Four years ago today I married the man that I planned to spend the rest of my life with. We met each other just a little over a year before that by an accidental (or maybe not so accidental) bump on the dance floor. There seemed to be an almost instant spark between us and we quickly jumped into a relationship.
There were a few little bumps in that first year that we had to work through, but on our wedding day we didn’t care about anything other than making a permanent commitment to each other. It wasn’t a fancy wedding as it was the second for both of us, but our families were there and it was exactly how we wanted it to be.
We’ve had our share of ups and downs, as any relationship has, but the last year has probably been the most difficult. There have been times when I have sat back and wondered how I let myself get into this situation. Then there are other times when I am reminded of why I fell in love with him in the first place.
My husband is far from perfect. I am far from perfect. But, something between us just works. I have made the decision to make sure that it works between us and am determined to put forth as much effort as I need to in order to make it work. I realized this week that I want to make it better and that I’m the one that is going to have to make it better through my attitude and my efforts.
A week ago, I wasn’t sure that there was enough of a relationship left to salvage. We have both changed so much that it seemed nearly impossible. Today, on our anniversary, I caught a glimpse of the man that I married four years ago and somewhere behind all of those walls that I have built up, my heart skipped a little. There is still a lot of work to do to get back to the way it was, but I think we might be heading back in the right direction…if I can keep up my end of the bargain. Somewhere, deep down, I really do love that man.
I’m actually looking forward to spending some time with him alone tonight, even if it is only for a couple hours at dinner.