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Tag: occupational therapy

Answers Only Lead To More Questions

Tuesday morning was our first meeting with Zach’s Occupational Therapist. I don’t know why I felt so nervous about this appointment, but I was. I was so anxious that even with a stop at McDonald’s for breakfast, we ended up being there 30 minutes early. I should note that I’m rarely ever early for anything, especially on a weekday morning.

Thankfully, Zach brought his DSi to keep him busy while we waited. The waiting room was very nice, decorated to entertain the kids. We didn’t end up waiting very long before they called us back. The OT had Zach start on an activity where he searched for small items stuck in a blob of putty. While he worked on that, she asked me questions. We went through all the basic questions, with her stopping for more details when necessary. As we talked, she went through some more activities with Zach. He got a little antsy at a couple of points, though he didn’t get too out of hand.

When she finished her questions, we finally got to the part I wanted to hear. Everything that I have been stressing about over the last several months was confirmed. Zachary definitely has some sensory integration/sensory processing problems. Most of his issues stem from the auditory and proprioceptive areas. She explained what this all means. Some of it I understand, some I don’t. I suppose that will come with time.

We left with a bunch of handouts to read, including some more book suggestions, activities to try at home and at school, and information specifically on proprioception. We have an appointment to go back on the 15th of February, where she will do some more specific activities (heavy work, etc.) with Zach to see what works the best for him. She said that the benefits of certain activities can last up to 8 hours after the activity. Again, I’m anxious to go back and see how this all works.

I still have mixed feelings about all of this.  In a way, it feels good to be validated, to know that I’m on the right track and that we’re finally getting somewhere. Yet, I also feel very overwhelmed. There is so much to learn still. We’ll need to make changes to our routine. We’ll need to incorporate more activities and breaks for Zach into our already busy schedule. There will be a lot of trying and failing before we figure out what really works for him and what doesn’t.

We’ll get there, this I’m sure of. There is just a long winding road to make our way through first.

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Tomorrow

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This morning was a hard morning. This will hopefully be our first full week back to school and back to our routine since Zach got out for Winter Break on Dec. 20th. Between snow days, holidays, sick days, and a couple of doctor’s appointments, our schedule has been all out of whack. Both kids had a hard time getting up and around this morning, as I suspected they would.  What I did not expect was for Zach to cling to me when I dropped him off at school.  He’s been doing really well with drop-off time since we made arrangements for him to go to the quiet room instead of the noisy gym for his before/after school program.  Today, however, his regular staff person was with another group and he wouldn’t even go in the room.

I suppose it shouldn’t have surprised me though. The last two days at home have been difficult as well, with several meltdowns of varying degree.  Part of that I blame on myself as I was too busy working on my own things to spend the time I should have with him. When he is so good at entertaining himself, I sometimes forget that he needs a little extra attention. Too much down time, not enough physical activity.

Tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. we finally meet with an Occupational Therapist to go through a full sensory evaluation with Zachary. I’m feeling very anxious. I’ve read through all the paperwork and yet I still don’t know exactly what to expect. I am ready (and hoping) to get some answers. The answers are only the beginning of a long road we have ahead of us.

On the forms I had to fill out, one of the questions asked what three things I wanted to get from this evaluation.  I can’t even remember what I wrote down. What I really want is for someone to say, “This is what’s wrong with your son. This is how you fix it.” I know better than to expect that, but it is truly what I want. I’m tired of trying to figure it out on my own. I want fast, concrete answers.  And more than anything, I want someone to just tell me what to do.

I’m still reading through The Out-of-Sync Child, and trying to make sense of it all. I can’t keep all of the terms straight in my head, but I have had many, many, “a-ha” moments. I wish I could read it faster, but I’ve never been one to read non-fiction of any sort in a timely manner. I wish there was an easier way to get the information to sink into my head. In over two months, I don’t think I’ve made it even halfway through the book.

Answers. I want answers. I may have a little too high of expectations for tomorrow. I’m afraid that, once again, I’ll leave feeling defeated and not knowing any more than I do today. I want someone to tell me that I’m not crazy, that there is something to all of this sensory stuff, that there is a way to help my son not feel so out-of-sorts all the time, and mostly, that I am not a bad parent for not being able to deal with it.

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