The last couple of weeks haven’t been too great for me. I’ve kind of been on a downward spiral and trying desperately to pull myself out of it. Sometimes life just gets to be more than what I can handle. Saturday night I was at a party and everyone was having a great time…except me. I just couldn’t shake the feelings I was having. I should have been enjoying myself, but instead was wallowing in my depression.
No one really seemed to notice except for my sister. I can usually hide things pretty well, but I guess she saw through me. We had a talk about some things that did seem to help a little. It was really her talking about her problems, but they were similar to mine and it made me feel a little better. I was able to get a couple of things off my chest that have been weighing me down. For once, I think she actually understood what I was feeling. Nobody else I know really gets it because they haven’t been in the same situation.
Since Saturday night I have really been trying to focus on the positive things in my life. I spent all day Sunday actually relaxing at my sister’s house. I even snuggled up with hubby on the couch for a while and didn’t mind it so much. I watched Zach and his cousins play together and enjoyed being with my family.
I’ve also been really focusing on Zach and all of his recent accomplishments. He can now take 2-3 steps at a time before he falls down. Plus, two more teeth broke through lastnight (it was so lovely when he woke up screaming at 4:30 because of it too). And, did you see that last post? He is learning to use his toys as ladders! I’m never going to be able to contain him again!
When I keep my mind on the positive, I don’t get quite as down about the negative stuff. I know it is still looming underneath, but as usual, I’m just pushing it away and trying not to think about it. I’m sure it will come back up to the surface soon, but in the meantime I’m just going to try to enjoy myself.