Do you ever have one of those moments where a feeling just hits you so strongly it is almost overwhelming? I had several of those this weekend. They may seem insignificant to others, or even go by completely unnoticed, but to me they hold so much meaning.
Saturday morning Zach and I got up and headed up North to our church. The church preschool was having their end of the year picnic and invited all of the kids from the church to attend. My sister and her kids came as well. There was a band, led by another local minister, that performed for the kids, lots of picnic food, and then playing on the playground. At one point, while our kids were all playing together in the sandbox I looked up and just felt such a rush of love for them all. I love that they all love each other so much.
Later that night, we went to a party hosted by one of my sister’s good friends (I suppose I could claim her as my own friend too, but I never would have met her had it not been for my sister). As I sat there chatting with some of the girls I realized just how much things have changed between me and hubby over the last few years. It used to be that at social functions we were practically attached at the hip. We rarely left each others’ side. Saturday night I barely saw him at all. As I was sitting there talking to my friends, I couldn’t help but miss him a little bit. It was both a good and bad moment for me. It was good because it showed me just how much I have come out of my shell in the last few years. I didn’t need him there to protect and take care of me. I conversed and enjoyed myself without feeling completely awkward in a social setting. I may have finally learned to be a little independent. Yet, in the same moment, I saw just how disconnected we have become from each other. It made me miss those days when we couldn’t leave each others’ side for a moment. I kind of wish we could find our way back there.
Sunday Zach woke up with a stuffy/runny nose and a cough. By lunch time I could tell he was miserable. He didn’t improve as the day wore on and I ended up having to stay home with him on Monday. Since all he wanted to do was lounge around, I unfolded the futon in the living room and we snuggled up to watch Curious George together. I wrapped my arms around him and he held my hand. It was one of those moments that I wish could have lasted forever. I felt such an intense love for him in that moment. I am still so amazed at times that I can love a person as much as I love him.