The Plant Guy Hates Me

At my office we have this guy that comes around once a week and takes care of all of our indoor plants.  We have some really nice plants up at the front of the office to greet people when they come in.  Plus most of us have a plant or two in our offices to spruce things up a bit.

When my Grandpa died last winter, I was offered a plant that had been sent for the funeral.  I accepted the plant knowing that I definitely do not have any kind of green thumb.  I had already killed the plant that I was given after my other grandfather’s funeral.  It lasted almost a year, but between my cats eating the leaves and me forgetting to water it, it was just destined to die.  Even knowing all of that, I figured I would give it another try.

This time around, I figured I would take the plant to my office so that it would be out of the cats’ reach.  Knowing that the plant guy would come around once a week made me feel pretty safe.  I figured if I did try to kill it, maybe he could stop me before it actually died.  So, after a couple of weeks of forgetting to bring it every day, the plant finally made it to the office and I found a place to proudly display it.  It really does make my office look a little more homey.

Since I am way back in the back of the office hidden away, I made sure to tell those that were in front to send the plant guy my way when he came in so that I could tell him about my plant.  He came in the following week and took a look at my plant.  He said that it needed to be re-potted with a larger pot and some better quality soil.  I told him that I would try to do that and he left…without watering my plant.

The next week, I waited and waited for him to show up and he never did.   When I asked around, I was told that he had already been there.  He didn’t come back to my corner at all.  So I asked them to make sure that they sent him back the next time, thinking that maybe he had just forgotten.

So I waited and waited.  Week after week I waited for the plant guy and he never came around the corner to my office.  I still hadn’t re-potted my plant because I don’t know what in the heck kind of soil to buy for my plant.  I was waiting for the opportunity to ask him, but he never showed his face.

Finally, in June, my mom asked him to come back here because my plant wasn’t looking so hot.  I had actually been remembering to water it, but apparently that wasn’t enough.  My plant is a needy plant.  So the plant guy comes back to my office and we discussed the whole re-potting thing again.  He offered to bring me in a catalog where I could pick out a new pot and said that he would pot it for me.  I was perfectly fine with that.  I would rather pay him to do it than try to do it without killing my plant.

Guess what?  He never showed up again.  I’m still waiting for him to pop his head around the corner.  I know he’s in the office once a week.  All of the other plants in the office look fabulous.  Mine just looks totally ghetto.  Don’t believe it?   Here’s a picture.  Just ignore the ugly boxes in the background and the stacks of papers waiting to be filed.

 

Those leaves?  They’re supposed to be standing up, not drooping down like they have a bad hangover.  It really was a beautiful plant when it was younger, before I got my hands on it.

I am seriously beginning to think that the plant guy just doesn’t like me.  I don’t know any other explanation for his total disregard of my dying plant.  Really, what did I ever do to him?  I was even going to pay him just to re-pot my plant! 

Zach is so lucky that he is human and not a plant.  Who would have ever thought that a baby would be easier to take care of than a plant that doesn’t even move?