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Category: Life

2 kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and 1 husband – life isn’t perfect, but it is what we make it

Does Milk Chocolate Count As A Serving of Milk?

So, as I mentioned a couple weeks ago, I’m back to counting point values for everything that I eat.  Weight Watchers Online is my new best friend – my new best friend that I just so happen to hate.  Maybe hate is too strong of a word.  It isn’t that I hate it.  Weight Watchers is the only diet I have ever been able to stick to in my life.  I just hate that I need it.  I hate that I can’t regulate what I eat without it.

Since I am breastfeeding, I get a lot of extra points but even with them, my first week didn’t go so well.  I did good for the first four days, then I caved.  I was SO hungry.  I ate a sensible dinner Thursday night, but we were at my mom’s house and I just couldn’t stop eating.  Then the weekend was so busy that I just didn’t have time to think about counting points and guessed at what I was eating.  Plus, I had to eat birthday cake and ice cream at Zach’s birthday party.

Despite my bad eating the second half of the week, I did still manage to lose 4 pounds.  I don’t feel it, but that’s what the scales say so I suppose I should be happy about it.  I think part of the problem is that I just have so far to go this time and I can’t seem to get the hunger under control.  It is hard to believe that I can stick to my new eating plan when I feel so hungry all of the time.

So far this week is going okay, but I’ve already dipped into my “extra” points for the week.  I’m trying really hard to get the cravings under control but it is still hard.  I don’t remember being as hungry when I was breastfeeding Zachary, but with Evie it seems like I can never eat enough.  I guess at the very least I know that I’m making (somewhat) healthier food choices.

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Can you have a hangover from too much fun?

One Big Happy Family

We had an insanely busy weekend. I think it may take all week to recover from it, but it was so worth it. I want to write about all of it, but it will have to wait until I have a little more time (and maybe have slept a bit more). Hopefully later this week I’ll get a chance to write, but until then, here are some of the highlights:

  • Running into an old friend while grocery shopping
  • Finding out that old friend knows another old friend of mine and will hopefully pass my number along to her
  • Zach’s 3rd birthday party
  • Our last Sunday at church (we’ll be looking for a new one soon)
  • The free concert we went to Sunday night
  • The 10 million awesome photos I took of my kids and my niece/nephews
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3 Months

Dear Evie,

Today you are three months old. Even though it has been three months, I still wake up in the morning and just want to look at your beautiful face. It is almost as if I need to check and make sure you are still there, that I didn’t dream up your existence.

You have changed so much over the last month. I forget exactly when you should be reaching all of those baby milestones, but I almost think it is better this way. When your brother was a baby, I knew exactly when each little thing should be happening and was always watching for them. With you, I am much more relaxed. Since I don’t remember when they should be happening, I get a little surprise with each new thing you do. I’m so proud of each little accomplishment.

Evie

One of the things you definitely figured out this month is how to smile. When you first wake up in the morning, you are so happy. All I have to do is say “Good morning!” to you and you flash back a huge smile. You also smile at me when I lay you in your crib for a diaper or clothing change. We’ve had some very in depth conversations during those times. I tell you all about the world and you coo back at me. You always seem to know just the right thing to say to make me smile too.

Over the last week or so, you have become much more interested in your toys. You’ve been reaching your arms out for a while, but just last night I saw you actually grab a toy with your hand and hold onto it. I tried getting you to repeat it, but you just weren’t interested. You seem to like to do things on your terms, not on mine. I have a feeling that’s a lesson I’m going to have to learn over and over again.

jun_08 222

You also seem to be putting yourself on a bit of a sleeping schedule and for that I’m very grateful. You still don’t sleep through the night, but you fall asleep pretty solidly around 9:00 every night and I actually get an hour or two of kid-free time in the evenings. It’s not that I don’t want to spend that time with you (sometimes I just sit and hold you anyway), but some things (like folding laundry) are just hard to do while holding a baby. Once you are out for the night you still wake up every 2-3 hours to nurse, but you go right back to sleep once your belly is full and sleep until about 7:30 in the morning.

All that night time nursing must be doing you some good because you are still growing like crazy. We don’t have an official weigh-in this month, but according to the home scales you are nearly 16 pounds already. I haven’t measured your height, but judging from how your clothes are fitting, I’m sure you’ve gained a couple of inches as well. You are wearing 3-6 and even some 6-9 month clothes. You are keeping right up with where your brother was at your age and have almost caught up to your cousin Caitlin who is 3 months older than you.

Big Girl

Speaking of your brother, he is getting much more interested in you. He loves to “help” you play with your toys while I am changing you in the mornings. Yesterday he even asked if you could lay in his bed and play with him. I put you down on his bed for a few minutes while I finished gathering the things we needed for the day. When I came back, you had one of his cars tucked under your arm. He told me that you wanted to hold it and I’m sure he was right. You seem to really enjoy his company and even reserve some of your biggest smiles for your big brother.

Baby girl, even though I complain because you are growing up so fast, I still can’t wait to watch you grow up. I can’t wait to watch you play with your brother and cousins. I can’t wait to teach you things, like how to fix your hair, how to shop for bargains, and how to compete with all those men in the world. I can’t wait to see the woman you will become some day. You have a seriousness about you that reminds me so much of myself. It seems crazy to think about this early in your life, but I see it in your eyes. I hope that it drives you in life and never holds you back.

Happy Girl

Evie, I am so thankful that you came into my life. I think God knew that I needed you and placed you in my womb when the time was right. I hope I never forget to thank Him for the joy that you and Zach have brought into my life. I love you more than you will ever know.

Love always,
Mama

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We Didn't Even Have To Use The Straight Jackets

This…

The Grandkids

…was my biggest accomplishment of the weekend. It took nearly a week of planning, but we managed to get all 6 grandkids together, dressed, and posed for a picture. They may not be smiling, but at least they were all looking at the camera! We’ve been wanting to do this for a while and decided that Father’s Day was a great reason to finally get it done. It helped that I had already scheduled our family portraits to be done anyway so the rest of the kids just came and joined us.

Family

The photographer at was great with the kids. He had them all the little ones laughing and smiling. Zach really loved him and was totally hamming it up for the camera.

Siblings

The photos were all so good that I had a really hard time choosing which ones to buy. Here are a few more of the kids but you can see all of my favorite shots over on Flickr.

Snuggle

Zach

Composite
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The Time Is Now

I’m FAT.

F-A-T

Yes, I know I just had a baby. That’s no excuse. The baby weight? It is gone. I dropped nearly 30 pounds within a week of giving birth. The rest of the weight that I’m now carrying around is just plain fat. It is all of the sugary drinks, peanut butter M&M’s, pizza, cheeseburgers, french fries, ice cream, and fried chicken sandwiches that I’ve been stuffing in my face for the last 11 months because hey, “I’m eating for two!”

Don’t you know eating for two doesn’t stop once you have the baby? Well, not if you’re breastfeeding anyway. I have this insatiable hunger that just will not go away. It started in the last month of my pregnancy and has not let up. I can think of three times since Evie was born that I’ve actually felt full (or slightly over-full). The amount of food that I consume on a daily basis is really quite disgusting.

I know it is time to cut back, but it is so hard when I am just so hungry all the time. Yet, every time I look in the mirror I feel shame because I worked so hard to lose all of the weight that I am now carrying again. I hate myself for every bite I take yet I just can’t stop. I tell myself it is for the baby, but is it really? Or is it just the one way I have of gratifying myself when it seems like everything else is so out of control?

It really hit me a couple weeks ago when I was complaining to a friend about my hair. She commented that she really likes my hair better when it is short. My reply was that I do too, just not when my face is so fat. In that moment I realized that every time I gain weight, I start growing my hair out – like somehow I can hide my fat body with the hair on my head. When I was younger I related to “Cousin Itt” because I could easily hide my entire face by simply pushing my hair forward a bit. If only it were that easy.

I’ve hidden behind my massive head of hair for the majority of my life. Only when I’ve felt confident in myself have I had the guts to cut it short and those times usually correspond to weight loss. I’m not saying I want to cut my hair off again. I just want to feel that freedom and confidence that I’ve felt during those times and I’ve suddenly realized that it has nothing at all to do with my hair and everything to do with my weight.

I’m getting tired of hiding, of feeling so self-conscious that I don’t want to go out or even change clothes in front of my husband. It is time to get off my butt and do something about it. It is time for Weight Watchers again and this time I really want to stick it out and hit my goal weight. It is going to take a lot of work but I know if I could do it once, I can do it again.

Oh, and if anybody wants to buy me a Wii Fit, that would help too.

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Confessions: The Scout Signs Taunt Me

Over the last couple of years, Kansas City has developed the Scout system for traffic.  Basically, it consists of huge overhead signs along the highway that tell you when there are major accidents, road closings, etc.  When there are no accidents or other important messages being broadcast, it gives you a time estimate for the next couple of major exits.  I’m sure they have similar systems in other cities, but this is the one I know.  I’ve been pretty impressed with it since it started up.  It even makes the drive home a little more entertaining sometimes.

For instance, when I’m driving home, I often see on the sign “470/71 10 min” or “State Line 4 min”.  It is a nice service in a way because it helps you gauge what traffic is like and how long it is going to take you to get home.  But, for people like me with a competitive nature, it becomes more of a challenge.  When I see that it is going to take me 4 minutes to hit the State Line exit, I want to make it in 3 minutes, just to prove the sign wrong.  If it says it will take me 10 minutes to 470/71, I want to make it in 8.  When I do actually beat the sign (which is most of the time) I’m actually proud of myself.  I feel like I’ve accomplished something.

The only thing I really hate about the Scout signs is when they say things like “470/71 40 min.”  Then I might as well just sink down into my seat and crank up the music because I’m going to be sitting still for a while.

Surely I can’t be the only one that feels this way.  Do the Scout signs taunt you too or do you just sit back and take them for what they are?

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