Before I got pregnant with Zachary, I had many dreams of what the perfect family would be like. I wanted to have two babies (preferably a boy and a girl) spaced about two years apart. To me, that made perfect sense and was balanced just right.
In order to have my perfectly spaced kids, that means that I would need to start working on kid #2 by about the time that Zach turns a year old. That would give us three months to work on getting pregnant in order to have the second baby by the time Zach turns 2. It did take 2 1/2 years to get pregnant the first time, so I have no idea how long the second time will take.
Recently I have realized that Zach’s 1st birthday is coming up REALLY quickly, like in less than three months, and suddenly I’m not so sure that I’m ready to start working on baby #2. I was very lucky with Zach and for the most part he has been a very easy-going kid. But, lately he has become more and more demanding and is testing my patience on a daily basis. I’m not so sure that I could even handle being pregnant and keeping up with him, much less having another baby to take care of. On top of that there is the whole financial thing to consider as well. Two kids in day care and diapers is a scary thought.
Plus, I still have about 20 more pounds to lose to meet my goal weight. Originally I wanted to be at my goal weight before getting pregnant again in hopes that it would make losing the second baby weight a little bit easier. I’m still losing weight, but not as quickly as I was before and I’m pretty sure that I’m not going to get rid of those 20 pounds in three months. It is possible, but I will have to get very strict again on the diet and for me summer and dieting don’t work so well together.
A friend of mine had her second baby two weeks ago. As I watch her and her husband deal with their new little girl and 21-month-old boy, I think it might be possible. Then I wonder if I might miss some of Zach’s baby days by rushing into having another one so quickly. Would he miss out on some of those precious moments that I want to give him because I am too busy or too tired to spend time with him? Or, would having a little baby brother or sister around enrich his life even more?
I always thought I had it all figured out. Now, I’m not so sure. I know I want to have another one, but now I wonder if my perfect timing that I always dreamed of might just be all wrong.
There are advantages and disadvantages to everything. I have known people who have had kids who are very close together in age and I have known people who have kids who are more spaced out. The ones who had kids very close in age talk about how the kids can entertain each other easier because they are closer in age. People I know who really spaced out the kids talk about how it allowed them to give each child extra attention. *shrug* I guess you just have to decide what is right for you based on as much information as you can get.
We always have these ideas about the way we want everything to work out. When am I going to learn it never works out that way. What ever you decide its your decision, dont rush anything if you feel you are not ready.
I was NOT ready to have a second one after my first year with Paige. Even when she turned two I was very nervous but eventually my hubby talked me into trying and 6 months later we were prego. Nolan appeared 3 months shy of Paige’s 3rd birthday and IMHO it was the BEST age gap ever. Paige is old enough to really be helpful and understand what goes into having a younger sibling *why she doesn’t get all the attention too*. I definitely would enjoy Zach’s baby days a little longer (but That’s just me LOL!!).