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Category: Life

2 kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and 1 husband – life isn’t perfect, but it is what we make it

Working on the Budget

Does anybody know of a way that I can get paid to read blogs? I’m pretty sure I could become a millionaire overnight and solve all of my financial issues. I could even get paid for doing two jobs at once!

I would love to make money from my blog like Dooce but I’m just not that talented and not that many people are interested in my life. Although, I do think that Zach is almost as cute at Leta.

I’m seriously wanting to look into some part-time work from home type of opportunities. If anyone has any suggestions please let me know.

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Where is my head?

I’m sitting here right now eating carrots and ranch dressing for breakfast.  Why, you may ask?  Because my breakfast is either sitting at home on the counter or it is in the diaper bag at day care.  It certainly was not in my purse or lunch bag where it was supposed to be.  I am SO GLAD it is Friday!

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All About Perspective

Lastnight I was digging through some old boxes of clothes.  I have always been a bit of a packrat and I save everything, including clothes that no longer fit.  Most of the clothes in these particular boxes are from 4-6 years ago.  During those couple of years, I went through a divorce and a major depression where I lost a lot of weight and was probably at the smallest size of my adult life.  Then, as I put my life back together, I started gaining the weight back…plus some.  And now, as I’ve written about, I’m finally making some changes and losing the extra pounds.  I’ve lost enough now that my clothes are hanging on me and I had to dig out some smaller sizes to wear to work.

As I was looking through my old clothes I was surprised at the memories that they brought back.  I held up a pair of pants and can remember thinking how fat I was getting when I had to buy them.  They fit me perfectly now and I was amazed that I could fit into such a small size.  They are 2 sizes smaller than my old "regular" size, and 3 sizes smaller than my post-pregnancy size.  It is funny how differently I think of things like that now. 

I grew up my entire life thinking that I was fat.  I always hated wearing shorts or short skirts because I thought my legs were too chubby.  When I look back at pictures of myself I am surprised at just how thin I really was.  I did go through chubby phases as most kids do, but they were for short periods of time.  I don’t know who to blame for my distorted reality, but sometimes I wish I could go back and re-live some of my childhood years.  I think I would have enjoyed myself more if I was happier with my body.  I wouldn’t have been so self-conscious all the time.  I may have even been a tad bit more outgoing.  I was always bigger than the other girls in my class because of my body structure, but I really wasn’t fat.

I struggle every day with the whole body image thing.  I am still overweight based on America’s standards, but I don’t look so bad (at least that’s what I try to tell myself).  I do feel much better about myself after losing 22 pounds, but I still have a long ways to go.  I would like to lose another 25-35 pounds by this summer.  I need to get myself down to the basement and start working out and building up some muscle.  The dieting is working but if I lose much more without working the muscles I will just end up looking like a bag of droopy skin.

I am proud of myself for making a change.  I really want to set a good example for Zach when it comes to eating and exercising so that he doesn’t have to deal with the same issues I did growing up (yes, boys have these problems too).  I want him to be proud to call me his mom.  I am losing the weight for myself, but I’m not sure I ever would have committed to it without Zach.  I don’t want to be a fat mom.  I want to be able to run and play with him as he grows up.  I want to be able to put on a swimsuit and run around in the sprinkler without being embarrassed.

More than anything, I just want to feel good about myself.  I’m getting there, but I’m not quite there yet.  I think I can be, but it is going to take a lot more work, both on my body and my mind.

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Tuesday Blues

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Don’t ya just hate Tuesdays that feel like Mondays?  I suppose the good news is that it really is Tuesday and that means there are only 3 more work days left this week after today.  I sure could use another day off though.  We had a wonderful weekend.  Thanks to all the help from Amy, my New Year’s party was quite successful.  I’m pretty sure everyone had a really great time.  I got gloriously drunk on Amy’s awesome margarita’s and a few glasses of champagne.  It was the first time I have allowed myself to over indulge since November of 2004, so I really enjoyed myself. 

Almost everybody at the party crashed at my house after the party.  Hubby got up and fixed everyone some eggs and toast for breakfast.  Then, my sister and her family stuck around and hung out with us for most of the day on Sunday.  After everyone finally left, hubby and I did a quick clean-up of the house and then settled down to relax and watch a movie.

Monday we slept in late (well, as late as possible with a 6-month-old baby), lounged around the house for a bit, and ran a couple errands.  Then we dropped Zach off with my mom for a while so Amy, hubby and I could have a little adult time.  We grabbed some dinner and then headed out to Dave & Buster’s to meet up with some friends of Amy’s.  We ended up not seeing much of her friends, but we did get to meet them and chat for a few minutes.  Amy and I had a good time anyway.  Hubby was not so impressed with the place, but I thought it was fun.

After that, we picked Zach up and headed home.  Amy and I sat up and talked for a bit before finally saying good-night.  Today we had to return to the real world.  Amy packed her bags and is heading back to Oregon.  Zach went back to Day Care.  Hubby and I had to go back to work.

I suppose the holidays are officially over now.  In a way, I’m glad because I’m not really sure how much more I could take of the craziness.  But, at the same time, I think sometimes I thrive on the craziness.  Tonight I’ll go home and it will just be me, hubby, and Zach.  It will be quiet.  Perhaps too quiet.

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Birthdays, Parties, and Sleep

This week is going by so fast and I still have so much to do before the end of the year, so I’m blogging instead.  I still want to write about our trip and Christmas, but there is too much to write and I just don’t have the time to devote to it.  Besides, there is stuff going on right now that I want to write about instead.

For one thing, my friend Amy is in town for a few days.  She got in town lastnight and we got together with Lisa (the one who bumped me into hubby on the dance floor many years ago) who was celebrating her birthday.  We all went to eat at Manny’s, one of the most yummy mexican places in KC.  Somebody let it slip that Lisa was having a birthday, so she got a free dessert and this wonderful sombrero to remember the evening by.
Sombrero

Fortunately for me (not so much for her) Amy just happens to be here the day that I have no baby-sitter for Zach so she is staying at the house with him today.  His baby-sitter is on vacation so my sister watched him Tuesday and Wednesday and hubby is off on Friday so he can watch him, but I was kinda stuck today.  I’m so glad that she was willing to keep him.  Otherwise he would be here at work with me and I would get nothing done at all.

I am looking forward to spending some time visiting with Amy too.  Since she lives so damn far away, I only get to see her a couple of times a year when she comes back to visit her family.  Lisa and I are trying really hard to convince her to move back, but she seems to have her mind set on California as her next home.  Guess we’ll see what happens.

Oh yeah, somehow, on top of all the other stuff I need to do I managed to let myself get roped into convinced to throw a New Year’s Eve party.  My sister wanted to have a little get-together, but her house is too small to have very many people over so she decided that we needed to have it at my house instead.  It sounded like a great idea at first, but now that it is getting closer I’m not so sure.  I still need to clean my house, plan out food and drinks, buy food and drinks, and mentally prepare myself to have a bunch of people over.  I’m sure we’ll all have a good time, but it’s only two days away now, and I’m not even close to being ready. 

I’m pretty sure that if I could just get some sleep everything would be better, but between my stuffy nose and cough and Zach’s stuffy nose and cough I’m up most of the night.  I’m almost ready to hand Zach off to my mom just for one night so I can get some good solid sleep but I worry about him waking up and wanting to nurse and me not being there.  Perhaps one of these days I’ll get gutsy and do it…when I’m tired enough.

I suppose I should get back to work before I babble on any more.  It’s just so hard to work when you don’t want to!

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Teaser

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Still no time to write so I thought I would tease you a bit with a picture of Zach.  To see the rest of my Christmas pics, you can click on my Flickr thingy over there —>

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