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Category: Letters to Evie

3 Months

Dear Evie,

Today you are three months old. Even though it has been three months, I still wake up in the morning and just want to look at your beautiful face. It is almost as if I need to check and make sure you are still there, that I didn’t dream up your existence.

You have changed so much over the last month. I forget exactly when you should be reaching all of those baby milestones, but I almost think it is better this way. When your brother was a baby, I knew exactly when each little thing should be happening and was always watching for them. With you, I am much more relaxed. Since I don’t remember when they should be happening, I get a little surprise with each new thing you do. I’m so proud of each little accomplishment.


One of the things you definitely figured out this month is how to smile. When you first wake up in the morning, you are so happy. All I have to do is say “Good morning!” to you and you flash back a huge smile. You also smile at me when I lay you in your crib for a diaper or clothing change. We’ve had some very in depth conversations during those times. I tell you all about the world and you coo back at me. You always seem to know just the right thing to say to make me smile too.

Over the last week or so, you have become much more interested in your toys. You’ve been reaching your arms out for a while, but just last night I saw you actually grab a toy with your hand and hold onto it. I tried getting you to repeat it, but you just weren’t interested. You seem to like to do things on your terms, not on mine. I have a feeling that’s a lesson I’m going to have to learn over and over again.

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You also seem to be putting yourself on a bit of a sleeping schedule and for that I’m very grateful. You still don’t sleep through the night, but you fall asleep pretty solidly around 9:00 every night and I actually get an hour or two of kid-free time in the evenings. It’s not that I don’t want to spend that time with you (sometimes I just sit and hold you anyway), but some things (like folding laundry) are just hard to do while holding a baby. Once you are out for the night you still wake up every 2-3 hours to nurse, but you go right back to sleep once your belly is full and sleep until about 7:30 in the morning.

All that night time nursing must be doing you some good because you are still growing like crazy. We don’t have an official weigh-in this month, but according to the home scales you are nearly 16 pounds already. I haven’t measured your height, but judging from how your clothes are fitting, I’m sure you’ve gained a couple of inches as well. You are wearing 3-6 and even some 6-9 month clothes. You are keeping right up with where your brother was at your age and have almost caught up to your cousin Caitlin who is 3 months older than you.

Big Girl

Speaking of your brother, he is getting much more interested in you. He loves to “help” you play with your toys while I am changing you in the mornings. Yesterday he even asked if you could lay in his bed and play with him. I put you down on his bed for a few minutes while I finished gathering the things we needed for the day. When I came back, you had one of his cars tucked under your arm. He told me that you wanted to hold it and I’m sure he was right. You seem to really enjoy his company and even reserve some of your biggest smiles for your big brother.

Baby girl, even though I complain because you are growing up so fast, I still can’t wait to watch you grow up. I can’t wait to watch you play with your brother and cousins. I can’t wait to teach you things, like how to fix your hair, how to shop for bargains, and how to compete with all those men in the world. I can’t wait to see the woman you will become some day. You have a seriousness about you that reminds me so much of myself. It seems crazy to think about this early in your life, but I see it in your eyes. I hope that it drives you in life and never holds you back.

Happy Girl

Evie, I am so thankful that you came into my life. I think God knew that I needed you and placed you in my womb when the time was right. I hope I never forget to thank Him for the joy that you and Zach have brought into my life. I love you more than you will ever know.

Love always,


The Sound of a Broken Heart

Dear Evie,

Yesterday was your 2-month check-up with the doctor. You got weighed and measured (13 lbs, 15 oz. and 24 1/2 inches long) and all that good stuff. The doctor checked you out and told me how perfect you were. Then the nurse came back in to give you all of your immunizations.

One of the immunizations was oral and you didn’t mind it so much. You sucked it right down. Then came the needles. Four of them right in a row. Two in each of your chunky little thighs. Baby girl, you screamed such an awful scream that my heart broke in half. Never could I have imagined such a sound coming from my beautiful girl. I am so very sorry for making you go through that. Oh, and you didn’t let me forget it all night either. You finally crashed out about 12:30 last night, but you cried off and on all evening.

I guess it hit me harder because your brother didn’t train me very well. He was (and is) a tough little guy and barely even whimpered when he had to get shots. I still felt really bad for him because he would get a bit cranky afterwards and his legs would be sore for a couple days, but I never had to hear the scream like you let out.

If it was up to me, I would just sit and hold you for the next few days until you are feeling all better. Unfortunately I can’t do that because I have other things to take care of too. Just know that Mommy told the nurse to give you those shots so that you won’t have to suffer through some terrible illnesses. The last thing in the world I want to do is hurt you in any way. It may be hard to believe, but I truly did it out of love. I hope some day you will be able to forgive me.



Two Months

Dear Evie,

When I was a young girl dreaming of my future family I always knew I wanted both a boy and a girl. Just as I hoped, the boy came first. You see I always wished that I had a big brother when I was growing up, so that’s what I wanted for my daughter as well. When I found out you were coming along I hoped and prayed that you would be a girl, the last puzzle piece to complete the family that I always dreamed of. And now here you are – my perfect baby girl – and I couldn’t be happier.

Sleeping Beauty - 1

You are two months old already and I still have yet to find the time to write about your birth. Your birth was much easier on me than your brother’s and for that I thank you. I’m sure the details of the day will soon start to fade, but I know I’ll never forget the moment when I first saw your face. You looked so much like Zachary, but softer and curvier, just as a girl should be.

I’m not yet sure whether it is fortunate or unfortunate that you seem to have inherited the same stocky build as the rest of your family. You weighed in at 11 pounds at your one month check-up and now, at two months, you are at least 14 pounds. You have your brother’s wide shoulders (which you’ll appreciate some day) and the most adorable little chubby thighs. I absolutely cannot get enough of those thighs.

Sleeping Beauty - 3

I try not to compare you to your brother, but it is so hard when I notice such strong differences. While he was smiling and carrying on at about 5 weeks, you always seem to have such a serious look on your face. It has only been within the last week or so that you have started flashing around that gorgeous toothless grin. I already see a so much of myself in your personality. I’m not sure whether to apologize for that or to take pride in it. You are already so intent and focused on the world around you. You like to watch and just take everything in. Only when you are ready will you interact.

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I’ve been trying to make sure that your Daddy gets a chance to hold you every now and then. I miss you so much when I’m at work that it is really hard to put you down when I get home. A few days ago Daddy was holding you and I walked in the room to talk to him. As soon as you heard my voice you turned your head trying to find me. Once you got your eyes locked on me you didn’t look away. When I walked away your eyes followed me across the room and then you promptly started crying. I know Daddy didn’t like that much, but I have to admit it felt pretty good to me.

Sometimes when you are fussy I’ll hold you up in a sitting position on my knees. You are getting so strong that you can nearly hold yourself up. When I talk to you, you coo back at me and look directly into my eyes. I’m amazed at how much of a connection I feel with you already. When you tire of sitting and I hold you to my chest, you snuggle your little face into the crook of my neck and it is as if the rest of the world disappears. There in that moment there is nothing but perfection.

Take My Hand, I'll Lead The Way

I wish I was a better writer so I could perfectly craft the words to tell you just how much you mean to me. My heart nearly explodes with love each time I look at your beautiful face or when you turn to give me one of your slobbery baby kisses. I never knew I was capable of such love. To love two children so wholly and completely is more than I could ever ask for. You and your brother make me feel like the luckiest mom in the world.

Love always,

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