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Category: Confessions

Quarantine Confessions

I’m sure by now we are all realizing life is a little different these days. Maybe some of you are like me and have found yourself doing things that you never imagined you would do. TikTok anyone?!?  Maybe you are even a little bit embarrassed about those things. Well, for the sake of solidarity, I’m going to share a list of things I’ve caught myself doing out of sheer boredom during this social distancing quarantine that I most likely would have never done otherwise.

  • I streamed the entire five seasons of Awkward in less than 2 weeks – often staying up until 2 a.m. or later to get in just *one more* episode.
  • After finishing Awkward, I started in on Vampire Diaries with the same late night streaming behavior. It is taking a little longer – I’m only on season 4, but Evie has now caught up with me so we are watching the rest of it together.
  • I insisted that my husband let me mow the lawn so I could count it as exercise even though he offered to do it instead. I also maybe told him not to buy the new deck he needs for the riding mower so I have to keep push mowing.
  • I’ve spent way too much money online shopping – mostly on clothing of the athleisure variety. I mean, if I’m gonna run and work out I have to look cute, right? Now to get back to those workouts….
  • I got sucked into TikTok watching videos of my nieces and then found myself still there more than two hours later scrolling through the “For You” feed of random people. I am now obsessed with and have followed the stream of a pet monkey who receives a ton of fan mail.
  • I bought my kid a new Nintendo Switch that he has been begging for since Christmas, then proceeded to “borrow” it all night and played Tetris 99 for over 3 hours until my hands were cramping and the battery died. I may have then bought another Switch the next day so I could have my own because TETRIS and who wants to share? (Thank you stimulus check!)
  • I actually said, “I’m so bored!” I honestly can’t remember the last time I uttered those words. Life generally keeps me so busy that boredom is not an option.
  • I got bored enough to fire up Fortnite on my switch and *tried* to play even though I had no idea what I was doing. Then my 8-year-old tried to teach me what to do and got embarrassed when I could’t hang. I think I’ll stick to Tetris…or maybe check out Animal Crossing.

I have actually spent some time doing things I’m not embarrassed about too. Some things I may even be a little bit proud of myself for doing – and finishing. I’m really great at starting projects, but not always so great at finishing them.

  • I started crocheting a “Quarantine Blanket” several weeks ago after the stay at home orders started and I finished it last night. It didn’t exactly turn out the way it was supposed to because I crocheted it way too tight to match the pattern and I ran out of one of my yarn colors a bit too soon. But, since the purpose was to use up yarn I already had, I can call it a success. I’m glad to finish it because I found another pattern I want to start on.
  • With the help of a tutorial I found on facebook, a bunch of old scrap material, and some leftover elastic (from back when I had a baby girl to sew cute things for), I sewed up some face masks for the family. Now that they are becoming mandatory to wear many places, I figured we should have some on hand.
  • I also completed a fun painting project. My friend posted about an online painting party she was hosting with some sample projects and I fell in love with one she posted of the Kansas City skyline. She put together kits with all the supplies needed. I missed the zoom party she hosted, but she included enough directions I could figure it out and I think it turned out really good!Painting of a heart with Kansas City skyline

There are a lot of other things I probably should be doing with my time, but it has actually been a lot of fun to just slow down and enjoy some silly time-waster type things.

So, what have you been up to?

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My Why

my kids - my why

They are my why. Because I want to be there for them. Because I want to capture their childhood. Because I want to support them. Because I want to push them and encourage them to be who they are. Because I never want them to settle for less. Because I want them to dream. Because I want them to know that if you work hard enough and keep trying, even when you fail, eventually those dreams can and will come true. They are my why…for everything.

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Brutal Honesty

A while back I decided that I was ready to make some changes in my life.  I’ve made this decision many times, but I start and stop and eventually I completely fail.  For one reason or another, I always find an excuse to stop trying.  It’s too hard.  I’m too stressed.  Life got in the way.  I don’t have time.  I’m the queen of excuses when it comes to these particular goals and quite frankly, I’m just tired of it.  It is time to get serious.  I want to get more fit.  I want to lose some of the weight that I carry around.  I want to be healthier for myself, my kids, and my husband.  I want to be a better version of me.

I wanted to start blogging my progress, but not here.  I was tired of telling everyone about my failures when it comes to fitness, so I did it privately on a separate blog.  I wanted the accountability, but I didn’t want to tell everyone I knew when I failed…again.  Since I started the fitness blog, I’ve started and stopped twice – the first time because my knees were killing me, the second because life events happened that really were out of my control.  But today I started over.  This pretty much sums up what I think about it:

I’m beginning to think that I should plead temporary insanity and call it a day today.  I decided to start the Couch to 5K program and nearly killed myself before 7:00 a.m. this morning.

If you want to read along, you can follow my progress at A Better Version Of Me, my fitness blog.  I don’t plan to say much about it here, but at some point I may decide to import the entries over.  For now I just need to keep that space separated from this space.  I’m trying to be brutally honest about everything over there and sometimes that is harder than others.  This here is my happy place and I want it to stay that way, therefore, the separation.  As I said, if you want to follow along over there, please do.  I can use all of the encouragement I can get!

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Confessions: The Scout Signs Taunt Me

Over the last couple of years, Kansas City has developed the Scout system for traffic.  Basically, it consists of huge overhead signs along the highway that tell you when there are major accidents, road closings, etc.  When there are no accidents or other important messages being broadcast, it gives you a time estimate for the next couple of major exits.  I’m sure they have similar systems in other cities, but this is the one I know.  I’ve been pretty impressed with it since it started up.  It even makes the drive home a little more entertaining sometimes.

For instance, when I’m driving home, I often see on the sign “470/71 10 min” or “State Line 4 min”.  It is a nice service in a way because it helps you gauge what traffic is like and how long it is going to take you to get home.  But, for people like me with a competitive nature, it becomes more of a challenge.  When I see that it is going to take me 4 minutes to hit the State Line exit, I want to make it in 3 minutes, just to prove the sign wrong.  If it says it will take me 10 minutes to 470/71, I want to make it in 8.  When I do actually beat the sign (which is most of the time) I’m actually proud of myself.  I feel like I’ve accomplished something.

The only thing I really hate about the Scout signs is when they say things like “470/71 40 min.”  Then I might as well just sink down into my seat and crank up the music because I’m going to be sitting still for a while.

Surely I can’t be the only one that feels this way.  Do the Scout signs taunt you too or do you just sit back and take them for what they are?


Confessions: The Book Collector

When I was a kid I loved to read. Whether it was my beloved Baby-Sitters Club or the latest from Christopher Pike, I just couldn’t get enough. A trip to the book store was just as much fun as a trip down the toy aisle for me and to be honest, it still is. I love books.

I spent my summers devouring books. I wasn’t quite as fast a reader as my sister who would often finish off two or more books in a day, but if it was a good one I would stay up until I finished every last word. I waited eagerly for each new release by my favorite authors. I know my parents bought some of my books, but I remember using my allowance or baby sitting money for quite a few of them too. As soon as I got my hands on one I was ready to sit down and read. As I got older, the lure of boys was enough to convince me to put the books down and get out of the house, but I was still able to get my reading in.

These days I’m still just as addicted to books. I buy them up like crazy. I peruse Amazon on a regular basis and heaven forbid I actually step foot in a book store. I can’t resist the promise of a fascinating story or the next big thing that will change my boring life. I love the feel of a new book in my hands. The problem is, I never have time to actually read them. I bring them home where they sit on my night stand for months collecting dust.

Now and then I pick one up from the night stand when I have a few spare moments before bed. I’ll read a few pages until my eyes can no longer stay open and then set it back down. On very rare occasions, like when I have a new Nicholas Sparks novel I’ll actually manage to read a chapter or two. Those are about the only books I seem to finish here lately and the last one took me over a month to actually read. Most of the time I read a few chapters and the book sits so long that I feel like I need to start all over. Eventually it ends up on the bottom of the stack, never to be finished.

I have stacks and stacks of unfinished books. I even have a pretty good stack that I’ve never even started reading. A while back I vowed to myself that I would not buy any more books until I finished reading some of the ones already lining my bookshelves at home. Unfortunately, I forgot about that vow and ordered a couple more, as well as pre-ordering another. I’m only about half way through Skinny Bitch (which one day deserves a post of its own) and not quite half way through Into the Wild (which is interesting but a very slow read for me), the last two that I purchased. I’m determined to finish them, yet I couldn’t resist starting in on one of the new ones last night. There’s just something so fresh and satisfying about cracking open a new book.


Confessions: Something is Off

Most people have some kind of sign as to when things are not right in their lives.  For some it may be a change in appetite, a change in sleep patterns, or a major mood swing.  I actually do all of those things, but when I really notice a change is when I lose interest in something that I love doing.

Here comes the confession part.  Over the last couple of weeks I have lost interest in reading blogs.  Sure I have been busy, but I have actually had very little interest in reading most of the blogs that I keep up with through my feed reader.  There are a few must-reads every day but the rest I could just go without.  This is a big change when you consider that I obsessively read well over 50 blogs (almost) daily.  Many of them are a quick scan, but I at least keep up with what is going on in the lives of my favorite bloggers.

Now I wonder if my interest will bounce back or if it is just time to move on to other hobbies.  I have been doing a lot of other things lately that are taking up my time so maybe it is just a natural progression happening.  More of one thing means less of another.  The really strange thing is that I don’t really miss it.  I almost feel a sense of guilt though when I don’t read.  I’m afraid to hit the “mark all as read” button because I might miss something important.  Plus, when I get too far behind I just get overwhelmed.  There is never enough time to catch up.

Maybe it is just time for a little spring cleaning of the feed reader.

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