Month: December 2006

This morning I was reading a few blogs when I clicked on a link and then clicked on another link and eventually found myself at Chookooloonks (which is a fabulous blog if you’ve never read it).  I scrolled down the page to see what Karen had written lately and came across this entry which really hit home for me.  When I saw the title of the post, "Love is a decision" I already had an idea of what I was about to read.  She really summed it all up when she said, "love isn’t just that exhilarating rush you get when someone walks into the room. It is also the decision to consciously love, even when the going gets a bit rough."  That line is really sticking in my head today, probably because I see so much truth in it.

Hubby and I have been married for 4 and a half years now.  We were both married before.  We have both experienced love in many different ways, shapes, and forms.  But for me, this is the first time I have ever felt like I made the decision to truly love someone.  Love is easy between family and friends but when it comes to choosing the person that you are going to spend the rest of your life with, it gets more difficult.   When I got married the first time, I think I was too young and too immature to really understand what I was committing myself to.  I definitely loved my ex-husband, and still do in a way, but I never really made the decision to consciously love him.  When things got rough I took the easy way out instead of standing by him and working things out.

Love is something that I fall into easily.  When Hubby and I first met, things happened very quickly.  I knew right away that I wanted to be with him.  Just when I had convinced myself that I would never meet anyone worthy of my love again, he appeared in my life.  The night we met, I told my best friend that he was the one.  He ignited a spark in my heart that had been missing for quite a while.  Love is easy in the beginning.

It wasn’t until things got a little rocky that I actually had to sit back and evaluate our relationship.  It was then that I made the conscious decision to love him.  Since then, there have been a lot of rocky times.  There have been times when I was so angry at him that the thoughts of leaving crossed my mind.  There have been times when I even wondered whether I still had enough love to give him.  Eventually I always come around to the same answer.  I made the decision that I was going to love him.  By marrying him, I made a commitment before God, my family, and my friends to love him.  Through thick and thin, he is the man I want to be with and the man I want to love for the rest of my life.

When it comes to a marital relationship, I think that love goes in cycles.  There is the excitement in the beginning where you can barely stand to leave each other’s side.  As your relationship grows and matures that excitement fades into comfort.  There are ups and downs and sometimes a little monotony in the middle, but through it all love can persevere if you have both made that decision to love each other day in and day out.

I may not always show my love.  In fact, Hubby doesn’t think that I show it nearly enough, but deep down I do truly love him.  We both have our faults, which we are quick to point out to each other when we are angry, but we also have love-for ourselves, for each other, and for the family we have created.  As long as we have love we can get through anything.

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Have I mentioned how much I hate Christmas shopping?  It’s not really that I hate the shopping.  It’s that I hate the crowds and all of the insane people that seem to inhabit the stores that I need to go to during the Christmas shopping season.  I just don’t get why people act so crazy.

I decided to make a quick trip to Kohl’s over lunch today to look for some boots (yes, I’m still on a quest for the perfect pair of brown boots).  When I got there I could already tell it was going to be hell because the only parking spots left were in the row in the very, very, far end of the lot.  I got lucky and just happened to turn my car down the aisle just as someone else was pulling out of a closer spot. 

When I walked in the door, the first thing I noticed were all the 50% off signs hanging all over the place.  The second thing I noticed was the line of probably 30-40 people waiting to check out.  I almost turned around and walked out, but the 50% off signs lured the bargain shopper part of my brain in.  So, I went in to look for my boots.  I need a pair of knee high brown boots to wear with a skirt that I really want to wear at my friend’s graduation but I haven’t been able to find any that are the right style and that fit.  Why is it that shoe makers don’t make boots to fit people whose calves are thicker than the standard size 6 woman?  Even some skinny women (not that I’m one of them) have muscular legs you know.

Anyway, I didn’t find the boots I wanted but I did find another pair of more casual brown boots that were so comfy I couldn’t resist them.  They’ll be fine to wear to work and much better to wear in the ice and snow than my old Doc Martens with no tread left on the bottom (plus, they were 50% off!).  The only problem is I still need boots to wear with my skirt.  If I can’t find any then I’ve got to scrounge through my closet again and try to find a different outfit to wear for the graduation.  My work clothes are a little too casual and my dressy clothes (the ones that fit) are a little too dressy.  I need something in between.  I don’t think I’ll wear the new boots until I’m sure that I can’t find the ones I actually want just in case I decide to take them back. 

I would have liked to have done some more shopping (50% off signs everywhere!), but I figured I better get to checking out before my lunch hour was over.  By the time I fought my way through the crowd, explained the difference between Juniors and Misses sizes to a nice but confused man, and picked up one or two other things, the line had died down and I didn’t have to wait long to check out.  Since I didn’t have to wait I was feeling generous and even picked up a collector’s edition copy of How the Grinch Stole Christmas for Zach (okay so maybe it was more for me but he’ll enjoy it in a couple years).

I still need to make one trip to the mall to get a couple of Christmas gifts that I can’t get elsewhere and possibly a trip to Old Navy, but other than that I think I’ll be doing the rest of my Christmas shopping online.  It is so much easier that way!

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MyPicture, originally uploaded by deew27.

Because I can’t seem to come up with anything to write today, I was looking through some of my posts from this time last year. I can’t believe how tiny Zach looks in his Santa picture from last December. This was uploaded exactly one year ago today. A year flies by so fast.

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dec_06 037, originally uploaded by deew27.

Well, we didn’t get as much snow as we expected. The reports are that we got about 8 inches in my area. Hubby just finished shoveling our steep driveway so we can get the car out of the garage. We both stayed home from work today. There’s not much point in him working today with the kind of job he has and it just wasn’t worth the struggle to get out of the driveway for me to go in this morning.

While Hubby was shoveling, I bundled Zach up and took him outside to play in the snow. It was his first real snow experience and I don’t think he really enjoyed it all that much. I think it was more frustration than anything because he was having a really hard time walking. I suppose when the snow is up around your knees it would be a little hard to walk in. Eventually he played around a little and then he wanted to help Daddy shovel.

I hear the roads aren’t too bad today which is good because I didn’t think to stock up on milk before the storm hit and we’re almost out. We won’t go out today unless we absolutely need to. Hopefully by tomorrow the ice on the roads will be melted away and we will be able to get a little Christmas shopping done.

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