5 Years

Dear Hubby,

Five years ago today I stood in my Dad’s church (in a hideous dress that I bought at the last minute) with you, surrounded by your parents, my family, and a very few dear friends, to say “I Do”.  Some days it seems like only yesterday.  Some days it seems like it was decades ago.  When I think of all we have been through in the last five years I am amazed that we are still going strong.

I’ll never forget that boy with the Southern accent that I “bumped” into on the dance floor.  The look on your face–half laughing because you could see how embarrassed I was–as you said, “I’ll dance with you, girl,” has been forever burned into my memory.  That dance, and the ones that followed that night, changed my life and my heart forever.  I told Amy as much on the way home that night and am still happy to be able to say I was right.

From the very beginning, everything about you felt so natural.  I was with you every chance I could get from our first date on.  I somehow felt incomplete without you by my side and I had the gas bill to prove it!  I drove from OP to Independence almost every night to get just a few hours with you.  Then it was off to St. Louis on the weekends when you got transferred there.  If I wasn’t at work (or running home for a quick shower) I was with you.  I have to admit I was a little happy when you got laid off and moved up here for good. 

These days I still need you by my side every day.  We may not spend every minute together anymore, but I can still count on two hands the nights that we have been apart since our wedding day.  I may not express it often, but there is nothing more comforting than having you laying in bed next to me every night.

We have had so many joys and so many hardships over the years.  Sometimes I feel like we have had more than our share of the hard times.  There have been many times when I wondered if we would make it, but we always manage to pull through.  Having a child together was probably one of the most difficult things our relationship has been through, but it is also the best.  I know we still aren’t back to where we were before, but I think we’re going to get there.  Looking at that little face, a combination of you and me, makes everything worth it and I can’t wait to add another little mini-us to our family.

I have no doubt that God put you in my path for a reason.  I may complain and get frustrated at you for insignificant things, but no matter what I say or do, you always show me love and I regret that sometimes I do not do the same for you.  Last year around this time I felt like things were slipping away out of my grasp, but now I feel like I have a much firmer grip.  I hate that I questioned you, that I questioned us, but it only served to make me stronger.  I am amazed that you stuck by my side.

I hope that you aren’t offended by me sharing these thoughts here, but as you know, it is easier for me to write than to talk when it comes to my emotions.  You came into my life at a time when I had almost given up on love and together we learned that there was so much more to life and love than either one of us ever could have imagined.  I hope in future years our love continues to grow and that someday we will be celebrating fifty years instead of five.

Thank you for loving me the way that you do and for letting me be me.  When I married you I got so much more than I bargained for, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Love always,
Dee