So you guys know by now that when I promise to write you might as well just look away and come back in a couple months, right? As my OB told me to yesterday, I’m letting go of the things that take too much effort. Writing shouldn’t take that much effort, but when you are completely sleep deprived and can barely stay awake past 8:00 p.m., writing becomes difficult. And yes, I know that this is just the beginning of the sleep deprivation. Right now, I’m blaming it on stuffy sinuses that aren’t allowing me to breathe and the fact that I’m not supposed to be sleeping on my back. I never realized just how much I slept on my back until I started waking up during the night realizing that I was on my back when I started out on my side. But! I did get some sleep last night! In fact, the last two nights I have mostly slept through the night and my head (although still a little sleepy) is much clearer than it has been lately so I’m taking advantage of it and spewing out some words.
Want to hear more about my pregnancy? I thought so. I’m just going to be totally honest here and say that this third pregnancy has by far been the hardest one I have experienced. I really have tried not to complain (because complaining about such a blessing seems like the wrong thing to do) but I can tell you with absolute certainty that this body will not be carrying any more babies. Ever. I remember being extremely uncomfortable with the the other two pregnancies in the last couple of months, but this one has been uncomfortable from the beginning. Now that I’m in the home stretch? I can barely walk across the room without being in pretty serious pain. If I didn’t know better, from the amount of pelvic pressure, I would think this guy was making his appearance within the next few days. And yet, I still have probably at least another four weeks to go.
On top of barely being able to move, I have been way more tired this time around than I remember being in the past. Because of that, I am totally unprepared for this baby to be here. I run out of energy by the time I get the older two kids taken care of and have nothing left for baby prep. I did finally go out and buy a few diapers and essentials, but I haven’t even managed to wash one baby blanket or onesie yet. The crib is piled with baby things that I’ve gathered as I ran across them in the house, but I have yet to sort through the tubs of baby stuff sitting in my basement. Somewhere in all of that is a stash of baby blankets, burp rags, bottles, an infant bath tub, and all the other baby things I couldn’t part with “just in case” there was another one. I am so thankful that I saved all of that now, even if it is taking up way too much of my basement. Every night I think I need to start sorting through that stuff, and every night I end up falling asleep in my chair before I can even make an attempt. At the very least, I need to get a few little outfits washed up for him. As long as I have diapers, wipes, and a few clean clothing items to put on him, the rest can wait, right?
I also had every intention of documenting this pregnancy better. I bought a new journal and started out writing at least once a week in it. Of course that didn’t last long at all. I also planned to take better belly photos this time around seeing as I actually know how to use a camera now. I had all these ideas for fun photo projects. And yet, almost every photo I have taken has been on my iphone. I had grand plans of doing a fancy self photo shoot at about 32-33 weeks and, well, that didn’t happen either. I did set up the tripod earlier this week and let Evie snap a few. She thought that was lots of fun. Then I put it on the self-timer and got a few fuzzy pics of the two of us together. The one posted above is about the best one. Oh well, at least the other two kids won’t feel like they got the shaft when it comes to preggo pictures!
I love reading about your pregnancy! You could write a post a day about how uncomfortable you are and I’d still be here in the comments cheering you on. And you want to know why? It’s because I know you’re a great Mom and this baby is going to be loved. Hell ya it’s tough now. We’re older. Our kids are bigger. But, Dee, just wait…it’s going to be magical when he comes out.
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