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Category: Kids & Parenting

I’m Not The Best at Making Decisions

Published by dee on March 10, 2011

Never in my 33 years of life have I dreaded summer. I have always looked forward to it. I love the sunshine. I love the heat (as long as I have air conditioning available when I want it). I love splashing in the water with my kids, taking trips to the lake, BBQ’s, and all of the other fun stuff that comes with summer.

This summer, however, there’s a new component – trying to figure out what to do with Zach while school’s out. This is filling me with so much anxiety right now that I can’t even think about the joys of summer yet. It’s complicated this year. If Evie was on school break too, I would hire a sitter to come to our house and call it good. I seriously doubt I could find a sitter to come to the house for what I can pay for only one child. If both kids were home it would be much more feasible, but I’m not ready to take her out of the day care that we love (it already makes me sad to think about putting her in preschool).

I’m not really sure where else to look at this point. I’ve checked with the YMCA day camps and they are a bit more pricey than what I can pay. His old preschool has a school-age program in the summer, but he wasn’t very happy there towards the end and says he doesn’t want to go back there. I’m sure there have to be more day camp programs around, but I haven’t found them yet, at least not ones that we can afford.

It seems odd that we can’t afford day camp costs, considering that we paid for full-time day care for the first five years of his life. Those years were a big struggle financially, especially after his sister came along. Now that we finally have a little bit of breathing room (thank you public school system!), adding on another $140-160 a week seems like a lot of money.

Then there’s the other issue that’s staring me in the face. Now that we know he has some definite sensory issues, I worry about introducing him to a new situation. What if we put him in a summer camp and he just can’t handle it? It took us several months of school before I felt like things were under control and I feel like we’ll be starting all over again. I don’t want the poor kid to be miserable all summer because he’s put in a situation that makes him uncomfortable. For my own comfort, I need to know that he’s somewhere that can handle his quirks and can manage a meltdown if/when it happens. I would hate to think that all the work we’ve done with him over the last few months would be blown because he isn’t in a place where he can get the support he needs.

So I’m stuck. I know I still have two and a half months or so to figure it all out, but I’m a little stressed out about it right now. Parenting brings so many challenges, but deciding who is going to care for my child when I can’t is the most challenging thing I’ve ever had to do. I never feel like I’m making the right decision, although I have been super lucky a couple of times. I guess I just have to keep looking until I find something that feels right.

In the meantime, I’m sending him back to Evie’s day care for spring break next week (even though he thinks he’s too old for it). He’s not at all happy about it, but I tried to buffer the disappointment a little by signing him up for another session of swimming lessons. I can’t wait to see him in the water again. Not only does he love swimming, but he’s getting pretty darn good at it too!

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When Mommy Says No

Published by dee on March 8, 2011

…just ask Daddy!

I was trimming Evie’s nails after her bath when she asked me if she could have paint on them too. Since it was already bed time, I said no and told her she would have to wait until tomorrow night. Her response? “Daddy will. Daddy’s always nice.”

65/365 - Mommy said no, so she asked Daddy instead

Apparently she was right.

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Giving In

Published by dee on March 7, 2011

This weekend was a bit of a bust when it comes to the long to-do list I had carefully crafted on Friday. I think my lists are a little more ambitious that my body. I did get a few things checked off, but those were mostly the fun things. The not so fun things, like mail state tax returns and update budget spreadsheet, somehow were forgotten.

Friday night we stayed in, and after everyone went to bed, I stayed up and finished sewing Evie another skirt. My sewing is far from perfect, but I’m having fun experimenting and the skirts are turning out really cute.  I added a ribbon trim to the bottom of this one and love how it turned out. Sadly, my sewing machine decided to quit working just after I finished this one so I didn’t get to do any more this weekend. I will have to remedy that soon as I have a stack of fabric already cut for several more skirts.

64/365 - My little model

Saturday morning we had promised the kids each a surprise. Evie got to go to Grandma’s and play with her cousin, Caitlin. Zach got a trip to the movies with Mom and Dad to see Rango. It was a pretty cute movie, and included enough adult humor to keep it entertaining.

After the movie, we stopped at the pet store to invest a bit of our tax refund in the Tidy Cat Breeze cat litter system. We searched and searched and couldn’t find it in the store, so we were letting Zach look around at the animals. He was really into the fish and started asking the inevitable question, “Mommy, can we just get a goldfish?”

We stood firm for maybe a whole ten minutes. We already have enough pets to take care of. We don’t need any more. Then we started wavering a little bit. Maybe one fish wouldn’t be so bad. We started looking at the Betta fish. Before long I had a new fish tank in my arms, along with the necessary supplies. We decided on a Betta and went back to pick one out. That’s when we realized that the Breeze boxes we had been looking for were sitting just under the Betta fish display. We got the litter boxes (both with $10 off coupons on them!). Zach picked out his fish and proudly carried it up to the checkout counter.

After the required 24 hour tank set up time, Mario Oscar Perrin, the red Betta fish, is now happily swimming around in his new home. So far Zach has been very responsible in feeding him and he goes in to check on him often. The cats have also discovered this little moving thing and are quite interested in figuring out how to get their paw into the small opening on the top of the tank.

Mario

I’m just hoping we can keep him alive for a while.

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In the Eye of the Beholder

Published by dee on March 3, 2011

I had an off day today. Not a bad day, just a blah kind of day. A mixture of Spring fever and poor food choices most likely. But, it was a beautiful day so I decided to take the kids by the park after I picked them up tonight. They have been begging to go to the park for over a week now, so I figured we might as well get it in before the weather gets cruddy again.

I didn’t plan on taking pictures, but at the last minute I grabbed my little camera out of my purse for a few snapshots. I got a lot of blurry pics of the kids running and playing, but I managed to capture one that I just absolutely love. Evie wanted to get on the tire swing, and Zach came to join her a couple minutes later. I asked Evie to lean in close to Zach and I got my new favorite photo.

The photo isn’t perfect by any means. The focus is a little fuzzy. Zach’s glasses are tilted funny. There’s a pole coming out of Evie’s head. But to this mom of two kids who spend probably 75% of their time together these days fighting, it is a perfect photo because it proves there was a moment in time when everyone was smiling and happy.

This is why I love photography. Getting this photo changed my entire mood for the day. Well, maybe a little time out in the warm sunshine helped too.

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Joy of Love – Day 2

Published by dee on February 2, 2011

How She Looks

Now that I’ve learned the basics of my camera (though there is still LOTS more to learn), I’m trying to challenge myself more. One way I’m doing this is through my 365 project, but I also decided to join in Willette’s “The Joy of Love” class for the month of February. Each day there is a photo assignment to complete. Today’s topic was “How they look” which was just way too easy. As soon as I pulled my camera out, Evie started making faces at me. I love this face so much!

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Answers Only Lead To More Questions

Published by dee on January 28, 2011

Tuesday morning was our first meeting with Zach’s Occupational Therapist. I don’t know why I felt so nervous about this appointment, but I was. I was so anxious that even with a stop at McDonald’s for breakfast, we ended up being there 30 minutes early. I should note that I’m rarely ever early for anything, especially on a weekday morning.

Thankfully, Zach brought his DSi to keep him busy while we waited. The waiting room was very nice, decorated to entertain the kids. We didn’t end up waiting very long before they called us back. The OT had Zach start on an activity where he searched for small items stuck in a blob of putty. While he worked on that, she asked me questions. We went through all the basic questions, with her stopping for more details when necessary. As we talked, she went through some more activities with Zach. He got a little antsy at a couple of points, though he didn’t get too out of hand.

When she finished her questions, we finally got to the part I wanted to hear. Everything that I have been stressing about over the last several months was confirmed. Zachary definitely has some sensory integration/sensory processing problems. Most of his issues stem from the auditory and proprioceptive areas. She explained what this all means. Some of it I understand, some I don’t. I suppose that will come with time.

We left with a bunch of handouts to read, including some more book suggestions, activities to try at home and at school, and information specifically on proprioception. We have an appointment to go back on the 15th of February, where she will do some more specific activities (heavy work, etc.) with Zach to see what works the best for him. She said that the benefits of certain activities can last up to 8 hours after the activity. Again, I’m anxious to go back and see how this all works.

I still have mixed feelings about all of this.  In a way, it feels good to be validated, to know that I’m on the right track and that we’re finally getting somewhere. Yet, I also feel very overwhelmed. There is so much to learn still. We’ll need to make changes to our routine. We’ll need to incorporate more activities and breaks for Zach into our already busy schedule. There will be a lot of trying and failing before we figure out what really works for him and what doesn’t.

We’ll get there, this I’m sure of. There is just a long winding road to make our way through first.

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