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Month: October 2006

A Little Reflection

Lastnight when I was talking to Hubby about my blog, he asked me how long I have been doing it.  My response was that it had been a couple of years.  Today I looked back at my old blog and found that it has been almost three years that I’ve been blogging.  My first post was on November 17, 2003.

When I first started blogging, I had no idea really what blogging even was.  I had heard a lot about it and knew that it was really growing on the internet so I decided that I would start one just to check it out.  I was really interested in web design at the time so I figured I needed to learn about this blogging phenomenon.  My first few months of posts were pretty boring.  It was like reading a note that was passed around to your friends in jr. high school.  As I read more and more great bloggers, my writing style changed quite a bit.  I got more serious about my posts and other people started reading them.  I experimented with several different free blogging sites and after getting frustrated at the amount of down time most of them had decided to move to my own site.

By the time I moved here, I had several people following my blog and some regular commenters.  Some of those regulars have changed over time, but many of them are still here with me through my ups and downs.  I have come to rely on them for advice and comfort when I need it.  I have made friends that I hope to never lose contact with.  I have discovered a diverse social support group that I doubt I would ever find without my online world.

Through my blog I have become more outgoing, open, and honest with myself.  I may sometimes embellish things slightly for the sake of entertainment, but for the most part this is me.  I may not always remember details exactly as they happened but when I write about my life, I write it the way I remember and interepret it.  I have always feared being discovered by friends or family, but I chose to be truthful about my feelings anyway.

There has been a lot of negativitiy in the blogging world lately and several of my favorite bloggers have written about it.  I have tried not to get sucked into it and keep reminding myself that I write for me and for me only.  I know that I’m not the best writer and don’t have the most entertaining life, but my blog has changed my life.  Perhaps there have been some negative aspects, but I am finding ways to overcome and move past those.  I don’t know what I would do without my blog.  Life would go on but it would never be the same.

Over the next few weeks, or maybe months (depending on how long it takes), I am going to start copying some of my old posts over to this site.  I don’t plan to copy the “Man, I’m so bored!” type of posts, only those that are relevant to my life.  I’ll back date them so they are in the correct chronological order, and most of you won’t see them unless you go searching.  If, however, you are using a feed reader they will pop up.  Feel free to ignore them.  I just want to have everything all in one place.

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The Cat Is Out Of The Bag

Hubby now knows about the blog.  We had a nice conversation lastnight about it and I think it went rather well.  He didn’t seem too upset and didn’t get angry like I expected.  It felt good to talk about it with him and because things were going so good I was even able to discuss some other issues that I always try to avoid talking about.  I kind of feel strange today knowing that he may read whatever I write here, but I’m sure that will pass with time.  At first he said he wouldn’t read it, but then I think he wanted to so we’ll see what happens.  I’m pretty sure only good things will come of this.

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Highs and Lows

oct_06 312

This is what most of my weekend looked like. Nice, huh?  Zach has decided that he wants to do everything by himself with no help from anybody.  That includes the things that I normally help him with, like eating yogurt, applesauce, and other messy things.  I love that he’s showing this little streak of independence, but it sure does create a lot more work for me.

The weekend for the most part was fantastic.  I stayed home on Friday and ended up watching my two nephews as well as Zach.  We all had a really good time together.  It was fun to have my nephews without their parents being there.  As most kids, they are just little angels when Mom and Dad aren’t around.  It also allowed me to reconnect with my youngest nephew a little bit.  He’s very clingy to his Mommy and when she’s around you don’t get much of a chance with him.  The kids all enjoyed playing together and I enjoyed taking pictures of the three of them together.

Saturday morning hubby got up super early to take his mom to the airport.  I don’t think it really hit him until then just how much he was going to miss having her around.  I think I will miss her as well, but it has been nice just having the house to ourselves again.  He got back from the airport before Zach woke up and let me sleep in which was wonderful.

When I finally managed to pull myself out of bed, I had to rush around to get Zach and I ready to go to a birthday party for one of his day care buddies.  The party was fun, but a little boring as it ended up being only Zach, me, and the little boy’s family.  It was cold and rainy outside and almost everybody cancelled at the last minute.  I actually considered cancelling myself, but I’m glad I didn’t.  I would have felt really bad if no one had showed up.

After the birthday party, Zach and I headed over to my mom’s house and Hubby met us there.  My grandma was in town for the evening so we spent the rest of the day there until Zach started melting down (no nap all day) and we had to leave so we could put him to bed.  It was nice to see my Grandma and I know she loved seeing the boys again.  She kept commenting on how it reminded her of watching her own kids when they were little.  I could tell she was both happy and sad at the same time while she watched them.  I can only imagine what it would be like to sit there with your children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren and ponder the wonders of life.

Sunday was a day of mixed emotions for me.  I found out about some things that are going on in my dad’s life that really bother me.  I can’t go into much detail about this but here’s the short version.  My dad is a pastor and we attend his church almost every Sunday.  Right now I am both angry and disappointed at some individuals in the church that are making his life extremely difficult.  This is the first church I have attended in a very long time that I actually enjoy going to and up until now thought things were going pretty well there for my dad.  I should have known that things were going too good.  I absolutely hate church politics.  Church should be about love and fellowship and worship, not stabbing someone in the back when they aren’t looking.  I guess this is just another lesson that people are not what they seem to be.  It is disheartening to say the least.

Now, to bring things back up, head over to my VOX site and have a listen to KT Tunstall’s new song Ashes.  It makes me happy.

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I Should Have Known Better

I don’t know why I ever write a blog post saying that I have nothing to say because as soon as I do I think of a million and one things that I want to say. Maybe it is just a good use of reverse psychology.  Maybe all of those psych classes paid off after all.

First of all, I am really thinking about telling hubby about the blog.  I’m a little nervous about telling him about it because I have no idea what his reaction will be.  Hopefully he thinks it is cool and won’t give me too much crap about it, but there is a chance that he will get angry.  I really don’t want to do anything to piss him off right now because things are going really, really well.  But, I am to the point where I really feel like I need to tell him about it because the more and more involved I get in the blogging world, the more I want to share it with him.  There is also a need to share it with him if I am going to ever have a chance at explaining to him why I want to go meet someone off the internet that I don’t even know (like someone who happens to be coming to KC in the very near future who I would totally love to meet).  I realize that I probably should have never kept it from him in the first place, but I did and now I can’t figure out how to fix that.  And if someone could please get rid of those damn butterflies that keep finding their way to my tummy every time I think about this it would be much appreciated.

Remember back when I was really nervous and worked up about the in-laws coming?  Saturday morning it will all be over and it really hasn’t been all that bad.  In fact, the closer and closer it gets the sadder I am getting about it.  In all honesty (I can’t believe I’m about to say this) I am kind of starting to wish that they lived a little closer.  I will even admit that if they lived locally, I would let my MIL watch Zach while I’m at work and it wouldn’t bother me.  She really has been doing a great job with him and he is going to miss her SO very much after she leaves.  That said, I cannot wait to have my house back to myself.  I can’t wait to have an evening alone with my husband.  I also can’t wait to have sex and not have to worry about how much noise the creaky headboard makes.

On a whim yesterday I decided to stop by Payless and check out the selection.  I have been searching for some brown boots that I could afford to get me through winter to no avail.  Since I can’t find anything I like in the right price range (read: cheap) I decided to see if I could find some really, really, cheap shoes to get me by until I can find what I want.  I immediately found two pairs I liked and decided to get them both.  It wasn’t until after I got home that I realized they had the “buy one get one 1/2 off” sale going on.  Bonus!  I wore one of those pairs today to work and my feet have been cold all day.  Either the shoes suck or I need to get some warmer socks.  I’m not sure which.

I’m pretty sure there was something else I wanted to add, but there is only about 45 minutes left of my work day and I really have to get some things done so I can be sick tomorrow.

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Fun With Water

I don’t have much to say today and I really must get some work done because I may be *achoo!* sick tomorrow and not be able to come into work. So, instead of my rambling, I’ll leave you with these cute images of Zach in the bathtub because everybody loves pictures of babies kids in the tub.

Bath Time!

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You may delay, but time will not. *


I was browsing through my mom’s flickr page yesterday when I came across this.  This photo was taken about six months ago.  I can’t believe how much Zach has changed since then.  He still looks like such a baby in this picture.  In only six months he has gone from a cuddly little baby to an ornery little boy.

Unfortunately, my hair also looks just about as hideous now as it did in that picture.

*Quote by Benjamin Franklin

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