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Because That’s What Nice Girls Do

“If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”

I couldn’t even tell you how many times I heard that saying when I was a kid.  But I never really cared about things like that back then.  I just said what I wanted, when I wanted – especially when I was fighting with my brother or sister.  Well, either that or I just got really quiet and did something sneaky to piss them off or get them in trouble.  I guess I did actually adhere to the rules sometimes.

The reason I bring that up is because I think that is the whole reason why I can’t seem to write here lately.  I just don’t have anything nice to say and I want this to be a happy place.  I feel like every post I’ve written or started to write lately has been just negative and depressing.  So instead, I run away and avoid dealing with the things that I really need to write about.

There are good, wonderful, happy things happening in my life like Evie cutting her third tooth and giving me the cutest, goofiest smiles in the world but there are also some really sucky things going on like Evie being sick for almost an entire week and Zach having an attitude way bigger than his 3 years should allow.  Not to mention the fact that every single thing I touch right now seems to break or fall apart and I’m getting really behind at work.  All of this negative stuff is just weighing me down and making it hard to concentrate on the good.  I want to think we’re just having a string of bad luck right now but when does it stop?  I know kids get sick and 3-year-olds have attitude, but all of the money we’ve spent either replacing or fixing things here lately is atrocious, especially considering we don’t have any extra money to spend.

The whole money thing?  It really gets to me.  I know times are hard for everyone right now but every single time I finally feel like I’m getting a grip on things financially, something big happens.  Then I get stressed and when I get stressed I spend money.  It is a seriously vicious cycle that I can’t seem to get out of.  The worst part is that I know I do it, yet I do it anyway.

Right now I’m sitting here contemplating whether I should even hit publish.  I really hate writing posts like this because I feel like a total Negative Nancy but I also hate it because it dips a little into the part of me that I always try to hide from the world.  I’m always the positive, happy-go-lucky type of person.  I don’t let things get me down.  Friends at work are constantly amazed at how I can keep my cool even in really stressful situations but in reality it is all a lie.  I just push it down and don’t let my true feelings show because that’s what nice girls do.  Yep, I’m a nice girl – on the outside.

But guess what? Nice girls have real feelings too.

Before I was contacted by the local newspaper and decided to go public with this blog I had a place to deal with my feelings.  It was here.  I wrote whatever I wanted.  (Don’t try searching. Most of those posts have been deleted or are private now).  I didn’t worry about anyone being offended or finding out who I really was.  It was my safe place.  I chose to open it up and share it and I do think it was a good decision.  But now I have no where to go with the bad stuff, the stuff I don’t share with even my closest friends.

When I get stressed I run.  I hide.  Then?  I need change.  I need something new.  I need to find a place to control something in my life because I can’t control the thing that is causing the stress.  Usually it ends with a new hair cut or a shopping spree.  Sometimes it ends in seriously life altering decisions.  Um, this time?  I spent the last three weekends straight working harder than I have ever worked on my house.  I cleaned, sorted, re-arranged, and organized almost my entire house.  I’m not done yet either, but we’re going out of town this weekend so the rest will have to wait.  Granted, it resulted in a new playroom for my kids which we all love, but only now am I realizing what my motivation for all of it was.

As usual I have no idea where I’m going with all of this.  I think I just needed a brain dump.  I needed to get it out there because I’m tired of holding it in.  I’m tired of holding everything in, but I always have a hard time letting it out.  I don’t want people to see the bad stuff.  Instead, I keep it in.  Because that’s what nice girls do.

But this nice girl?  Has really freakin’ adorable kids and that is what gets me by when life otherwise sucks.

Zach & Evie

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Published inLiving the Life


  1. I feel for you. My husband is currently sitting around the house, gnawing at his arm with boredom. He’s scared if he goes out he’ll just spend money (which he will) and we are on a budget for the first time in our lives.
    It’s hard to be happy when you are under stress.

    Personally, I eat my way through it- hence I’m going to gastric bypass in January. :0(

  2. As I read all my blogs, I notice a lot of this sort of thing going around. I’m sure it’s the economy, and probably a lot of people suffer from seasonal affective disorder, too.

    This was an honest, genuine post. There’s not one of your readers who hasn’t felt the same way at some time or other.

    Perhaps it would do you good to have a separate, private blog?

  3. I’m so with you on feeling the pull to write but not wanting my Blog to turn into the Nastiness of Negative Nancy. The reality is that times are tough and this blog is an outlet for YOU – we’re all just hear to observe your ride so shutting off the bad stuff all the time isn’t serving you. And really that’s what YOUR blog should do.

  4. Yes, it would be tempting to spew venom all over my blog sometimes, but I know I would regret it. So, I try to keep it at a minimum. *sigh*

    Hang in there – sorry things have been rough for you.

  5. The look on your daughter’s precious chubster baby face just made my heart so happy. I miss the baby days.

  6. dee dee

    @jenny bean – Wow, I didn’t know you were doing gastric bypass! I have a friend who had it done and it totally changed her life. I hope it goes well. I’ll be praying for you!

  7. dee dee

    @Donna – Yes, there is a lot of this going around right now. I know I’m not alone by any means. I have considered a private blog and even started a couple. Somehow it just doesn’t have the same effect as blogging here does. I miss the support of my friends.

  8. dee dee

    @cass – Yes, you are exactly right. Thanks for the reminder!

  9. dee dee

    @cagey – Knowing my family and other people I know in real life are reading definitely helps me keep the negative things off of my blog most of the time. But sometimes, getting that negative stuff out there and off of my chest feels really good.

  10. dee dee

    @The Redheaded Lefty – Thanks! My kids always bring a little sunshine into my cloudy days.

  11. I think it’s great that you did vent out – we all need it. While looking at the kids’ photo at the end though, it’s like they’re both saying – ‘we dare you to be stressed Mom!’ And I imagine the stress melting away too!

    The thing with showing some negativity on my blog – i find that hard too. Even if there’s probably just one or two people in my real life who read it. So for me, it’s probably not whether my blog is anonymous or not, I’m just a nice girl like you. Wahaha 🙂

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