Category: Kids & Parenting

Tuesdays With Caleb

Published by dee on January 6, 2015

Perhaps it was all of the sleep that I managed to get in over the holidays, or maybe it is just the time of year, but I’m suddenly feeling the need to write, to photograph, to be creative. I’ve been knitting like crazy (3 hats and 2 scarfs in the last week!), and I’m really missing the feel of my camera in my hands.

When I think over the last year or so I realize how little focus I have had on my photography. I had a blast at Shutterfest, my first photography conference, last April. I came home energized and full of ideas and things that I couldn’t wait to try. Then life happened and my focus went back to just getting through the daily grind while photography took a back seat. I took plenty of photos, great ones even, but I don’t feel like I improved much.

One of my biggest regrets over the last year is not taking the time to just photograph the every day. Sure, I have lots of dark, blurry, iphone camera shots, but I don’t have a lot of great photos that really tell the story of our lives this past year. I’ve gotten lazy about taking my big camera out to capture those moments. When I scroll through my Facebook and Instagram feeds I find myself feeling envious of the great photos that are being taken during the simple moments by my friends. I think how precious those memories will be some day when they look back at the timeline of their lives. I realized even more how much I have missed documenting when I looked back at some old photos of my own this week. The curls on my toddler daughter’s head (that are now as straight as can be), photos of Zach learning to walk, playing with a caterpillar in the front yard. I don’t want to miss those moments.

As I watched Caleb play today, in the amazing early afternoon sun shining through our living room window, I realized how much I am missing of these days (even though I spend more time with him than I was able to with either of the other kids). I decided then that I wanted to commit to capturing more of his childhood. I’ve been thinking about starting a new photo project this year to help keep me focused on improving my skills, but a 365 project is too daunting to take on right now. I’ve been thinking about a selfie project, but I would probably never complete that either. However, a project featuring one of my favorite subjects might just be doable. So, I decided today that I will attempt a “Project 52”, posting one photo a week (at least) of Caleb and his shenanigans.

I’m going to call it “Tuesdays With Caleb” as Tuesdays are one of the days that we get to spend together every week – just the two of us. I’m super creative with the titling, see?

Today I took five minutes out just to shoot him playing. I love that he went and got his little toy camera out and was taking some shots of me as well. I will most likely post a few of my favorites here and at least one shot on Instagram/FB each week, on Tuesday even, if I can keep up. Hopefully, this will help me hold myself accountable as well as help me practice and improve my skills as the year goes by.

Play time with Caleb

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Caleb

Published by dee on November 7, 2014

This kid.
caleb-1 He is the light at the end of the tunnel after a hard day. He is also generally the source of my biggest frustrations. He’s all love and cuddles one second and then a big pile of tantruming goo the next. He is two, more terrible than not most days. He is brilliant and funny and ornery and kind and curious and is growing up way too fast.

caleb-2 Today was one of those hard days. I had a lot of work to get done and not really enough time to do it all. It was a stressful and emotional week. Caleb had a rough night with very little sleep and I was dreading the day before it even began. It was a work at home day for me, which means it was just Caleb and I all day long.

caleb-3 He needed attention…constantly. I needed to focus on my work. He needed snacks, a change of clothes and a bath (potty training is fun!), wanted mommy to play, and then was begging for lunch at 10:00 a.m. When he finished his sandwich, he said, “Mommy downstairs take pictures?” (which is also code for the one thing mommy rarely says no to). Did I mention how smart he is?

So we took a break. We went outside, snapped a few pictures, checked out the berries growing in our yard, walked around, made a leaf pile, and played. He of course screamed and fought me when it was time to come in, but those few minutes were a much needed break. The afternoon was filled with more neediness and frustration (for both of us), but we made it through.

caleb-4 It won’t be long before this time with him will be over. He’ll be off to school and I’ll be left here in the too quiet house. I am so thankful for a job that allows me to work part of my time at home. I love that I get to have that extra time with him that I never was able to have with the other two kids, even though some days are so very hard.

There are a million things on my plate that I should be doing instead, but I wanted to write this down. I want to remember it all – the good and the bad.

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Kindergarten Graduation

Published by dee on May 27, 2014

evie's kindergarten graduation

The school year is nearly done. The kids have three days left (thank you, snow days!) before summer officially begins. Zach and Evie have both had a really great year this year. Evie is reading like a champ, surprising me every day with all of the big words she can read. Zach has excelled well beyond his 3rd grade level this year. We’re busy scrambling around with all kinds of end-of-year activities, but the most notable was Evie’s Kindergarten graduation. I put together this little video of photos and video of her graduation and wanted to share it with you. It isn’t perfect, but it is my first shot at combining still shots with video. Enjoy!

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The End of an Era

Published by dee on August 1, 2013

(Before I get started, if you are reading this on my actual site, I apologize for the hideous look. I started playing with my template and then ran out of time to finish it…a few weeks ago. I’ll get around to it someday.)

Caleb has officially weaned himself. It has been eight days since he last breastfed (though we’ve been down to only a bedtime feeding for a while). It became apparent a few weeks ago that he was no longer satisfied with simply snuggling and nursing. He wanted to take his milk and roam around the room, which didn’t work so well when his milk was attached to my boob. I’ve been fighting the gymnastics and biting for a while now, so in a way I’m glad that he has decided to make this break. He will still occasionally tug on my shirt, but if I ask if he would like a cup, he’ll run to the kitchen and happily take a sippy cup with milk or water in it.

I have mixed feelings about all of this. On one hand, I’ve been ready to move on and have my body to myself again, but on the other, I already miss the snuggling and bonding, and the ability to instantly comfort him simply by lifting my shirt. And then there is the whole part of me that keeps saying, but he’s my BABYYYYYYYY! Not only that, but he’s my last baby. I’ll never get to experience that kind of bonding again. I know not everyone has a good experience with breastfeeding, but for me it was just absolutely lovely (not to say that I didn’t have some struggles, but overall it was good). I loved that I could provide for my children in that way and I am a little sad that it has come to an end. I spent over three years of my life (39 months total) nursing my babies – Caleb being the longest at 17 months. They each weaned themselves when they were ready. It just seems hard to believe that that part of my life is now done.

Caleb is a full-on walking, talking, opinionated toddler. Evie starts kindergarten in a couple of weeks, and Zach already has the attitude of a pre-teen at only eight years old. My babies are growing up, and while there are benefits to this (they are finally starting to do some chores!), right now I’m a little nostalgic for those baby years. I truly have no desire to have another baby. Our family is 100% complete as it is, but I’m still a little sad that I’ll never have the experience of holding my own newborn baby again. I’ll just have to find someone else’s baby to hold now and then.

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Caleb – 16 Months

Published by dee on June 21, 2013

Dear Caleb,

My dear, sweet, loving, cuddly, little miracle surprise baby, I love you with all my heart. I’ll admit that when I found out I was pregnant with you I was scared. I wasn’t sure how I would manage to keep up with another baby, but I fell in love with you and all of those worries went away. I honestly cannot imagine what our family would be without you in it any more. You truly do complete us. It melts my heart to see the way your big brother and sister adore you. I just can’t see it being any other way.

However, the last few months have been extremely challenging for all of us. You see, you started walking, and with that new found ability to move (fast!) you also gained a new sense of independence…and attitude. I’m really proud of all of the new advances you are making, I really am. I just need you to stop every once in a while and take a break from touching and climbing and jumping off of ALL THE THINGS! You are quite a force to be reckoned with these days and you are wearing this old mama out.

There really is no containing you any more, aside from strapping you in a car seat, which causes screams that bring the neighbors running to see what is wrong (not really, but I’m surprised they haven’t yet). You have already managed to climb over the side of your crib, have nearly gotten over the side of the pack ‘n’ play, have escaped your “baby jail”, and figured out how to open doors. This week you also managed to escape from the seat of a shopping cart (while strapped in – thankfully I turned back around at just the right second) and the stroller (while also strapped in). Oh, and also the high chair. When you are done eating you are outta there, one way or another. The only thing you have not managed to break and/or escape from (as long as it is properly closed) is the living room gate, but I’m sure that time is coming.

Once you have managed to escape from whatever latest contraption we were trying to contain you in, you are into E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G! I am not exaggerating. You seriously have to have someone 1-on-1 with you at all times to keep you from getting into things that you shouldn’t. Perhaps I have not baby proofed as well as I should have because I got a little relaxed with the other two being older, but pretty much if there is anything within your sight that you want, you will find a way to get to it. I have found you standing on top of tables, on top of the back of the sofa and chairs in the living room, and even standing on toys so you could reach just a little farther. There is no stopping you.

Your other favorite pastime seems to be annoying your older brother. One of your favorite things to do is to turn the TV off when he is mid-show, or even worse, in a crucial part of a video game. You also constantly grab his glasses from his face (and mine) which gets old really quick. He’ll let you slide a couple times, but after that he gets a little angry. You better watch out because paybacks are hell, and boy do you have it coming! It’s a good thing that he loves you so much, because there is no one else he would be so patient with.

And can we just talk about this sleep thing for a minute? It took me 13 months, yes THIRTEEN MONTHS, to finally get you sleeping through the night in your own bed. I swear the first morning I woke up and realized you were still asleep in your crib I heard a choir of angels singing above me. There were 8 weeks or so of you doing this pretty much every night, with a few exceptions while you were trying to cut those horrid molars, but hey, that’s understandable. Then came vacation. You actually did amazingly well while we were out of town, despite the crazy schedule, sporadic naps, and getting to bed late pretty much every night. You ended up in bed with mom and dad a couple of times, but it was a nice big king size bed and there was plenty of room. The trouble happened when we came home.

Once we arrived back home from our trip, you forgot how to sleep without me attached to you. In fact, you pretty much forgot how to do anything without me attached to you. I can barely put you down without you screaming (unless there is food visible and within your reach, anyway). Bedtime is horrible. You scream and scream and scream until I finally give in because I’m afraid you are going to scream your lungs up. Eventually, I can get you to sleep by nursing you (which we were nearly done with before vacation but you have now let me know in no uncertain terms that the boobies are still yours) and then put you down in your bed. Some nights that works and you sleep through most of the night before the screaming commences, but others it doesn’t. Those nights are the ones when you wake up just as I try to lay you down and I wonder what on Earth ever possessed me to want to have these little screaming things called children. Ugh, mommy is tired, honey. So, you’ve ended up back in my bed more times that you should have lately and the end seems to be nowhere in sight. Seriously, mommy is tired. Sixteen months of not sleeping (shy of those 8 precious, glorious, weeks) is just too many. I need to sleep and so do you.

I know you have a lot going on. You are growing like a weed – 34 inches (>98th percentile – off the dang growth charts!) tall, and nearly 25 pounds. Plus, you just cut your first 4 molars and 4 incisors all seemingly at once – a total of 16 teeth! Besides all of the walking, climbing, and exploring, you are trying really hard to learn how to talk. You have several words that you use, but you spend a lot of time right now pointing and making sounds that we are supposed to translate into words. Your favorite word seems to be “daddy” as you go around saying it over and over and over again all day long. Sadly, when he tries to pay attention to you, you push him away. You can also say mommy, zach, evie, hi, hello, please, this, bopbop, yay-ya, something that sounds similar to caleb, and many other words that you repeat when you hear them. You also have started dancing whenever you hear music. I love that you are doing this and often turn music on just so I can watch you. It is the cutest thing. We used to have lots of dance parties in our house and I kind of miss them.

It may seem like I’m complaining a lot, but the truth is, I really just want to remember every little bit of your babyness. It is flying by so fast. I feel like I miss out on so many moments with you because I’m busy working, or busy with your brother and sister. I struggle to find the time to just sit and snuggle, which is why when you wrap your arms and legs around me and won’t let go as I’m trying to put you to bed I don’t struggle with you very long. We go right back to my chair and snuggle until you fall asleep in my arms. I know just how quickly these days will pass and you will no longer want to sit and snuggle with mom. You will be grown before I know it, though I hope you’ll still come back for a hug now and then. Until then, I’ll cherish ever minute of time with you I can get.

I love you so much, my little monkey!

Love,

Mama

p.s. Sorry for the lack of photos. You don’t hold still long enough for me to take them anymore!

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