Trying To Move On

If there is one thing I have learned in the last 2 weeks, it is that when you are hurting words of encouragement from friends and loved ones can help to ease the burden on your heart.  In the days preceding and following my brother-in-law’s funeral so many people offered kind words and thoughts to our family.  I tried to stay strong for my husband, his brother, their parents, and my sister-in-law and help them to work through the grief they were facing.  I tried to be as encouraging and loving as I possibly could for them.  Of course I was grieving also, but I like to think that my strength helped to hold them up at a time when they really needed the support.

When we returned home Friday afternoon I felt numb.  I was exhausted from the week and I guess things were finally starting to sink in a little bit.  Over the weekend I had a really hard time getting my mind off of what had happened.  Even on Monday, the reality of the situation still hadn’t completely sunk in.  As the week goes on, I think each day I am processing a little bit more.

I don’t really know if you ever completely recover from a heartache such as I have experienced.  A good friend helped me to realize that even though it pains us that he is gone, regardless of the circumstances, it was his time to go.  I am sure that somewhere, somehow, something good will come out of his death and we will most likely never know what that is.

I am finally starting to feel like I am ready to move on.  My life needs to return to some kind of normalcy.  Hubby and I have started getting back to our regular routine.  There is a closeness between us now that has been missing for quite some time.  This experience has really pulled us together.  Our love for each other and for Zach is fiercer than ever before. 

I am feeling like writing again.  The last couple of posts felt forced.  I felt like I needed to write, but it was hard to get the words out.  This post has flowed quite easily.  I have been reminded once again of how strong the blogging community is.  Even though I don’t have a huge amount of readers, those that do read regularly know me.  Your comments this week have helped to comfort and encourage me in so many ways.  I may not have replied to all of them, but every single comment was appreciated.