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Tag: Family

What Makes Us

Our experiences make us who we are. We hear that simple statement so many times during our lives, albeit in many different forms. But it’s true, isn’t it? Everything that happens in our lifetime molds and shapes us into who we are from infancy through our eventual death.

This idea of experience has hit me several times during the last several days, both through personal challenges and exterior observations. I’ve been thinking a lot about how my lifetime experiences have shaped me into who I am now, and about how I am shaping those around me simply by being me. I see glimpses of myself in my kids, both good and bad at times.

I think about Caleb, who spent the last 9 months or so attending Montessori school – an opportunity my other two children did not have. He learned a lot of skills there that they will learn or have learned over time, through home or other sources, but he has had this amazing experience that they will never have.

My daughter is getting ready to head off to a new school next year where she will have so many opportunities for learning beyond what is offerered in a traditional school classroom. How will that change her and shape her life differently than if she continued on her current path? I can’t wait to see.

My oldest son, who has struggled for so long, had the best school year he has ever had thanks to a teacher who really cared about finding ways to make things work for him. Changing a few things both environmentally and procedurally made a huge difference for him. He now has a positive outlook on school where it has always been a little negative.

Our work environments, our social environments, our Spirituality, our teachers and mentors, our friendships – all of it makes us who we are. I am not the same person I was even three short years ago. That time in my life seem so far away now. Not that life is perfect by any means, but losing my job may have been one of the best things that ever happened to me. It forced me to change my environment and get out of my comfort zone where I could grow instead of remaining stagnant.

I’m not even sure where I’m going with this rambling, disjointed entry so I’m just going to publish it and call it good. This is just what I’ve been thinking about.

**random picture of my boy just because!

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Caleb – 16 Months

16 Months!

Dear Caleb,

My dear, sweet, loving, cuddly, little miracle surprise baby, I love you with all my heart. I’ll admit that when I found out I was pregnant with you I was scared. I wasn’t sure how I would manage to keep up with another baby, but I fell in love with you and all of those worries went away. I honestly cannot imagine what our family would be without you in it any more. You truly do complete us. It melts my heart to see the way your big brother and sister adore you. I just can’t see it being any other way.

However, the last few months have been extremely challenging for all of us. You see, you started walking, and with that new found ability to move (fast!) you also gained a new sense of independence…and attitude. I’m really proud of all of the new advances you are making, I really am. I just need you to stop every once in a while and take a break from touching and climbing and jumping off of ALL THE THINGS! You are quite a force to be reckoned with these days and you are wearing this old mama out.

There really is no containing you any more, aside from strapping you in a car seat, which causes screams that bring the neighbors running to see what is wrong (not really, but I’m surprised they haven’t yet). You have already managed to climb over the side of your crib, have nearly gotten over the side of the pack ‘n’ play, have escaped your “baby jail”, and figured out how to open doors. This week you also managed to escape from the seat of a shopping cart (while strapped in – thankfully I turned back around at just the right second) and the stroller (while also strapped in). Oh, and also the high chair. When you are done eating you are outta there, one way or another. The only thing you have not managed to break and/or escape from (as long as it is properly closed) is the living room gate, but I’m sure that time is coming.

Once you have managed to escape from whatever latest contraption we were trying to contain you in, you are into E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G! I am not exaggerating. You seriously have to have someone 1-on-1 with you at all times to keep you from getting into things that you shouldn’t. Perhaps I have not baby proofed as well as I should have because I got a little relaxed with the other two being older, but pretty much if there is anything within your sight that you want, you will find a way to get to it. I have found you standing on top of tables, on top of the back of the sofa and chairs in the living room, and even standing on toys so you could reach just a little farther. There is no stopping you.

Your other favorite pastime seems to be annoying your older brother. One of your favorite things to do is to turn the TV off when he is mid-show, or even worse, in a crucial part of a video game. You also constantly grab his glasses from his face (and mine) which gets old really quick. He’ll let you slide a couple times, but after that he gets a little angry. You better watch out because paybacks are hell, and boy do you have it coming! It’s a good thing that he loves you so much, because there is no one else he would be so patient with.

And can we just talk about this sleep thing for a minute? It took me 13 months, yes THIRTEEN MONTHS, to finally get you sleeping through the night in your own bed. I swear the first morning I woke up and realized you were still asleep in your crib I heard a choir of angels singing above me. There were 8 weeks or so of you doing this pretty much every night, with a few exceptions while you were trying to cut those horrid molars, but hey, that’s understandable. Then came vacation. You actually did amazingly well while we were out of town, despite the crazy schedule, sporadic naps, and getting to bed late pretty much every night. You ended up in bed with mom and dad a couple of times, but it was a nice big king size bed and there was plenty of room. The trouble happened when we came home.

Once we arrived back home from our trip, you forgot how to sleep without me attached to you. In fact, you pretty much forgot how to do anything without me attached to you. I can barely put you down without you screaming (unless there is food visible and within your reach, anyway). Bedtime is horrible. You scream and scream and scream until I finally give in because I’m afraid you are going to scream your lungs up. Eventually, I can get you to sleep by nursing you (which we were nearly done with before vacation but you have now let me know in no uncertain terms that the boobies are still yours) and then put you down in your bed. Some nights that works and you sleep through most of the night before the screaming commences, but others it doesn’t. Those nights are the ones when you wake up just as I try to lay you down and I wonder what on Earth ever possessed me to want to have these little screaming things called children. Ugh, mommy is tired, honey. So, you’ve ended up back in my bed more times that you should have lately and the end seems to be nowhere in sight. Seriously, mommy is tired. Sixteen months of not sleeping (shy of those 8 precious, glorious, weeks) is just too many. I need to sleep and so do you.

I know you have a lot going on. You are growing like a weed – 34 inches (>98th percentile – off the dang growth charts!) tall, and nearly 25 pounds. Plus, you just cut your first 4 molars and 4 incisors all seemingly at once – a total of 16 teeth! Besides all of the walking, climbing, and exploring, you are trying really hard to learn how to talk. You have several words that you use, but you spend a lot of time right now pointing and making sounds that we are supposed to translate into words.  Your favorite word seems to be “daddy” as you go around saying it over and over and over again all day long. Sadly, when he tries to pay attention to you, you push him away. You can also say mommy, zach, evie, hi, hello, please, this, bopbop, yay-ya, something that sounds similar to caleb, and many other words that you repeat when you hear them. You also have started dancing whenever you hear music. I love that you are doing this and often turn music on just so I can watch you. It is the cutest thing. We used to have lots of dance parties in our house and I kind of miss them.

It may seem like I’m complaining a lot, but the truth is, I really just want to remember every little bit of your babyness. It is flying by so fast. I feel like I miss out on so many moments with you because I’m busy working, or busy with your brother and sister. I struggle to find the time to just sit and snuggle, which is why when you wrap your arms and legs around me and won’t let go as I’m trying to put you to bed I don’t struggle with you very long. We go right back to my chair and snuggle until you fall asleep in my arms. I know just how quickly these days will pass and you will no longer want to sit and snuggle with mom. You will be grown before I know it, though I hope you’ll still come back for a hug now and then. Until then, I’ll cherish ever minute of time with you I can get.

I love you so much, my little monkey!

Love,

Mama

p.s. Sorry for the lack of photos. You don’t hold still long enough for me to take them anymore!

 

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Writing about not writing…or something

via Instagram http://instagr.am/p/NO139Ck-Re/

You know what I miss? The good old days of blogging before my life was crazy and chaotic. I’d sit down either in the evening or the beginning of the day and just write. It didn’t have to be anything important – just a few sentences here and there about what was on my mind. I didn’t know or care about page views or SEO. I had a handful of friends that read and commented and it didn’t matter because it was fun. I posted about the most mundane things that now I would only post on twitter or facebook.

These days I feel like most of what I have to say isn’t worthy of a blog post. There is no way I have the time to sit and type out my thoughts when I can barely even find the time to think them in the first place. So instead, I post a quick thought on Facebook (or Twitter if I’m really feeling the need for interaction). Most of those posts only go up because I have my iphone handy. My laptop sits dusty on the shelf at home. It was once my constant companion. Now it gets cracked open maybe once a week or so, sometimes less often than that.

Many of my old blog friends have stopped writing too. Their blogs sit stagnant. I miss their words. I miss the connections. I miss the conversations. I keep up with a few of them on facebook. I watch as their lives change, their babies grow older, and updates become fewer. I miss these friends, who were there for me when I shared the news of my first pregnancy, when I was going through difficult times, when I wanted to celebrate, when I “came out” and made my blog public. They were my community, my support, when I felt like I had no one else to turn to.

Times change. Lives change. I sit and look at my family, my three kids – when at one time I wasn’t sure I would be able to have children. The story of my life belongs in a completely different book now. My world revolves around those three amazing little people. I snap photos because I want to remember every second, every little smile, every giggle, but there is no time to write. I wish I could write it all down to read when I am older and my mind is losing the details, but life is moving too fast right now. I’m too busy living it.

This isn’t meant to be a good-bye post. I’m not closing up shop. Just something that has been on my mind the last few days.

(Since I’m not writing, I have added my Instagram feed to the blog to fill in some gaps. If it gets annoying to the few of you who are still reading, let me know.)

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From our Family to Yours

Stopping in from the craziness to wish you all a very Merry Christmas! We had a wonderful morning watching the kids open and enjoy their gifts and are finally finding some time to relax. We have been very blessed this year and can’t wait to see what is around the corner in 2012!

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Gender Revealed

Baby #3

Yesterday was the day that I feel like I’ve been waiting a million years for – the 20 week ultrasound!  Since we’re only allowed 2 extra people in the room, and I couldn’t choose between my 2 kids, I invited my mom to come along and take a look as baby got checked out.

The sonographer asked if we wanted to know the gender, to which I replied, “YES!!! TELL ME NOW!!!” (or something like that).

Then I sat back and waited patiently while she checked out and measured all the vital stuff and made sure we have a healthy baby in there.

Finally, she took a peek and there was absolutely no denying that we are having a baby BOY!

The little guy is measuring about a week and 2 days ahead of my original due date, so I’m anxious to see if my doc decides to change the date or if she thinks I’m just having a ginormous baby (which would not be at all surprising).  The original due date was set by an early ultrasound, so it may be that he’s just a big baby.  I’m all for having this baby a week earlier though!

Hubby made me promise not to tell the kids until we were all home, which nearly killed me, but I kept my mouth shut. When we finally told them, they were very excited. Evie, who has wanted a baby sister all along said, “Yay! I wanted a baby brother!”  Zach was thrilled as well since he’s been hoping for a boy the whole time.

And now I get to start digging through my basement and getting rid of all of the pink/purple girlie stuff…

 

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The Nephews

If you’ve been reading along for any amount of time, you know that I spend a lot of time with my nephews. My sister and I are really close and our kids are constantly begging to see each other. It is rare when we don’t see them at least once on the weekends. My sister asked me months ago if I would do the boys’ photos for their birthdays this year and we finally found a day to do them. I think they turned out pretty good, but as always, I learned that there are a few things I should do differently next time.

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p.s. You can thank my husband for this post as he has been complaining about the lack of of updates lately.

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