I’m feeling off. Not really depressed. Certainly not happy. Just off. I’ve tried to keep up with things lately, but it’s not working. Something is not right. I am not right. Little things make me feel good for a short time, but then the dark cloud re-surfaces. I have no patience for other people. I just want to be alone with my thoughts.
I know that most of these feelings come from the fact that I am very unhappy with my job and somewhat unhappy with my marriage right now. I tried to talk to hubby about some of my ideas that would allow me to work from home and he pretty much just laughed it off. He doesn’t encourage me. He doesn’t believe that I can do it. It terrifies me to even think about quitting my job, but it would be so beneficial for our family. I wish he could see it the way I do.
At times like this I am so thankful that I have Zach. He is what keeps me going. He gives me purpose. He makes me feel needed. I worry that if hubby and I don’t get things worked out soon that it will end up hurting Zach and I don’t want that. I am trying, but I’m not sure if I’m succeeding yet.