Category: Life

2 kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and 1 husband – life isn’t perfect, but it is what we make it

What would you take?

Published by dee on November 24, 2006

I finally got my hands on Maggie Mason’s book, No One Cares What You Had for Lunch. As I perused through the pages I found several ideas that looked interesting that I may explore in the future. But, for a quickie entry I wanted to focus on the following:

"At 3 a.m. the fire alarm wakes you. You realize that the house is aflame, and that you’re sleeping naked. After grabbing a robe, and making sure that people and pets are out of the building, what would you search for next?"

First of all, I would never be sleeping naked. I always sleep in pants and either a tank top or t-shirt (I know, how boring!). Given that, I may or may not grab a robe and throw on the flip flops that are almost always next to my bed anyway.

After getting Zach, the Hubby, and the animals out, my next grabs would be my back up hard drive and my laptop. My back up drive has a full back up of my desktop computer, including all of my digital photos and copies of most of my cd’s. Hopefully, when this fire happens, I have finished scanning in all of my pre-digital photos so I won’t have to worry about getting those.

Beyond that, I think I would want to grab a comfort item or two for Zach. I would want him to have his favorite blankie (although I would probably grab this up when I grabbed him) and his Big Bird that Daddy brought him from Pittsburgh.

Next in line would be the guitars, both Hubby’s and mine. We also have some of his brother’s guitars that his mom and dad brought up last time they visited. We would definitely want to have those as they really cannot be replaced.

Then, if I had time, I would grab my grandmother’s paintings off of the walls and our family portraits. Those are things that really can’t be replaced either.

Of course, in my irrational thinking, I would probably want to grab a few other things too (like my perfectly broken in jeans and my old navy sweatshirt), but these are the ones that come to mind.

So, what would you grab?

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Confessions: On Writing

Published by dee on November 23, 2006

Every once in a while when I have some time to spare I think I’ll compose a blog entry and save it to post at a later time. The problem with this is that as soon as I complete the entry, I want to publish it. There is just something about that instant gratification I get when I hit the publish button on my browser window. It feels so good to get it out of my head and out there where others can read and respond to it. I don’t like to wait to publish what I’ve written. I’m pretty sure I could never write a book.

When I compose, I often start out with an idea of what I want to write about. As I write, the subject of my entry often changes and turns into something completely different. This generally happens when it is something I feel strongly emotional about. Most of the time, those entries end up being some of my best writing. It seems that when I let my mind and my memories take over instead of over-analyzing everything I actually am a pretty good writer.

I have always been a pretty straight forward writer. I’m not one to use fancy embellishing words. I just tell it like it is. When I try to stretch it out, it never comes out as well. Because of this, I never did well at creative writing, even though I have an extremely active imagination.

I am a bit of a perfectionist. If I catch a misspelled word after I have published a blog entry, I almost always go back and fix it. I can’t stand to see it on the screen. At the same time, I am really bad at punctuation and tend to overuse commas and under use semicolons. I was fabulous in English and Grammar, but lost most of that knowledge somewhere along the way.

I dream of one day being a well-known writer, whether it be online or in print. I never would have had this dream if I had not discovered blogging. It has opened up the creative flow within me and I can’t seem to turn it off. Some days it hides, but most days it is there, ready to be released.

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Ahhhhhhhhh

Published by dee on November 22, 2006

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving but for me it almost feels like Christmas. I am really looking forward to the four day weekend. I’m just downright giddy actually that I don’t have to go to work tomorrow even though this week has been one of the best I’ve had in a long time.

Having Zach come to work with me this week was a lot of fun. It was a lot of extra work chasing him around and trying to keep him quiet, but I loved getting the extra time with him. If anything, I think I actually got more work done this week because I worked so much harder and faster than I normally do. In between changing Zach’s dvd’s, trying to quiet him down, and keep him from climbing on the storage boxes, I rushed around to complete the necessary work.

Zach and I worked until about 1:00 every day and then we came home so that he could get a nap in and I could finish up whatever I was working on from home. Somehow I managed to get my work done, get several piles of laundry washed, pay my bills, and even have a little time left over before 5:00 came.

I think I’ll miss him next week when he goes back to day care. It was fun getting to hang out with him all day. The tantrum he threw in the office kitchen wasn’t so fun, but its all give and take, right?

The next few days will be both fun and relaxing. We’ll spend Thanksgiving day at my mom’s house with my brother and sister and their families. Then we’ll have Friday to just hang out and do nothing. Saturday is my nephew’s birthday party and then Sunday we’ll go to church and have a Thanksgiving meal with my dad and his wife. There will be lots of family, lots of food, and most importantly, lots of down time.

———–

Why is it that not two minutes after Hubby walks out the door (while I’m holding a soaking wet baby wrapped in a towel) the dog decides to shit on the floor? And, why is it that as soon as I turn around to clean that up Zach decides to pee on the floor? They’re both working against me.

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Thankful

Published by dee on November 22, 2006

The holidays always seem to be a time for reflection and this year is no exception. With Thanksgiving being tomorrow (here in the U.S. anyway) I decided to take some time out and list some of the things that I am thankful for this year. I wish that I took the time out to be thankful more often, because once a year really isn’t often enough when you have a life that is as blessed as mine. Here are some of the things that I am particularly thankful for this year:

My Family- Both my immediate and extended family are a treasure to me. I may bitch about them much of the time, but when it comes right down to it, I don’t know what I would do without them. My family members are some of my best friends. They are always there when I need them to offer their help and support. Through both tradgedy and celebration this year, I have grown even closer to my husband’s family and for that I am very thankful.
Zach- He gets a category all his own. My son has taught me so much about myself in the last 17 months. He has taught me the true meaning of unconditional love. He has taught me how to have more patience than I ever knew was possible. He has taught me how to sit back and enjoy the small pleasures in life. My life has never been the same since I found out a little over two years ago that I was pregnant with him.
Home- As a kid my family moved around quite a lot. I never really felt like I had a “home” until now. Even though we don’t own our house (we rent) we have stayed in one place for over three years now. Hubby and I have created a life and a family in this house. This house and even the city it exists in have become “home” to me.
My job- I complain a lot about my job. We all know that it isn’t my ideal work situation, but it could be much, much worse. I have a boss who is very understanding and supports me in whatever ways he can. He allows me to put my family first and take time off when I need to care for my son. When I get in a jam with day care, he lets me bring Zach to work with me or take my work home. Plus, the occassional bonuses are really nice. If I have to work outside the home, I suppose this is the best place for me to be. I think I have finally come to terms with that.
The Internet- I know it sounds cheesy, but I seriously never would have guessed how much a computer and a broadband connection would change my life. My family web site allows me to keep my entire family up to date on what is going on in our lives. Zach’s grandparents, aunts, uncles, and other various family members can all watch him grow up even from hundreds of miles away. This blog has allowed me to meet many amazing new friends that I never would have met otherwise. It has helped me to come out of my shell and be myself both online and in the real world.
Music- I’ve often said that if I had to choose between losing my sight or losing my hearing I would choose to lose my hearing. The two hardest things about not hearing would be that I couldn’t hear my child laugh (which I could give up if I could still see the smile on his face) and I couldn’t listen to music. Music means so much to me. Rarely a day goes by that I don’t listen to some kind of music. Music is the soundtrack to my life. Songs bring my memories back to life. For example, when I hear a song like “Push It” I am automatically taken back to my high school days. I can see myself standing in my sister’s bathroom, braiding my hair, and getting pumped up for the volleyball game that I was about to go play in. It feels like it was yesterday. That memory and many, many others are so much more vivid because they are connected to a certain song that I can play over and over again on a whim. My life would be so different without music. Music can take me from depressed to happy, from angry to mellow, from happy to nostalgic. I don’t know what I would do without it.
Friends- Some days I don’t feel like I have a friend in the world and other days I feel so loved. I have very few really good friends in my life, but the ones I do have are friends for life. They always seem to know just when I need them, and I honestly don’t know what more I could ask for. I know that I don’t always reciprocate the love that they show me and I feel terrible about that. They surely deserve all of that and more. I am so thankful that I have them to share the ups and downs of my life with.

So, what are you thankful for?

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Another Picture for Distraction

Published by dee on November 20, 2006

It seems that my posting will be rather scarce this week. Zach’s day care provider is on vacation and I wasn’t able to find a back up day care on short notice so Zach is going to work with me. Today went pretty well. I took a backpack filled with toys, snacks, and a few dvd’s to entertain him. He got restless a couple of times but after a little walk around the office he would settle back down. He held out until after lunch and then was getting a little fussy so we headed home and I finished up some work while he took a nap. It was really fun to have him with me all day. I spent all of my free minutes chasing a toddler around. I don’t see the trend changing for the next couple of days.

We did have a great weekend. I spent Friday night with one of my best friends drinking and being stupid. We drank way too much, stayed up way to late, and took way too many pictures after the drinking way too much. But we had a fabulous time. Sometimes you just need to get goofy with your girlfriends, you know?

Saturday we had our family portraits taken. The photos all came out really great and I spent much more money than I had planned to spend on them. We also had some individual photos taken of Zach which came out so cute. He was amazingly cooperative up until the last few minutes. I’ll probably post a few more pictures here, but they are all marked private on flickr because they are going to be Christmas gifts for most of my family and I don’t want to spoil the surprise for them.

Saturday night and Sunday were spent mostly lounging around the house which was wonderful. We are always so busy that any chance to spend doing nothing just feels great. I’m definitely looking forward to doing more of that during our four day weekend coming up.

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A Different Kind of Love

Published by dee on November 17, 2006

When I was in college I had this friend named Jill. Jill was everything I ever wanted to be. She was beautiful, artistic, intelligent, and oh so deep. She loved Tori Amos and Tool and could find meaning in lyrics that made no sense to me. The other thing about Jill was that she had a huge heart.

Jill studied recreation in college, specifically therapeutic recreation. She chose to work with people that had developmental disabilities. She worked at a group home for developmentally disabled adults where she helped them with their daily activities. She took them shopping, helped them cook dinner, helped them brush their teeth, and all of those things that people do during normal daily life.

When I was so fed up with my job at the local Subway that I was finally ready to quit, Jill convinced me to apply for a job at the group home she worked at. At first I wasn’t too sure about it, but the hours at Subway were killing me and making it hard for me to stay awake during class so I thought I would give it a chance.

My first day of work was a bit of a shock to me. Even though I knew what I was getting into, I wasn’t fully prepared for some of the things I would see in that home. It was sad to see adults that could not do things for themselves that I totally took for granted. It was hard to eat at mealtimes while watching other people slobber and smash their food up and even sometimes chew up their food only to remove it from their mouths seconds later. It was definitely a learning experience for me. I got used to it over time and now that I think about it, it probably was the best preparation for parenthood I could have ever had.

It didn’t take me very long at all to form relationships with the women and men in the group home. I learned to love all of them in their own way. Some days that I spent there were extremely frustrating and other days were just pure fun. I learned to crochet because of one of my friends there. I learned to befriend those that were different than me. I learned about acceptance and tolerance. I learned patience. I learned a new meaning for the word family. I learned that we’re really not all that different.

There was one lady in particular in that home that I befriended. She had Down Syndrome and a massive temper but I loved her like a sister. When I was in a bad mood, she could always cheer me up. She liked to play jokes on you and laugh. She loved to hide things and then pretend she didn’t know where they were. She loved to just hang out and laugh and had the most contagious smile I’ve ever seen. She loved to tease and sit in people’s laps just to get a reaction. One of my favorite pictures is of her sitting in my lap. We were both laughing and smiling.

After college I moved to KC and had to leave that job. I worked in other group homes here for a couple of years before I left that profession. Somehow I thought that paying my rent was more important than feeding my heart. To this day, I still think of the men and women that lived in the homes that I worked in. Some of them have now passed away. Some of them are still there, living life and getting by. Most I have lost all contact with.

Sometimes I wonder if I made as big of a difference in their lives as they did in mine.

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