With last week’s orders from the Missouri Governor, schools are now closed through the end of the school year. I knew it was coming, but after the week we had last week it felt a bit like a punch to the gut. The novelty of e-learning at home has definitely worn off. It is becoming more and more of a struggle to get the kids up and doing their work every day.
I think the announcement also brought with it the reality that we are going to be stuck here at home a lot longer than we initially thought. It means our “postponed” sports seasons are now cancelled. It means no get-togethers with friends for the foreseeable future. It means no church. It means no enjoying the beautiful Spring weather riding roller coasters at Worlds of Fun. It means not getting to experience the end of the school year with their friends, which is honestly the best part. It means not exchanging year books and phone numbers and making plans to get together over the summer. It means that instead of being excited to stay home and sleep in over summer break, the days will just continue, the same as they are now.
I saw a shift after the announcement was made. It was physical, visible. Their shoulders slumped, eyes lowered. As much as they complain about going to school, this isolation and distancing from their peers is hard. They miss their friends. They miss the routine. Even my most optimistic child, who typically can make the best of any situation, is struggling to keep her head above the water of the depression pool at this point. It is so hard to watch and know there really is nothing I can do to help. I try to stay positive, but it is hard when I am struggling too.
We tried to make the best of Easter on Sunday. We colored Easter eggs with the cousins via Zoom Saturday night. The Easter Bunny delivered baskets of goodies and hid eggs for the kids to find when they woke up. We watched church services online, but it just isn’t the same as being in a church building filled with like-minded people singing and worshiping. We spent some time on a Zoom call with my Dad and Debie, and my siblings families. I cooked an actual meal (with the help of Evie). We had ham, potatoes, deviled eggs, and green beans. It would have been perfect had I remembered to buy some bread rolls at the store, and if my oldest would have actually come upstairs for dinner. He is definitely in the stage where family is not a priority. By the time we cleaned up after dinner I was wiped out and ended up taking a nap on the couch for a bit.
To be honest, I haven’t felt the greatest the last few days. After a bit of a “high” last week with the incredible sunshine and lots of exercise, I crashed. Friday and Saturday my stomach wasn’t feeling great and I started noticing my energy levels were way down. Saying you aren’t feeling well right now throws up all kinds of red flags, but my symptoms are not COVID-19 related, I swear. Though I’ve had no fever, I’m suspecting an infection. If things don’t get better soon, I’ll be calling my doctor, though a trip to the doctor is the last thing I want to do right now. I do, however, want to start feeling better and get my energy back up. It is hard to be peppy for everyone else when all I want to do is crawl in bed and sleep. I just have to make myself pick up the phone and call.