Category: Life

2 kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and 1 husband – life isn’t perfect, but it is what we make it

8 Months

Published by dee on November 18, 2008

Dear Evie,

I can’t believe that it is already time to write you another monthly letter. You are eight months old now. Month seven came and went and I never could find the time I needed to sit and reflect on the month before so I’m going to try to cram both months into this one. I hate doing that because if I don’t get it written down right away I forget some of the details and I’m afraid I’ve already lost some of the memories I wanted to hold on to. Some day when you are a sleep-deprived mom you’ll understand how the time and details can slip away.

You have been a very busy little girl over the last two months. Your weight gain has slowed down a little bit now, but at your six month check-up you were 19 pounds, 1 ounce and 28 1/4 inches tall. The last time you were weighed (just shy of 8 months) you were 20 pounds, 2 ounces. You have pretty much caught up with Caitlin and you are almost exactly the same size as Mikayla, who are both several months older than you.

Just after you turned six months old you started sleeping through the night. You made it about five nights straight and then you started waking up again. I’m not sure what happened, but I was very grateful for those five nights of sleep. Anytime you want to resume that sleeping thing would be just fine with me. I’m hoping that the night waking is due to teething and all of the rapid developments you’ve been going through recently but if it isn’t, we need to have a little talk. Mama needs her sleep – preferably before she loses her mind.

Speaking of rapid developments, you can now sit up by yourself, crawl (although you still prefer the army crawl most of the time), stand up on your own, and you love to clap (especially when you hear music). We had to set baby gates up in the living room because you kept getting away from us when we weren’t watching. You are starting to pull yourself up on everything and get really mad when I make you lay down to change your diaper. You grab and my shirt the whole time I’m changing you and try to stand up. Apparently I need to start practicing the standing diaper change again. I haven’t had to do that one for a while.

Your official first word(s) were spoken clearly on October 10th and just like your brother you chose “dada” over “mama”. You actually combined it with “hi” and we’ve been hearing “hi dada!” ever since. I think I’ve caught “bubba” a few times and you’ve also started saying “mama”. The first time I heard a clear “mama” you were in the floor crying. You wanted me to pick you up but I was trying to finish up something. Once you screamed out “MAMA!” I could no longer resist and scooped you up right away.

Over the last week or so you have decided that you don’t want baby food anymore. Anything that you can pick up with your hands and put in your mouth yourself is just fine, but if you see a spoon headed your way you turn away from it. I assume it is because you have finally mastered the pincer grasp, but this does complicate things just a bit. Even though you have four teeth now, you still can’t do a whole lot of chewing which greatly limits what I can feed you. Your favorite things to eat are the Gerber fruit puffs and cheese puffs (that look like mini cheetos!) but somehow I think you need a little more nutrition that what those can offer you. You did seem to like your brother’s Spagettios that I let you try though, so I guess that’s a start.

I’ve started trying to get you to drink out of a sippy cup for a while now but you aren’t really taking to it like I thought you would. You will drink out of it now and then, but most of the time you just prefer to chew on it. I was really hoping you would like it because you have started refusing to take a bottle from anyone other than Miss Paula. Since I do have to leave you with someone else on occasion, it would be nice if you would drink something when I’m not around. I know you would rather have me around to breastfeed you whenever you get a little thirsty but that isn’t always an option. I have a feeling we won’t be weaning anytime soon though.

Along with all of the other developments, your personality has really popped out over the last couple of months. You don’t hesitate to let us know when you don’t like something. You laugh like crazy when your brother does something silly – and he’ll do nearly anything to make you laugh. You also have figured out a couple of ways to make us laugh. You scrunch your face up into the cutest smile I’ve ever seen and you love to make funny noises with your tongue.

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve started calling you my “little monkey” because of the way you latch onto me when you want to cuddle. You wrap your arms and legs around me and squeeze tight like you are giving me a hug. It is nearly impossible to put you down when you’re in one of these moods and if I do you’ll scream until I pick you back up. You have also started giving kisses which is the cutest thing ever. You turn your head toward the targeted person and then push your whole face up against them. I love it when I am the lucky recipient.

You have had a lot of first experiences over the last couple of months too. You had your very first ride in a park swing, which you loved. Then we celebrated your very first Halloween. You were absolutely adorable dressed up as Tinkerbell. We took you out trick-or-treating with the boys (Zach and your cousins) but you were much more interested in the flashlight I was trying to carry. For the next two days you carried that thing around and it was the only thing that would make you stop crying.

About two weeks ago you got sick for the first time. At first I thought you had Strep, but after two doctor’s visits we figured out it was Roseola instead. I missed almost an entire week of work and spent most of that time holding you and trying to keep your fever down so you weren’t so uncomfortable. I hated it that you were so sick, but at the same time realized just how lucky you were to make it 7 1/2 months without really being sick at all.

You recovered from you ill
ness just in time for us to pack up and make a second trip to Texas. You got to meet several family members that you didn’t meet the last time around, including your Uncle Tut, Aunt Luli, and cousin Mikayla. I loved finally getting to see you and Mikayla together. Even though the two of you are nearly the same size, she has an age advantage of four months and it was very evident. It reminded me of just how fast things change and what I have to look forward to in the next few months (no rush though!).

As usual, I feel like I have left so much out of this. Just as there is truly no way to tell you how much I love you, there is no way to recap an entire two months of your life in one letter. I can’t capture all of the smiles and snuggles and warmth that you have brought into my life in words. I only hope that some day when you read these words that they will bring the smiles and warmth back to you and you will know just how much you are loved.

Love always,
Mama

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Because That’s What Nice Girls Do

Published by dee on November 11, 2008

“If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”

I couldn’t even tell you how many times I heard that saying when I was a kid. But I never really cared about things like that back then. I just said what I wanted, when I wanted – especially when I was fighting with my brother or sister. Well, either that or I just got really quiet and did something sneaky to piss them off or get them in trouble. I guess I did actually adhere to the rules sometimes.

The reason I bring that up is because I think that is the whole reason why I can’t seem to write here lately. I just don’t have anything nice to say and I want this to be a happy place. I feel like every post I’ve written or started to write lately has been just negative and depressing. So instead, I run away and avoid dealing with the things that I really need to write about.

There are good, wonderful, happy things happening in my life like Evie cutting her third tooth and giving me the cutest, goofiest smiles in the world but there are also some really sucky things going on like Evie being sick for almost an entire week and Zach having an attitude way bigger than his 3 years should allow. Not to mention the fact that every single thing I touch right now seems to break or fall apart and I’m getting really behind at work. All of this negative stuff is just weighing me down and making it hard to concentrate on the good. I want to think we’re just having a string of bad luck right now but when does it stop? I know kids get sick and 3-year-olds have attitude, but all of the money we’ve spent either replacing or fixing things here lately is atrocious, especially considering we don’t have any extra money to spend.

The whole money thing? It really gets to me. I know times are hard for everyone right now but every single time I finally feel like I’m getting a grip on things financially, something big happens. Then I get stressed and when I get stressed I spend money. It is a seriously vicious cycle that I can’t seem to get out of. The worst part is that I know I do it, yet I do it anyway.

Right now I’m sitting here contemplating whether I should even hit publish. I really hate writing posts like this because I feel like a total Negative Nancy but I also hate it because it dips a little into the part of me that I always try to hide from the world. I’m always the positive, happy-go-lucky type of person. I don’t let things get me down. Friends at work are constantly amazed at how I can keep my cool even in really stressful situations but in reality it is all a lie. I just push it down and don’t let my true feelings show because that’s what nice girls do. Yep, I’m a nice girl – on the outside.

But guess what? Nice girls have real feelings too.

Before I was contacted by the local newspaper and decided to go public with this blog I had a place to deal with my feelings. It was here. I wrote whatever I wanted. (Don’t try searching. Most of those posts have been deleted or are private now). I didn’t worry about anyone being offended or finding out who I really was. It was my safe place. I chose to open it up and share it and I do think it was a good decision. But now I have no where to go with the bad stuff, the stuff I don’t share with even my closest friends.

When I get stressed I run. I hide. Then? I need change. I need something new. I need to find a place to control something in my life because I can’t control the thing that is causing the stress. Usually it ends with a new hair cut or a shopping spree. Sometimes it ends in seriously life altering decisions. Um, this time? I spent the last three weekends straight working harder than I have ever worked on my house. I cleaned, sorted, re-arranged, and organized almost my entire house. I’m not done yet either, but we’re going out of town this weekend so the rest will have to wait. Granted, it resulted in a new playroom for my kids which we all love, but only now am I realizing what my motivation for all of it was.

As usual I have no idea where I’m going with all of this. I think I just needed a brain dump. I needed to get it out there because I’m tired of holding it in. I’m tired of holding everything in, but I always have a hard time letting it out. I don’t want people to see the bad stuff. Instead, I keep it in. Because that’s what nice girls do.

But this nice girl? Has really freakin’ adorable kids and that is what gets me by when life otherwise sucks.

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The Only Good Thing About This Week Is That It Is Almost Over

Published by dee on November 6, 2008

So, not that I necessarily need to state the obvious, but I’m not participating in NaBloPoMo this year. I considered it, but I just simply can’t post every day. Heck, I’m lucky to post once a week here lately. I’ll try my hardest to keep up with all of you who are participating, but from the looks of my feed reader right now that isn’t really going to happen either.

If you follow me on Twitter, then you know why I haven’t updated this week. Evie has been one sick little girl and pretty much all of my time has been consumed snuggling and soothing a cranky baby. The girl has been blessed with excellent health up until now so of course when it happened it happened in a big way.

She started running a fever either Sunday night or Monday morning. I though she felt a little warm at day care drop off Monday morning, but brushed it off thinking it was just because the car was a little warm on the way there. By the time I picked her up she was definitely feverish and it hasn’t let up since.

After finding out Tuesday morning that the other baby at day care (2 months younger than Evie) had a confirmed case of Strep, I called the doctor and took Evie in. Evie tested negative, but continues to show signs of possible Strep so if she’s not better by Friday morning we’re going back to the doctor.

I’ve been trying to cram in as much work as possible from home while Evie naps or (on very rare occasions) plays in the play pen next to me. Yesterday she graced me with a three hour nap. Today? Not so much with the napping. It looks like we’ll be home again tomorrow. I really hope my boss isn’t getting mad at me for being gone so much.

In other news, we had an excellent Halloween. We took the kids trick-or-treating around my sister’s neighborhood and then headed over to see my dad and his wife for a bit at a friend’s house. We caught up with my brother, his wife, and my niece there as well. Then we went back to my sister’s house for a bit and let the kids play until they were ready to drop. On the way home Zach said, “Mommy, I LOVE Halloween!” Then he fell asleep and stayed that way until 10:00 a.m.

Somehow I managed to get totally motivated on Saturday morning. I started cleaning out our guest/guitar/sewing/junk room to prepare for some re-arranging of furniture. Then I decided it would be a brilliant idea to pull the nasty carpet up. I knew there was hard wood underneath it. I just didn’t know what kind of condition it was in. There are a few bad spots, but it really isn’t horrible. I’m really glad that we got rid of the carpet, but my body was not so happy with me. Hubby wasn’t feeling well so I did the majority of the heavy lifting on my own and I felt every bit of it the next morning.

The re-arranging project is now about halfway complete. The guest room is now an office/music/craft room with a futon for our occasional overnight guests instead of the full-size bed. It came in quite handy this week while I’ve been trying to work from home. The room the computer and desk were in is set to become a play room for the kids as soon as I can finish cleaning up the junk in there, get the carpet cleaned, and actually move the toys. Unfortunately, Evie being sick has really slowed down my progress this week. I was hoping to at least get to cleaning the carpet so that by Saturday we could be setting up the toys in there.

So, that’s pretty much where I’m at right now. I know this was a really long and boring post, but I always feel the need to catch up before I can write anything of substance. Hopefully once I get finished with my little home makeover project (and Evie is feeling better) I’ll be able to get back to more regular blogging. Maybe someday I’ll even get Evie’s 7 month letter written, possibly even before she turns 8 months.

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I Thought Bad Things Happened In 3's

Published by dee on October 28, 2008

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the direction my life is headed. I’ve been feeling very out of control and in need of a bit of structure. Part of that structure includes getting control of our family budget. This was supposed to be the month that I tightened things up and started paying a bit more attention to exactly where that money is going. I’ve been trying really hard to cut down on my spending (no laughing mom!) because I’m the one that does the shopping and always ends up picking up way more than what is on the list. Yes, I admit to having a problem with that. Shopping is my escape when everything else in life gets me down.

Just after I made the conscious decision to do this, all kinds of unexpected expenses popped up. First, there was the cracked windshield. I didn’t see that as a huge deal, but something that will have to be dealt with eventually. Then, there was the A/C going out in my car. We paid $100 for a fix that only worked for two days before it gave out again. It can wait until Spring/early Summer before it has to be fixed, but it still makes me angry. Next, my radar detector was stolen and I got a ticket the next day. The radar detector is a must-have item for me. Buying a new one is most likely less expensive than the tickets I will rack up without it.

That’s three pretty major unexpected expenses in a short period of time, but that’s not all! Anyone want to know what happened this weekend? Our basement drain backed up and our washer broke all in one day. The drain isn’t a huge issue because we don’t own the house. My boss (and landlord) will foot the bill for that one but the washer? That’s one heck of an unexpected expense and one that can’t really wait. With a baby in the house I do laundry nearly every day and I don’t have time to go to a laundromat. We haven’t decided whether to try to get the washer fixed (only about 6 yrs old) or to just buy a new one. I’m guessing a repair bill would be at least half of what a new one would cost anyway and maybe more depending on parts/labor.

We do have a little bit of money back in savings but I was planning to use a little of that for a weekend trip we have coming up (where I’ll finally get to meet my almost 1-year-old niece!) and the rest was being saved up for taxes. I’m just tired of never having enough money to go around. I’m tired of living on credit cards and being in debt. Every time I have the slightest hope of being able to crawl out from this mess we’re in something else happens.

I’m just hoping and praying that nothing else major happens for a while so we can try (once again) to get caught up.

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Can I Just Go To Sleep And Wake Up Next Week?

Published by dee on October 22, 2008

This has not been my week.

The weekend was good, but I still didn’t get nearly enough things done around the house. I did make a yummy dessert for dinner Saturday night and got to spend a little time sewing and taking photos, so that kind of makes up for the lack of housekeeping. Unfortunately, the housekeeping still has to be done and there will just be more to do by the time I get around to it.

The weekend did not end well though. I really should consider it the beginning of a horrible week I guess since it started Sunday night. I had fully intended to get the kids to bed Sunday night and then spend some time writing Evie’s 7 month letter while Hubby and I enjoyed our Sunday night shows. I suppose that was my first mistake – actually planning to do something. I suppose I should have known better.

Both kids decided that sleeping was unnecessary that night. Zach refused over and over again to go to bed. Once he was finally in bed he kept getting up all night long. Evie also refused to go to bed. Every time I tried to lay her down she would wake up crying. Eventually both restless kids ended up in bed with me which meant very little sleep for any of us. Hubby was smart and sent to sleep in Zach’s bed. He was the only one that got any solid sleep that night.

Monday morning was a rush because I had forgotten to pack the bags we needed the night before. I also had to pack up an extra bag for the kids because I had a meeting after work and needed to take them to my mom’s for the evening. Zach needed a quick bath because the restlessness during the night resulted in a wet bed the next morning. I’m not sure how I even made it to work, but I did…eventually.

I skipped out on work a few minutes early, rushed to day care, rushed through McDonald’s and back to my mom’s with the kids. Then I scarfed down my sandwich, nursed Evie and was out the door for my meeting. The meeting actually went very well and I left in a good mood. I picked the kids up and headed home. Apparently, when I got home and unloaded the kids and our fifty million bags I forgot to lock my car.

I woke up Tuesday morning in a great mood. Evie had slept through the night until 6:45, which meant I got a great night’s sleep. Zach wasn’t too difficult that morning and we headed out the door almost on time. Just as I pulled out of the driveway, I noticed something odd. There was a plug missing from the cigarette lighter in the car. At first I thought Hubby had just grabbed his phone charger out of the car, but it was still there. I racked my brain to figure out what else was missing and then it hit me. My radar detector was gone. I called Hubby just to make sure he hadn’t grabbed it for some reason, but I pretty much knew that he wouldn’t have taken it. While I was talking to him I also realized that the ash tray full of change was also missing. Nothing else seemed to be bothered. All of the cd’s were still there. The stereo and Hubby’s expensive sunglasses were still there. I was pretty pissed off that the radar detector was gone, but what bothered me even more is that someone was in my car.

The worst part was that it was all my fault. I was the one that left the car unlocked. It is possible that it would have happened anyway and that I would have a broken window on top of it all, but I still feel like it is my fault for being stupid.

The rest of Tuesday wasn’t so bad, except that I couldn’t really focus and Evie decided not to sleep again. Then I got up this morning, drove the kids to day care and got pulled over for speeding. I knew as soon as I looked at my speedometer that it was coming. I drive through a school zone ever morning and I know to slow down there but for some reason I was spacing off. He clocked me going 38 mph. Fortunately, the cop was a nice one and I have a pretty clean driving record. He ended up giving me a $12 citation for not wearing a seat belt (even though I was wearing it) instead of the $100+ ticket that I should have gotten for speeding in a school zone. I completely lucked out. I’m not sure how I got so lucky, but I thanked him profusely as he walked away. The worst part is that I have to drive by there every day and now he’ll be watching for me.

So, that’s pretty much it. It has just been a really crappy week so far. Plus it is cold and dark and rainy outside. I just want to crawl back in bed and stay there until next week. It has to get better, right?

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Not Sure Whether To Be Excited or Sad

Published by dee on October 14, 2008

Evie hit two more milestones in the last week. I’m so excited to see her doing new things, but at the same time I’m very sad that it is going by so quickly. Here are a couple videos of Evie’s new tricks. Just ignore the background noise and animals (camera hogs!).

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