Sometimes when I’m watching TV, the emotions just come flying at me. Last night I was thrilled to see a new episode of Grey’s Anatomy. The whole situation with Izzie and the daughter that she gave up had me bawling. Then, seeing the little girl with Leukemia in the hospital bed really turned the faucets on. It got me thinking about what I would do if Zach were ever in that situation. I hate it when he so much as scrapes his knee. The thought of him being terminally ill is just not one I want to have in my mind.
When I finished my TiVo’d episode of Grey’s I got all caught up in the middle of October Road. I’ve really been wanting to watch that one but missed the first couple of episodes so I figured I’ll catch up on dvd later. For some reason I started watching this show mid-episode. Again, there was a little boy in a hospital bed. There was a scene where the mom was talking to him while he slept, telling him how much she loved him and all the things that they liked to do together. It choked me up. I don’t know if it was the mother/son thing or what, but it was all I could do to contain myself watching that scene. Hubby was laughing at me for actually having to grab a tissue, but I just couldn’t stop the waterworks.
It didn’t end there though. My thoughts wandered to all of the kids out there suffering from diseases, injured in car accidents, and on and on. I imagined the pain that the parents must feel seeing their child who is so much a part of themselves lying there helpless. I thought about how lucky I am, that I have never had to experience it. My heart aches for those who have. I thought about how no matter how old your child is, you will always ache when they are hurt, whether it be physical pain or emotional.
Then my thoughts turned to the tragedy at VA Tech. The whole thing seemed very surreal to me at first. I don’t know anyone personally who was affected by it, although some of my online acquaintances were. I suppose I just wanted to block it out because I have a hard time knowing that there are people out there who have no respect for human life. But last night I started thinking about the families and about all of the mothers and fathers who lost a son or daughter due to the actions of one disturbed man. I hurt for them. I cried for them. I cried for myself because I don’t know how I would ever move on if that happened to my family. The reality of the situation finally hit me.
Before I went to bed, I stopped in Zach’s room to tuck his blanket back around him. I looked at my precious boy lying there sleeping and thanked God that he was safe, at least for one night. I know that he will see much pain and sorrow in his lifetime, as every generation before him has. I can only hope that he will be able to reach past the pain and enjoy all of the good stuff life has to offer as well.