For some reason I’ve been a little bit emotional lately so sit back and bear with me.
In the last week or so I have been catching myself just sitting there doing nothing but watching my son. I watch him as he plays with his toys or teases the dog by holding his chew toy just out of reach. I watch him as he pulls the drawer out of his toy bin so he can reach in and grab the specific toy that he wants. He knows exactly where each toy is and how to get to it.
I watch as he walks up to the tv, pushes the power button, then runs away and looks at his daddy, just waiting for the reaction that he knows is coming. I watch as he walks up to his dad, arms outstretched, hugs him, then goes back to playing.
I watch as he points to anything and everything within his sight with curiosity, wanting to touch it and explore it to see what it does. I watch him point to pictures of family and loved ones around our house and then wait for me to tell him the name for each person. I watch him as he climbs up onto a chair or on the couch, sitting like a little man, trying to copy what Mommy and Daddy are doing.
I listen as he chuckles and then releases his beautiful, boisterous laugh that I love so much. I have never in my life heard a more wonderful sound.
Before I became a parent, I read. I read and read and read all the parenting magazines, the books, and tons of parenting blogs. I figured the more I read the better prepared I would be. But no amount of reading, advice, or preparations could ever prepare me for the deep, deep, love I feel for this child. I can’t describe how it makes me feel when he reaches out to me for a hug, or when he cries and there is nothing I can do to console him, or when I brought him to bed with me lastnight and he reached out to put his little hand on my face trying to pull me closer to him.
Just sitting back and watching him as he moves through the room can almost bring me to tears at times. The emotions that surge through me are so powerful. I have never in my life loved anything so deeply. He is my life, my world. He is my everything. I never want to know a world without him in it.
