Dad Gone Mad so please forgive me if you wander over here. I just thought it would be fun and they say imitation is flattery, right?

Here’s a short survey for my readers (yep, all two of you). Please answer the following questions in the comments:

What is your drink of choice?
What is spinning in your cd player (or on the Ipod) right now?
Describe the last photo you took.
What is your favorite spot on the web?
How much time a day do you spend reading blogs?
What three cds could you not live without?
What is the best book you’ve ever read?
If you were throwing a dinner party, what would you serve?
What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
What is the last thing you do before you go to bed?
What is your opinion of required jury duty?

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Happy Easter!

Published by dee on April 17, 2006

Holidays are so much more fun when you have kids (or in my case, a kid). I have always loved Easter, but the years in between when I was a kid and when I had a kid of my own just weren’t quite as much fun. We spent the entire weekend with my sister and her family and had a really great time.

Friday night we attended the Good Friday service at our church. It is always a rather somber service, but you certainly couldn’t have figured that out by the noise our kids were making. Between Zach, my two nephews, and the other little boy behind us you could have sworn you were standing in the middle of a playground during recess. They were all hyped up for some reason. After church my sister overheard a couple of older church ladies being negative nancies and commenting on the noisy kids. It’s a good thing the preacher doesn’t seem to mind.

After church, my dad went with us to our new favorite eating establishment, Granite City Brewery. The food there is great and from what I hear the beer is too. Too bad I can’t stand the stuff. After dinner we went back to my sister’s house, where my mom met up with us and watched movies until we were all falling asleep.

Saturday morning we took the boys to church for the annual Easter egg hunt. They all seemed to have a good time. Zach figured out how to pick up the eggs pretty quickly, but every time we made him put his eggs in his basket, he got really upset and started crying. He didn’t quite get the concept that he had to put one egg down before he could pick up another one.

After the egg hunt, we had lunch and then went bowling. It was interesting trying to bowl while passing two babies back and forth in between turns. I think I bowled the worst two games I have ever bowled in my life. My 6-year-old nephew even had a higher score than I did. Of course, he had the benefit of the bumpers though (that’s what I keep telling myself). I don’t even remember what my score was now because I’ve been trying to erase the memory from my head ever since it happened.

Sunday morning we got up and went to church. Apparently the Easter Bunny decided to visit the boys at my dad’s house, because when we got there after church, there were Easter baskets and eggs everywhere. Again, Zach didn’t really like putting the eggs in his basket, so the other two boys ended up with most of the loot. Zach didn’t seem to mind though, he was much more interested in the toys and books that were in his basket.

We had a nice dinner and a relaxing afternoon at my dad’s house. Zach and I even got a quick nap in. Then we headed back home and back to reality where there were dirty dishes and a ton of laundry to be done. I sure do miss the days when I got the Monday after Easter off and could sit around being lazy and eating chocolate all day.

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Come Back

Published by dee on April 14, 2006

I’ve been thinking a lot the last few days about my brother-in-law, Josh. On Wednesday, I attended the funeral of a co-worker’s father. I had only met him a couple of times, but went to the funeral to offer my condolences to the family. I honestly wasn’t sure how I would feel once I got there, but as I kind of expected, it was really hard for me. The second I walked up to the grave site, the memories of Josh’s funeral came flooding back.

I have attended lots of funerals in my lifetime. I have lost several family members and a few friends along the way. But, up until Josh died, I had never been to a funeral where someone wasn’t ill or died of natural causes. I had never been to a funeral for someone so young. Josh’s death touched me and made me feel things that I have never had to feel before. I still don’t really know how to process the whole thing.

What bothers me the most, is that I don’t understand how someone so full of life and with so much to live for could feel like he had nothing to live for. He has a beautiful son who thinks the world of him and a family that loves him so much, yet he felt like he had nobody in the world. I don’t understand it and I guess I never will.

Some days it still seems so unreal. We go through our day to day routine and don’t think about him. It is like he is still down there in Louisiana doing his thing and next time we visit he will be there. Then suddenly the picture of him laying in his casket floods my mind and I know it is real. The feeling of sadness washes over my body with such intensity.

The lyrics to "Come Back" from the new Pearl Jam cd (yeah, I know, again with the Pearl Jam. I’m obsessed, ok?) keep rolling through my head. It may be that the lyrics were simply written about love lost, but to me, it is about death. To me, this will always be Josh’s song.

Come Back by Pearl Jam

If I keep holding out will the light shine through?
Under this broken roof, it’s only rain that I feel I’ve been wishing out the days…come back

I have been planning out all that I’d say to you Since you slipped away. Know that I still remain true I’ve been wishing out the days….

Please say, that if you hadn’t of gone now I wouldn’t have lost you another way From wherever you are….come back

And these days, they linger on
And in the night as I’m waiting for
The real possibility I may meet you in my dream I go to sleep

If I don’t fall apart will my memories stay clear So you had to go and I had to remain here

But the strangest thing to date
So far away
And yet you feel so close
And I’m not gonna question it any other way

There must be an open door
For you to come back

And the days, they linger on
And every night, what I’m waiting for
Is the real possibility I may meet you in my dream

And sometimes you’re here and you’re talking back to me Come the morning I could swear you’re next to me And it’s okay.

It’s okay.
It’s okay.

I’ll be here
Come back
Come back

I’ll be here

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Flirting With Disaster

Published by dee on April 13, 2006

Ever since I discovered that new Target store, I have been living life a little dangerously. I can’t seem to stay away. Today I stopped in just to see if I could find a pair of cheap little shoes to go with Zach’s Easter outfit. That is all I needed to get. Well, I didn’t find any shoes I liked for him, but I did find some other stuff. You know that neat little $1 area at the front of the store? They just happened to have a whole bunch of sports themed stuff that would work just perfectly in Zach’s bedroom. They had the light switch and electrical outlet covers, a little set of hooks to put on his wall, picture frames, a football shaped sign for his door, and even knobs that will go on his dresser drawers. After grabbing a drink and paying for a couple of $1 items my mom picked up, I got out of there for about $25.

Now, you might think that a $25 purchase is not so bad considering all that I bought. The problem is that I really didn’t have the extra $25 to spend. It might not have been so bad if I hadn’t bought Zach’s new adorable little Red Sox hat off of e-bay this morning. You see, I have a bit of a shopping problem. I LOVE to shop. I especially LOVE to shop when I think that I’m getting a great bargain. This is why Wal-Mart, Target, and Old Navy are my favorite stores. I almost always shop off of the clearance racks and end up with a really good deal or two. The problem is that my good deals tend to add up eventually and before I know it I’ve spent way more money than I planned on spending.

Today I spent $25 plus $13 and some change. But, I still have to get Zach some shoes for Easter because he has outgrown the ones he has and we passed them down to his (6 months older) cousin. Plus, I was really hoping to get myself some new sandals and a couple of bras that actually fit (I didn’t realize just how much room that milk was taking up until I stopped the breastfeeding). This does not work so well into my trying to scrimp and save money plan. Somehow I have got to get my spending under control, get some debts paid off and start saving again.

In the near future, some of our baby expenses will go down. Zach is eating mostly table foods now so I don’t have to buy as much baby food. Hopefully soon I won’t have to buy any. We have cut down one bottle of formula a day and replaced it with whole milk which seems to be going well. Over the next couple of months I plan to phase out the formula completely. Plus, when he turns a year old, his day care costs will go down by $10 a week, which doesn’t seem like much, but will make a difference. And, he is pretty well set for summer clothes now (in three different sizes) so unless he hits a major growth spurt I shouldn’t have to buy any more clothes until fall.

Now the only problem is disciplining myself. I’m not so good at that. I do fine as long as I don’t have to go to any stores, but the second I step in Target or Wal-mart to pick up a package of diapers, I lose control. Is this normal or am I just sick in the head?

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