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Tag: breastfeeding

The End of an Era

(Before I get started, if you are reading this on my actual site, I apologize for the hideous look. I started playing with my template and then ran out of time to finish it…a few weeks ago. I’ll get around to it someday.)


Caleb has officially weaned himself. It has been eight days since he last breastfed (though we’ve been down to only a bedtime feeding for a while). It became apparent a few weeks ago that he was no longer satisfied with simply snuggling and nursing. He wanted to take his milk and roam around the room, which didn’t work so well when his milk was attached to my boob. I’ve been fighting the gymnastics and biting for a while now, so in a way I’m glad that he has decided to make this break. He will still occasionally tug on my shirt, but if I ask if he would like a cup, he’ll run to the kitchen and happily take a sippy cup with milk or water in it.

I have mixed feelings about all of this. On one hand, I’ve been ready to move on and have my body to myself again, but on the other, I already miss the snuggling and bonding, and the ability to instantly comfort him simply by lifting my shirt. And then there is the whole part of me that keeps saying, but he’s my BABYYYYYYYY! Not only that, but he’s my last baby. I’ll never get to experience that kind of bonding again. I know not everyone has a good experience with breastfeeding, but for me it was just absolutely lovely (not to say that I didn’t have some struggles, but overall it was good). I loved that I could provide for my children in that way and I am a little sad that it has come to an end. I spent over three years of my life (39 months total) nursing my babies – Caleb being the longest at 17 months. They each weaned themselves when they were ready. It just seems hard to believe that that part of my life is now done.

Caleb is a full-on walking, talking, opinionated toddler. Evie starts kindergarten in a couple of weeks, and Zach already has the attitude of a pre-teen at only eight years old. My babies are growing up, and while there are benefits to this (they are finally starting to do some chores!), right now I’m a little nostalgic for those baby years. I truly have no desire to have another baby. Our family is 100% complete as it is, but I’m still a little sad that I’ll never have the experience of holding my own newborn baby again. I’ll just have to find someone else’s baby to hold now and then.

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A Captured Moment


On Easter, while we were relaxing at my Dad’s house, my sister picked up my camera and took a few shots of me and Caleb just after a feeding. I have very few photos of the two of us. There are a few during those first days at the hospital, but other than that just a couple I’ve managed to click on my iphone.

I love these photos my sister took, not because they are particularly good of me, but because of the moment. When I look at this photo, I could tell you exactly what I was feeling. I love those moments of pure contentedness just after Caleb has nursed. He is totally comfortable and snuggley, usually about half asleep. These are the moments when I love to just sit in amazement of this little thing I have created. It is one of the things I miss the most since I’ve been back to work. I miss out on 3-4 feedings a day while he is at day care. When we get home, the evenings are so busy that I don’t get time to just sit and relish in the happiness of those sweet moments. This is what I was thinking about when she snapped those photos – how special that moment was and how grateful I was to have it captured.

Going back to work after maternity leave has been difficult with all three of my babies. It is so hard to leave them after only six short weeks, however, staying home has never been an option for me. In some ways, it was much easier this time, but in some ways it was much harder. After all, this time I know that there will be no more babies. Caleb is the last one and I want to cherish every single second.

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Chomp, Chomp, Suck

I would really like to write something, but do you see this sweet little angel here?


She’s not always so sweet.


Those little bitty teeth there? They are SHARP! Guess what she likes to do with them? BITE anything and everything that she comes into contact with, including my boobs. Not only does she like to bite the boobs, but she seems to think that if Mommy is around she should be nursing non-stop. I even resorted to giving her a bottle last night but she pushed it away and five minutes later was screaming for the boobs again. This one is going to be a nightmare to wean.

Yes, that sweet little angel is draining the life right out of me. So, if I’m not around much at least now you know why.

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