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Category: Life

2 kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and 1 husband – life isn’t perfect, but it is what we make it

Why Do I Do That?

Published by dee on May 17, 2006

As I was leaving Zach’s day care yesterday, another parent and I were having a conversation.  We were about to say our good-byes when she stopped and said, "You look really nice today."  I replied back with "Thanks, my regular clothes were all dirty and I had to dig out something else to wear."  I don’t know why I felt like I had to say that.  I couldn’t just accept the compliment.  Why couldn’t I just let her think that I looked nice because I wanted to look nice?

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Because We Need More Chaos In Our Lives

Published by dee on May 15, 2006

So I survived my very first Mother’s Day.  It was actually a very nice day.  Really, the whole weekend was pretty nice.  We spent Mother’s Day with my mom, my sister, brother, and their families.  We took my mom out for a feast at our favorite mexican restaurant.  All of us mothers indulged in a yummy (very strong) margarita with our meals.  I think that may have been the first time I have ever gotten buzzed on Sunday afternoon.

After we ate everyone came back to my house and watched some movies, then my mom and I made some curtains for Zach’s room.  I’ve been wanting to get some curtains up in there since before he was born.  Finally, almost a year later, we have curtains!  I still have to buy the curtain rods before I can hang them up, but I think they are going to look great.

JoseMy brother and his wife brought their new "baby" over to show off.  For me, it was love at first site.  They have a new little Chihauhau puppy named Jose that is just adorable.  When we got our dog we wanted a small dog.  We couldn’t afford to get a purebred, so we ended up going to the local shelter and adopting a dog that we were assured would stay small.  Now our small dog weighs about 50 pounds and is probably taller than me when he stand up on his hind legs.  So, when I saw their cute little mini dog, I decided that I really want one.  I’m not sure if I’ll get one, but my SIL was going to check with the people they got it from and see if there are any left.  If there are, I will be very tempted!

Hubby and I got along pretty good this weekend which was nice for a change.  It was at least a step in the right direction. 

I took some time for myself on Saturday and got in a little retail therapy.  I spent most of that time in craft stores scanning the shelves for new projects (because I have so much free time these days to do crafts).   I ended up buying supplies for Zach’s curtains, yarn for a baby blanket for Zach’s baby-sitter, and one of those kits to make the fleece tie blankets for Zach.  I made Zach’s blanket Saturday night (soft and fuzzy and he loves it) and the curtains on Sunday so now I need to get started on the baby blanket.  I really enjoyed getting some crafty time in.  I feel like I accomplished something, plus that kind of stuff really relaxes me.

Also, hubby kind of gave the ok this weekend to start trying for baby #2.  I’m pretty sure he had ulterior motives, but we’ve been going back and forth on this for a while now.  I’m not sure I’m quite ready, but now I at least know that he is.  We really need to work some issues out before I get pregnant again.   Plus, there is still the whole money issue which I prefer to ignore but will have to figure out before then.  I’m feeling much richer sitting here with my bonus check in my hand!

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The One With No Title

Published by dee on May 11, 2006

Sometimes I really have to work hard not to totally spill my guts to the internet.  As honest as I tend to be here and as much as I say that I really shouldn’t, there are some things that are just not meant to be shared.  The really funny part is that if you met me in person, I would most likely not say more than "Um, hi."  But, if I can type it and share it with the whole world over the internet, I’m practically an open book.  I never would have thought that little shy me could talk so openly about my life with perfect strangers.  Of course, you really aren’t strangers because I read most of your blogs too, so I guess I kinda know you in a weird stalker sort of way.

So, I have about a gazillion things running through my head right now but I can’t share all of them.  Actually, I may not share much at all because in the time it took me to write that last paragraph I have forgotten the other things I wanted to write about.

While I try to remember the point of this post I will lead you elsewhere.  Just remember to come back when you are done.  During my morning blog readings I ran across a couple of things that made me very, very sad.  Ok, so I cried.  At work.  The first one is here.  That is what started me with the whole crying thing.  After I finished wiping away the tears, I went here and saw what Amanda is doing and again, I was touched.  I don’t have the extra funds today, but when I do I plan to go back and send in my donation.  If you have an extra buck or two, I would encourage you to do the same.

It really does amaze me just how much you can care about someone you have never met in real life.  When you read about someone’s struggles, hopes, fears, and even the mundane day-to-day happenings of their life, you get to know them.  You start to care about them.  They become your friends.  This phenomenon still amazes me.

And now, I must rush away because I just got an e-mail telling me my baby is sick and running a fever.  Hopefully I’ll come back and remember what I was planning on writing earlier because this totally drifted away from it.

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Hump Day: Can This Week Get Any Longer?

Published by dee on May 10, 2006

I am so glad that it is finally Wednesday.  I have yet to find any real pleasantness in this week and really, I am trying. 

Zach is teething.  Plus, on top of the teething, he has recently turned into a snot factory with a raging cough.  All of those combined are keeping him up at night, which means that I am up at night too.  Usually if he wakes up at night I can stick a pacifier in his mouth, cuddle with him for a few minutes, and he is back asleep.  That method has not worked at all this week.  When he wakes up he is up for a minimum of 30 minutes and the only way I can get him back to sleep is to give him a bottle.  My body had just started really adjusting to sleeping through the night again and this is really throwing me off.

Lastnight I pretty much got told by hubby that I was only getting a card for Mother’s Day, but that he would make Zach sign it.  Sure feels good to be appreciated.  Thanks so much!  Was it really necessary to tell me that?  It would have been enough of a blow when you gave me the card.

So, I said yesterday I was focusing on positive things, right?

Zach’s baby-sitter has her ultrasound tomorrow and will hopefully find out whether she’s having a boy or girl.  I’m almost as excited as she is I think!  I’m ready to go buy some pink yarn and start making a cute little baby blanket and possibly a matching hat.

My first article that I submitted to Creative Reporter got published yesterday.  That’s a start, right?

There are only 2 1/2 more work days this week.

The End.

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Positive Thoughts

Published by dee on May 9, 2006

The last couple of weeks haven’t been too great for me.  I’ve kind of been on a downward spiral and trying desperately to pull myself out of it.  Sometimes life just gets to be more than what I can handle.  Saturday night I was at a party and everyone was having a great time…except me.  I just couldn’t shake the feelings I was having.  I should have been enjoying myself, but instead was wallowing in my depression.

No one really seemed to notice except for my sister.  I can usually hide things pretty well, but I guess she saw through me.  We had a talk about some things that did seem to help a little.  It was really her talking about her problems, but they were similar to mine and it made me feel a little better.  I was able to get a couple of things off my chest that have been weighing me down.  For once, I think she actually understood what I was feeling.  Nobody else I know really gets it because they haven’t been in the same situation.

Since Saturday night I have really been trying to focus on the positive things in my life.  I spent all day Sunday actually relaxing at my sister’s house.  I even snuggled up with hubby on the couch for a while and didn’t mind it so much.  I watched Zach and his cousins play together and enjoyed being with my family. 

I’ve also been really focusing on Zach and all of his recent accomplishments.  He can now take 2-3 steps at a time before he falls down.  Plus, two more teeth broke through lastnight (it was so lovely when he woke up screaming at 4:30 because of it too).  And, did you see that last post?  He is learning to use his toys as ladders!  I’m never going to be able to contain him again!

When I keep my mind on the positive, I don’t get quite as down about the negative stuff.  I know it is still looming underneath, but as usual, I’m just pushing it away and trying not to think about it.  I’m sure it will come back up to the surface soon, but in the meantime I’m just going to try to enjoy myself.

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A Mommy Moment

Published by dee on May 8, 2006

Saturday morning I woke up at 7:30 a.m. to the familiar sound of Zach chatting away through the baby monitor.  I layed there and listened to him for a few minutes with a smile on my face before climbing out of bed.  Then I stumbled into the kitchen to fix him a cup of milk and headed back to his room.  As I cracked his door open, I heard a squeal of delight.  I looked up to see a huge smile on the face of my beautiful baby boy.

As has become our usual Saturday morning custom, I picked Zach up and took him to the living room.  I turned the TV on and chose a recorded episode of Jack’s Big Music Show from the Tivo.  Zach cuddled up in my lap, drank his milk, and ate a few cheerios from my hand as he bounced to the music.  Once his belly was full, he was ready to get down and play.  I sat, perfectly content, watching him fiddle with each toy as he removed it from his toy bin.

After playing for a while, he started getting fussy and was ready for his morning nap.  While he was napping, hubby and I decided to watch a movie.  Just as the movie was getting toward the end, Zach woke back up.  I brought him back into the living room to play with his toys while we finished the movie.  He wasn’t very interested in the toys, however, instead choosing to climb up onto my lap and snuggle  with me.

As the movie ended, hubby and I started tickling and playing with Zach, trying to hear that little giggle that brings so much joy to our lives.  Zach wasn’t so much in a ticklish mood, choosing instead to curl back up in my lap and give hugs and kisses.  As I hugged my son, suddenly I got a choked up feeling in the back of my throat and tears started welling up in my eyes.  As I looked at him, all of the love that I feel for my son came rushing at me and all I could think was "I made this."  I held him tight and vowed to myself that I would never, under any circumstances, forget the feeling I had right at that second.  Motherhood is so awesome.

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