Category: Life

2 kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and 1 husband – life isn’t perfect, but it is what we make it

Summer Goes Too Fast

Published by dee on May 27, 2009

What? You say it’s been a week already since I posted last? Nonsense. Oh, wait. It has. Let’s just say I’ve been a little busy. It’s not even officially summer yet and I already feel like it’s almost gone. We’re hitting that fun time of year when Hubby’s work suddenly picks up and he works late nearly every night. This leaves me to try to cook dinner by myself for two little screaming banshees who are starving when I pick them up from day care. Then they must have baths because they are filthy from playing outside in the dirt. Then they want to watch TV, read books, wrestle, hold me, play games, have a snack, and all kinds of other requests, cleverly delaying bed time because it isn’t dark yet! Therefore, bed time gets pushed back nearly every night almost an hour past when it should be which means that I lose my precious me time and by the time I do get there my brain is fried. Oh, and on top of that Evie is cutting her molars (3 in one week!) and has been more cranky and clingy than usual too.

(They’ve been very lovey with each other lately)

I have all these post ideas in my head, but I just can’t seem to find the time or the mental energy to get them out. I owe Miss Evie a 14 month letter, which I have started and can’t seem to finish. I have several one line drafts that haven’t progressed at all. Plus, I started thinking about the fact that Zachary will be 4 years old next month and I am sitting around wondering how in the heck that happened? He was just a baby, like last week right? And holy cow, I have another birthday party to plan and haven’t even started!

Regardless of how stressed out I am, we did manage to cram in some fun over Memorial Day weekend (which is the real point of this post). Thanks to Jenny over at Savvy Source, we got some free tickets to Jiggle Jam. We took the kids on Saturday, which just happened to be probably the hottest day of the year so far. Besides the fact that we spent the entire day melting in the sun, we had a lot of fun. Evie loved the music and Zach enjoyed playing in the bounce houses and fountains. We met up with Cagey and her two adorable kiddos for a while, which I really enjoyed. It was great to see them outside of the computer screen for a change! The kids’ babysitter, her sister, and nephews were there as well and we enjoyed visiting with them too.

Evie likes bellies. Anjali is not amused!

On Sunday, we headed up north to visit my dad and his wife at her parents’ home. They were staying there for the weekend and invited us up for a BBQ. My brother and sister and their families were there as well and we had a great time playing with the kids and just enjoying each other’s company.

Monday we stayed home and celebrated Memorial Day by cleaning the house. Exciting, huh? It had to be done, so it was nice that we had an extra day to fit it in.

Oh, and I should also mention that I read an entire book over the weekend. I only mention it because this is not something I normally do. It usually takes me about a month to find the time to read an entire book. This one, however, I just could not put down. Now I can’t wait to get my hands on the follow-up. I’ve been doing a lot more reading lately and I’m really enjoying it. I guess it’s the one good thing that comes from Hubby staying up late at night playing WoW.

And a few more pics for good measure…

My adorable niece, Caitlin

The girls messing up the T-ball game

A cute picture turned into an awesome picture thanks to the editing skillz of my friend Jen

P.S. If you’ve made it this far, then please go check out my latest review and giveaway! It’s a perfect gift for the little girl in your life! (Yes, family members can enter too!)

Comments closed

Best. Day. Ever.

Published by dee on May 17, 2009

Yesterday I took a personal day off of work. The kids’ sitter took a vacation day so instead of stressing out trying to find someone to take her place, I just decided to ask for the day off and spend it with the kids. I wanted to do something fun, just me and them.

We slept in, had a nice slow morning, then headed off to Deanna Rose Children’s Farmstead a little after 10:00. I went back and forth trying to decide what to do but finally decided on that because, well, it’s free. I figured Evie would love the animals (she’s really into our dogs and cats right now) and Zach would love the playground. I was a little nervous because I only took the single stroller, but Zach said he wanted to walk.

We had a great time walking around checking out all the animals. Zach was a little bummed that I didn’t have change to buy food to feed the goats (though we remedied that later), but instantly cheered up when he remembered the barn with the slides. I loved being able to let him play and not having to rush. While he went down the slides over and over again, Evie wandered around checking out the geese, ducks, and rabbits. She’s really starting to love being outside and it was fun watching her explore.

After that, we walked a bit more and decided to stop for some lunch. The kids played at a toddler sized playground for a bit, then we did some more walking, checked out even more animals, until finally we stopped at the BIG playground and let the kids play until they were completely worn out and it was looking like we were going to get rained on.

Just before we left, Zach yelled out, “This is the BEST. DAY. EVER!!!” I couldn’t have agreed with him more. The weather was perfect. The kids were extremely well behaved. We all had a really great time together. It was relaxing and exhausting all at the same time. It was perfect.

And, to top it all off, we stopped at Target on the way home for a few things and just happened to find a toy that Zach had been promised over a month ago (that we hadn’t been able to find in stock anywhere). He was over the moon excited.

I just wish we could have days like that every day.

Comments closed

Sometimes I Forget How Small He Still Is

Published by dee on May 11, 2009

Mornings have been a struggle lately. We go back and forth with this, but lately it seems to be much harder than usual. Zach just doesn’t like to get up. Once he’s up, he doesn’t like to get dressed. Once he’s dressed, he doesn’t want to leave. When we finally make it to day care, he doesn’t want to get out of the car. I always get some resistance from him, but today was really hard.

This morning it took nearly 30 minutes just to get him out of bed. Evie was being clingy so I only had one hand to work with, and couldn’t do much but pester him to get up. Once he was finally up and we went through the whole getting dressed process he told me he didn’t want to go to day care. We had our usual talk about how he has to go to day care so Mommy and Daddy can work, etc. but he still wasn’t budging. Finally the real issue came out.

“K told me he doesn’t want to play with me any more,” he says with the saddest face I’ve ever seen. “He says I’m not a nice friend and he won’t play with me.”

My heart totally sank.

I heard a little of this going on the week before but dismissed it thinking it would all blow over but apparently it stuck with him. My mama bear instincts wanted to just sweep him up, give him a big hug, and tell him it would all be all right (and to tell K that he was a big meanie). But, my parenting instincts told me that this was a teaching moment and I needed to find just the right words to teach him how to deal with people that hurt his feelings.

Gah.

I did give him a big hug and raced through what I should say in my head. I explained to him that sometimes even your friends will say things that hurt your feelings. Sometimes they are just mad and don’t really mean it, but sometimes they do it because you have done something that hurt their feelings first. I suggested to him that if K does this again, maybe he could just go play with someone else for a while until K is ready to play with him again. We talked a little about how he needed to make sure he was being a nice friend as well so his friends would want to play with him. And of course, if they can’t solve it themselves then he can always ask a grown-up to help. I want him to learn how to deal with things like this on his own, because God knows this won’t be the last conflict that comes along. This is so minor compared to the things he’ll have to deal with in the future.

The hard part is that K is the closest one to Zach’s age at day care. The other kids are quite a bit younger, which is why Zach gravitates toward K most of the time. It is a small home day care, so there aren’t a lot of options. When they’re both happy they have a great time together. But, K plays more violently, obviously watches some more grown-up things on TV, and has the attitude to go with it. Even though he’s just a few months older than Zach, he definitely seems much older and Zach looks up to him in a way. Zach, however, is the kid that wants to play the tough guy but is really quite sensitive underneath. He was totally crushed that K didn’t want to play with him.

I’m guessing that this whole thing was weighing on him all weekend. He had kind of a rough weekend overall and I feel bad that I didn’t pick up on it and ask him what was going on. I just assumed he was being obstinate on purpose. We grow up in this society that tells us that boys are tough and don’t have feelings but seeing my 3-year-old boy so distraught over the snub of a friend brought me back to reality real quick. I’m just as guilty as anybody else of forgetting boys have feelings too (just ask my husband).

Zach is growing up so fast. He’ll be four years old next month. He wants to be so independent. Most days I look at him and I see this big boy that can do nearly anything he puts his mind to. Other days, like today, I look at him and see the tiny little baby I gave birth to and I want to hold in my arms and keep him there forever. That’s the only place I can truly protect him.

Comments closed

Breaking My Own Rules Again

Published by dee on May 4, 2009

Way back before I had kids I went to college. I majored in Psychology and took classes in Child Psychology, Child Development, Family Management (as part of my minor), and the like. I LOVED these classes. In fact, had I tried to get my Master’s in one of these areas instead of Social Work I may have actually finished the degree. After taking all of these classes (not to mention all the bazillion parenting magazines I had read), I had a picture of the ideal parent fixed in my mind. I had all these ideas, thoughts, and plans for how I would parent my own child someday.

Then I had kids.

And all those ideas, thoughts, and plans when down the drain.

I have since remembered what many of my teachers (and other parents) also tried to teach me. Every kid is different. They all develop in their own time. They all have different personalities and different ways of understanding the world. They all have to be dealt with on an individual basis. What works for one doesn’t necessarily work for another one.

Also, there is no such thing as the ideal parent. That would have been helpful to know, say, 3 years and 10 months ago. I think my son could give even the best of parents a run for their money. I spent the longest time trying to figure out just where my “perfect” parenting skills had gone wrong before realizing that parenting just can’t change a child’s personality. You would think all of my classes could have taught me that, huh?

Zach is what some would call a “spirited” child. He’s amazingly bright and has an incredible imagination, but if you say the wrong word or move the wrong way he goes totally ballistic. The hardest part is that you never really know what it is going to be that sets him off. He’s also obsessed with TV.

I’ve tried different methods of dealing with his outbursts without much luck. We’ve tried positive reinforcement, removing him from the situation, yelling, spanking, behavior charts, letting him scream it out, etc. The one thing that always, without a doubt, will calm him is to turn on the TV (assuming you have chosen the correct show for that moment in time). Want him to pick up his toys? Reward him with TV. Want him to eat his dinner? Reward him with TV. Want to get him dressed in the morning? Reward him with TV. Want to see a tantrum? Turn off the TV before his show is done. It drives me crazy but it works.

I’d hate to hear what Supernanny would have to say about this.

Yes, I’ve read the reports about how bad TV is for kids. But, a mother who is insane from screaming and tantrums is most likely bad for the kids too. If TV keeps my sanity intact for a little longer, then by all means I’m going to let the kid watch TV.

That’s one of the reasons why I broke my own rule (no TV in bedrooms or playrooms) last week and finally decided to put a TV (with DVD player only) in the kids’ play room. Daddy (ok, and Mommy) likes the TV too and I’m not really interested in listening to them argue about who gets to watch the TV any more. It’s all about keeping the peace. Zach can now watch his DVD’s pretty much any time he wants to (with obvious exceptions of dinner, bed time, etc.) on his own TV.

So far he has watched exactly one movie on his TV the day we set it up.

He didn’t ask for it even once over the weekend.

Huh.

Comments closed

13 Months

Published by dee on April 27, 2009

Dear Evie,

You turned 13 months old just over a week ago. Your 13 month birthday came and went with little fanfare since it just happened to fall the day after we buried your Great Grandfather “Papop”. Since our last minute trip to Louisiana, I haven’t had any free time to sit down and write your monthly letter so I’m going to try to do this as quickly as possible just so I can have something to look back on years from now.

It seems there is something magical about that 1st birthday. Until the day you turned one you were still my little baby. Now you’re suddenly a big girl – one that walks, and talks, and wants to feed yourself without any help. It’s all going by so fast that I can barely keep up. At your one year wellness check you were 31 1/4 inches tall and weighed 22 lbs 11 oz. It seems that nearly every day you have outgrown another outfit or pair of shoes.

A little over two weeks ago you stopped nursing. We had been weaning gradually, but it didn’t seem you really wanted to let go quite yet of your special time with Mama. You finally went about three days without it, then had a bad night where I sat up with you for over an hour before finally giving in and letting you nurse. After that you never really tried again. Sometimes you stick your hand down the front of my shirt (and if I dare try to remove it you let me know that is not acceptable) which seems to give you some kind of comfort. I’m sure it looks a little odd when we’re out in public, but as long as it is just a transitional thing for you I don’t mind so much. I have to admit I was a little sad yesterday when I packed away my breast pump and supplies for good. I miss it because it was our special uninteruppted time together, but at the same time I am enjoying seeing you become more independent. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t enjoying having my body to myself again too. The next stop is trying to break you from the bottles. I’m willing to give you some time on that though. The bottles still allow me to get some snuggle time in.

The only complaint I have (and really it’s only a half complaint because I don’t really mind it so much) is that you have suddenly become extremely clingy. I’m not sure if it is related to the nursing situation or just a developmental thing but you want Mama nearly all the time. When you’re in a clingy mood you will not let me put you down at all. On very rare occasions you will allow your Daddy to hold you for short periods of time, but then it is back to me. You actually cried at day care drop off a couple of times lately, which is very unusual for you because you LOVE day care (most of the time you would rather stay there than go home with me). The trip to Louisiana seemed to make the clinginess even worse. You were pretty much attached to my hip the entire time. You did eventually warm up to Granny and Papa and would get down in the floor to go play but if anyone else tried to talk to you you would latch back on to me and hide your face. That right there is part of your Mama’s personality and I really hope you are able to outgrow it because when you’re an adult you aren’t allowed to do that anymore.

You are talking more and more (when we’re at home and you aren’t being shy) and I just love listening to you. It is obvious that you are putting meaning into the words you say now instead of just repeating sounds. Just in the last couple of weeks you have started using “yes” (which is usually with a quick nod) and “no” (though it sounds more like “nah”) when I ask you a question. Sometimes you even shake your head and say “nah, nah, nah” when you get caught doing something you know you aren’t supposed to be doing. It’s so cute it makes me laugh even when I’m trying to scold you. You also say “up” when you want to be picked up or want up in your high chair to eat. Last week when I was trying to get your brother up in the morning, you patted him and said “up, up, up” until he uncovered his head and looked at you. You also say “down” when I’m holding you sometimes because you just want to be on the floor where you can play.

You are getting better and better at walking. You really want to be able to run and keep up with the big kids, but you still stumble now and then. I have noticed in the last few days that you have been able to stand yourself back up without holding on to anything though. Before long I imagine you and your brother will be racing each other through the house and I’ll be yelling at you to slow down just as I do to him.

As each month passes, I watch you and your brother get closer and closer. I love standing outside the door in the morning listening to the two of you giggle and talk together before I come in to get you up. You are starting to play together more and even though you steal his toys and frustrate him, Zach loves playing with you. I see signs of that protective big brother coming out in him and it makes me so proud. Even though he doesn’t like to admit it all the time, his actions show just how much he loves you. And that huge grin you get on your face when he talks to you? It shows just how much you love him too. It makes my heart dance with joy. I know there will come a time when the two of you fight like cats and dogs so I’m trying to soak up every ounce of love I can get now.

I am just so very proud of you and all the things you are learning. I love watching your personality develop as you get to be more independent. Even though you look more and more like your dad as you get older, you seem to get your personality more from me. It’s almost like looking into a little tiny mirror some days, which is both amazing and terrifying.

I love you with all of my heart.

Love always,
Mama

Comments closed

A Long Week

Published by dee on April 23, 2009

Last Tuesday, April 14, 2009, we got the call that Hubby’s grandfather had passed away. It didn’t really come as a surprise as his health had been failing for quite a while. While death is never a happy occasion, I have to say that I’m very glad that he is no longer suffering and has moved on to a better place.

I didn’t know Papop very well, but I’ll never forget the way he welcomed me with open arms when we were first introduced. He always made me feel welcome and loved both in his home and his family. Papop could build anything. He nearly doubled the size of his house with all the additions he made. He was well known in the community and even added an office onto his home (with an outdoor entrance) for his Notary services. He was also a very proud Veteran who served his country.

With heavy hearts Hubby and I loaded up the car on Wednesday for the long drive to Louisiana. The trip took a little longer than expected, but after a few hiccups, we arrived in Kaplan Thursday afternoon just in time to change clothes and head to the funeral home for visitation.

The funeral service was Friday, complete with a military salute. It was a nice service, although I missed quite a bit of it because I had to take Evie out when she started getting noisy. Tears were shed and love was shared.

The most difficult part for me was trying to explain to Zach what was going on. While he seemed to understand, he kept asking me when Papop would “get his life back”. The concept of forever is apparently still hard for him to grasp. I’m guessing it will take a while for it all to sink in.

Hubby and I decided to stay through the weekend and spend some time with the family that we rarely get to see. This was indeed the best part of the trip. We really enjoyed getting to visit with everyone and especially enjoyed getting to meet our 3-month-old niece, Maggie. Zach and Evie got to play with all of their cousins on that side of the family and they thoroughly enjoyed it.

The downside of the trip was that we discovered we were in dire need for new tires and ended up having to purchase them while we were there. We had to buy two and will have to replace the other two (along with fixing the air conditioner) before our next trip planned in June.

All in all the trip was bittersweet. We loved getting to spend time with our family, but sad that another member of it was gone.

We got home Monday night at midnight, unloaded the car and went straight to bed. There is so much to catch up on after being gone for nearly a week. I have yet to even unpack our bags. My house is a disaster. I’m behind at work. I still haven’t caught up on sleep. Oh, and Evie is suddenly super clingy which doesn’t help with the whole catching up thing.

One thing I have been reminded of this week though, is to be thankful for everything I have. I have a wonderful husband, two amazing kids, family that is always willing to help out when I need it, and loving in-laws that I wouldn’t trade for the world. In the big scheme of things, that’s all a person really needs.

p.s. I’m way behind on posting over there, but have a great giveaway going on over on my reviews page!

Comments closed