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Tag: moody

Current Mood


I gotta be honest. Staying home is starting to get to me more than I thought it would. Surprisingly, the weekends (which are significantly less demanding), are harder than the weekdays. Weekdays require getting up, getting my work done, making sure the kids have what they need for their school work and sticking to some sort of regular routine, even if it is incredibly flexible. Then the weekend hits and there is nothing to compel me to get out of bed, get dressed, or do much of anything at all.

Don’t get me wrong, there is plenty to do. I just have absolutely no motivation. Knowing that we are at home for at least another three weeks leaves absolutely no sense of urgency to get things done. I mean, why do it today when I know I’ll be here to do it tomorrow, or the next day, or the next day?

Adding on to my general lack of motivation is that I let myself run out of my ADHD meds. I made a trip to the pharmacy last week to fill them and managed to leave my prescription at home and I haven’t gotten back out again. Not helpful. Without my meds my motivation to do things is even less than normal. The funny part is I lived most of my life without them and was just fine. Now that I know how much better I can function with them, I hate the days when I miss a dose. Yesterday, for instance, I barely moved off of the couch.

My husband looked at me this morning and asked, “What’s wrong?”

My response? “Nothing. Everything.”

More than anything, I think I just miss the ability to go somewhere when I want to. As much of a homebody as I am, I miss being able to just hop in the car and go. My daughter is definitely feeling it as well. She was nearly in tears when I told her I couldn’t take her with me to the grocery store. She is desperate to just get out somewhere, even if just to buy groceries.

Really the toughest part is trying to make sure everyone else in my house is doing okay, even when I am feeling moody and distant myself. Yesterday was a rough day all around. The kids are tired of being cooped up and are fighting. Everybody is over-reacting to pretty much everything. I feel like I have to be the peacekeeper all the time for my own sanity, even when I don’t have the energy to deal with it all. I know how ridiculous it is, but I feel like I’m failing when they are not happy. So right now? Yep, feeling like a huge failure in that department.

The weather the last few days hasn’t helped at all either. It turned cold and rainy, which brought an abrupt stop to our walks and trampoline time for a few days. It is a bit warmer today, so a walk with the dog is definitely on the priority list – after I make a trip to the pharmacy for my meds. The meds are definitely essential.

I’m trying to turn things around today a bit. I got up and showered, got dressed, cleaned the kitchen, and made pancakes for the family. I am determined to get some exercise and accomplish a few things around the house today that will hopefully lift my mood and get me in the right headspace before we begin the work/school week tomorrow. I’m determined not to let myself sink too low, but I’m admitting that it is a struggle right now.

1 Comment

In the Eye of the Beholder

I had an off day today. Not a bad day, just a blah kind of day. A mixture of Spring fever and poor food choices most likely. But, it was a beautiful day so I decided to take the kids by the park after I picked them up tonight. They have been begging to go to the park for over a week now, so I figured we might as well get it in before the weather gets cruddy again.

I didn’t plan on taking pictures, but at the last minute I grabbed my little camera out of my purse for a few snapshots. I got a lot of blurry pics of the kids running and playing, but I managed to capture one that I just absolutely love. Evie wanted to get on the tire swing, and Zach came to join her a couple minutes later. I asked Evie to lean in close to Zach and I got my new favorite photo.

The photo isn’t perfect by any means. The focus is a little fuzzy. Zach’s glasses are tilted funny. There’s a pole coming out of Evie’s head. But to this mom of two kids who spend probably 75% of their time together these days fighting, it is a perfect photo because it proves there was a moment in time when everyone was smiling and happy.

This is why I love photography. Getting this photo changed my entire mood for the day. Well, maybe a little time out in the warm sunshine helped too.

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