A couple of weeks ago I made the decision to start Weight Watchers again. I have never cancelled my online membership, but have let it slip from my mind over the last 6 months or so. In the meantime, I have also gained back somewhere in the range of 10-15 pounds but I don’t know the exact number because I don’t want to see it on the scale. I do know that my clothes are getting a little too uncomfortably tight. So, in order to prepare myself for my November 1st start date (the same date I started last time) I have been stuffing my face with every food item I come into contact with. Yes, I do realize how stupid this is. The thing is, I have been trying to cut back but then I see something I want to eat and I figure I can’t have it after November 1st so I go ahead and eat it whether I am hungry or not. I’m guessing this is where the last 5 or so pounds came from. Either that, or it was my mother-in-law’s cooking that I’ve been eating for the last month. Either way, I’m not happy with myself. I have to lose this excess weight. I want to feel better. I want to look better. I want to wear clothes that fit instead of the big baggy ones I tend to wear when I feel fat. I want to find my confidence again. I need to change the way I eat. I need to change the way I live. I have to make these permanent changes. I don’t want to do the yo-yo dieting for the rest of my life. I need to have a healthy relationship with food. I need to use a little self-control. I need to get the idea out of my head that food will make me feel better.
Now, if I can just make it past Halloween and all the gobs of gooey chocolate that will surely be spilling out of Zach’s Trick-or-Treat bag I’ll be doing good.