It is time for us to have a little chat. I really thought that we were getting a little more in sync with each other, but this past month or so you’ve been letting me down.
Back in July, I was feeling good. You were doing your part – exercising, not pushing me toward the chocolate when I wanted to feed you zucchini, and just being there for me when I needed you. Things were going really well.
Then August came along. You performed really well for me on race day. I even gave you a bit of a break the week after with the intention of revving back up after a few days of rest. The problem is, you never really revved back up. Workouts have been sluggish and most of the time you won’t even let me wake up to do them. I diligently set the alarm for 5:30 every day, giving you plenty of time to wake by 6:00 for our morning run but you keep hitting the snooze and letting me sleep right through. Are you really just trying to sabotage all of my efforts?
Then there is the whole sleeping thing itself. Why can you not just rest when it is time to rest? I know there is the whole allergy onslaught that happens every year around this time that is making you tired. Then, there is the stress of Zachary starting school, the new routine, the tantruming 2-year-old, and the fact that you rarely even get to sit down in the evenings until after 9:00. All of this should make you more tired. When you actually get to go to bed you should be ready to sleep, not toss and turn all night long so that I feel completely drained the next day like I haven’t slept at all (except for those sweet hours between 5:00-7:00 when you seem to want to sleep while I should be waking up). I mean really, it can’t possibly be me keeping you up when all I want is eight glorious hours of sleep, right?
Oh, and about all those chocolate chip cookies you keep shoving in your mouth? STOP IT. I know we’re a little short on groceries right now, but I’ve been coming up with nice (fairly) healthy meals for you despite that challenge. There’s really no reason to keep showing off and proving the point that I have no control over you. You are not going to starve. I know for a fact there are plenty of reserves down there in the hip region.
I really only have three requests:
- Give me a good solid 7-8 hours of sleep a night without tossing and turning or strange back pains.
- Wake up on time for a run at least 3-4 times a week.
- Quit shoving junk into your mouth.
I don’t think that’s too much to ask. Can we work together on this? I’ve given up a lot for you, including my Diet Coke (well, all but one a day anyway) which fuels me throughout the day with its wonderful caffeine flow. I really think you should work with me here.
Oh, and there is one more thing. If you could just dissolve that little cyst in my foot that is causing me problems, that would be great. I might even forgive you for the cookies.
If you have any questions or concerns, please contact me at your earliest convenience (as long as it is not in the middle of the night).