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2015 Is Here

We are four days into the new year, and today, more than ever I am reminded of how quickly the time passes by. Last night I had on my comfy, well-worn Garth Brooks hoodie. The one I bought at the concert we attended here in KC years ago…in 2007. I only know it was 2007 because the year is front and center on the hoodie, along with the words “Kansas City” and “I was there!”

As I got myself ready for bed last night, I stared at that ’07 in the mirror, somewhat in disbelief that so many years have passed since that night. The details came flooding back in an instant. The frustration that my babysitter backed out on me at the last minute, relief in finding a friend that was willing to watch Zach when our original plans fell through. I remember singing all of the old familiar songs, side by side with my sister, just as we had done when we were younger. I remember feeling Evie move in my tummy for the first time that night, as I felt the beat of the music vibrate under my feet. I remember the lights, the joy in finally seeing an artist I had admired for so long right in front of me.

How could it be that that night happened over seven years ago? As hard as it is to believe, I know it is true, because that little baby wiggling in my tummy that night is now nearly seven years old. So much time has passed, yet it feels like only yesterday.

Those few moments I spent reminiscing sent me into a spiral of deep thoughts (I’m not sure when the last time I actually had a deep though was, so it needs to be recorded somewhere). I suppose it is the time of year when everyone, voluntarily or not, does a bit of evaluation on their life. A “What have I done in the last year?” kind of thing. For me, because I was suddenly rushed back to 2007, I started thinking, “What have I done in the last 7 years that really mattered?” And, well, the list was much shorter than I would have liked for it to be. There are so many things I wish I would have done, missed opportunities to do good in the world that I passed up or just completely missed because I was too busy living in my own little world.

I’m reading a book called “Love Does” by Bob Goff, which has me thinking a lot about why I say yes or no when the opportunity to do something good comes up. The easy answer is no. It takes little effort. It allows for selfishness and laziness, which are two things I struggle with all the time. But why not say “yes” and see where it leads? Why not give a little more of myself to do good for others? What good can any of us do without action? After all, Love Does.

In 2015 there are so many things I want to do – personal goals, fitness, business, parenting, financial. More than I can possibly accomplish in a year when I add in all of the other responsibilities that stand before my “wants”. I have a list that could go on for miles, but the reality of time is that very little of it will actually happen. When 2015 comes to a close, what I want the most is to be able to say that I added something good to the world, that I did something that made a difference in someone else’s life and changed it for the better. I want to know that I did at least a tiny little thing to make the world a better place.

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Welcome, 2013!

My snow bunnies!

So it is a brand new year. 2012 was wonderful in many ways, but also, one of the most difficult of my life. Caleb joined our family early in the year and threw a bit of a wrench into our routines (and our bank account). I pretty much feel like I’ve been running non-stop since February. We all adore him, it has just been…busy.

2013 will bring a lot of changes to our household. For starters, my full-time job will become part-time next month. It is scary, as my pay will also decrease accordingly, but I’m also looking forward to being home with the kids more. I plan to focus more on my photography and work on building up my portrait business. If I can’t make it work in the next few months, I’ll be seeking a new full-time job, but I really want to give it a shot and see where I can get. In the meantime, if anyone has any odd jobs they need done (that they want to pay me for), let me know!

Fortunately, Hubby’s job is still in tact and going well. He’s busier than he would like to be, but the overtime pay will help us out a little. Our church band, that he has been playing in for the last 3 years or so, pretty much dissolved over the last few months, so he has some free time anyway. If anyone needs a bass guitar player, he’s looking for someone to play with.

Zach was tested for and accepted into his school district’s gifted enrichment program last semester. He gets to start the program next week and is super excited about it. He’ll be sent to another building one day a week and will get to participate in some really fun learning activities there. I am just praying that the extra challenge will excite him and not frustrate him. They also roped me into signing up for the school’s PTSA, so I now have another obligation to fulfill.

Evie is loving preschool and can not wait to start Kindergarten next year. She has been a big challenge parenting-wise this last year and I’m really hoping that she will benefit from being home in the afternoons when my job goes part-time. She’ll be going to preschool in the mornings and then will be home with me in the afternoons. Hopefully, having some quiet time with mom while Caleb naps will give her a bit of what she’s been missing. Being the middle child is hard. With a demanding baby brother always needing my attention, and a big brother who often needs help with homework, she tends to get left out.

Caleb is growing so fast and becoming more independent. He is a very determined child and wants to be free to roam all over the house. Unfortunately, that doesn’t work out so well when he wants to put every tiny thing he sees into his mouth. He is so very close to taking his first steps, and I’m hoping once he starts walking that all of the tiny pieces of fuzz on the carpet won’t be so enticing. While I am a little sad to see him growing up so fast, I’m also looking forward to being out of the baby stages. I really can’t wait for toddlerhood this time around. Assuming he will finally start sleeping through the night again, this next year with him is going to be so much fun.

I’m both excited and a little nervous about all the changes coming for our family. I’ve never really been one to make (or stick to) resolutions, but I do have a few goals for this year that I would like to see through. First, and foremost, I plan to get Caleb sleeping through the night again (preferably in his own bed). If I can make that happen, I feel like everything else will fall into place. It is amazing what a full night’s sleep can do for your motivation! I also want to start running again (which can happen once Caleb starts sleeping), and get my house cleaned out and in order (so. much. junk. taking. over.).

Besides the personal goals, I have some big-time goals with my photography business. I’m kind of at a place where I feel like it is now or never. I need to push myself out of my comfort zone and really give it a go. If I fail, then it is time to move on.

Bring it, 2013!

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6 Days In

Well, so far I feel like I’m kicking 2011’s butt.  I honestly can say I have no complaints yet this year.  So what if we’re only 6 days into it?  I’m feeling very good – energized even – about what is to come this year.

I really have to give a little bit of credit to my in-laws though, because if it weren’t for their visit during the last couple weeks of December, I would probably be as frazzled as I normally am in the new year.  It was such a joy to have them here over Christmas, and they were incredibly helpful with the kids.  Not only did they agree to take Zach to swimming lessons over his school break (which he LOVED!), but by keeping the kids at home, they knocked over an hour and a half of commute time off of my work day.  It was so nice not to have to rush in the mornings, and to actually get home at 5:00.

Maybe it is because I actually got some sleep for a change, or maybe just because we are finally getting back into our routine, but my head feels clearer than it has in a long time and I’m making plans.  I’m so excited about the decisions I’m making and can’t wait to see them unfold.  Some of these are smaller things, like finally making the decision to commit to Weight Watchers again, and others are big, major, life-changing things that I’m not quite ready to spill just yet.  I realize that some of it may fizzle out as time goes on and I decide which are the most important, but for now I’m just going with the excitement.

The first thing I’m focusing on is taking care of myself.  I re-joined Weight Watchers on Monday and am really going to try to stick with it this time.  I weighed myself this morning and am already down 3.5 pounds since I started.  I know I always drop a few pounds quickly at first, but it still felt really good to see that number on the scale!

Thanks to some very gentle prodding from Cagey, I also registered for my first 5K of the year (feel free to follow that link if you’d like to help sponsor me!).  Having a goal really helps motivate me to exercise, so I plan to do at least two 5K’s this year and I’ll have one of them knocked out by the end of January.

Taking care of myself also includes taking care of the craziness in my head, so I am journaling for the first time in years.  It really helps to clear my head, even if it is something as simple as writing down my to-do list for the day.  I hope to get better at this as time goes by.  I’ve already missed a day or two, but since it is my journal, I guess that doesn’t matter that much.

I also want to make a concerted effort to rekindle some friendships and maybe make some new ones.  Even though I’m on facebook and have re-connected with a lot of friends there, I don’t feel like I have many true friendships, mostly just acquaintances.  I know it is pretty much my fault because I hate picking up the phone.  Plus, actually getting out of the house takes some major scheduling and effort so I just don’t do it.  It is time to change that.  I need to get out every once in a while, even if it is just to meet up for an hour and gab.

I also miss my little online community that I used to be part of, so my Twitter account is public again and I want to start engaging more.  I may not have much to say, but I’m going to try to jump in a little more often.  I needed a break for a while and now I’m ready to roll again.  What can I say, I miss the over-sharing!  Besides, because I was on Twitter this morning, I’ve already signed up for my first 5K of the year and will be spending that time with a friend! Double score!

The biggest challenge I have set for myself though, is to improve my photography skills.  I’m learning a little bit all the time, but I want to get to the point where I’m getting the results I want at least 99% of the time.  I want to think through my photos, plan out what I want, and capture what I see in my head.  I have a long way to go to get to that point, but I’m going to have fun getting there!  To keep myself moving forward, I started a new 365 project.  I’ve always been afraid to do it before, but this time I’m not putting any limitations on it (unlike my failed 365 gratitude project).  One photo a day of anything that strikes me.  It may be artistic or it may not; it all depends on the mood I’m in that day.  It may be shot with my iPhone, my crappy point-n-shoot, or my DSLR, whatever I happen to have in my hands.  No limitations.  I’ve made it 5 days so far and I’m already patting myself on the back.

2011, I think I may love you.  Let’s keep this good relationship going for the next 359 days, okay?

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The 2011 and Beyond Plan

This year there are no resolutions, no goals, no deadlines.  This year there is a plan, but I’m calling it the 2011 and Beyond Plan.  There is a beginning, because everything has to start somewhere, but there is no end.  This plan is a life-changing, adapting as time goes by, kind of plan.  Because, after all, I know myself and I never, ever, ever stick to goals, resolutions, or any of that New Year’s mumbo jumbo.  Mostly, these are just simple things that I want to do more of (things that I should have been doing all along), plus a few new things that I think will bring a nice balance to my life.  There are a few goalish sounding things included, but they are there just as reminders of things I would like to accomplish in time.

  • Education & Skills
    • Take more artistic, meaningful, thought out photos – In other words, have a purpose – don’t just click, click, click
    • Educate myself more about natural lighting, color management, and editing photos
    • Research requirements of owning/operating a small business
    • Take an advanced photography class
  • Body
    • Develop healthier eating habits – more fruits and veggies, less pizza and cheeseburgers
    • Start running again – I stopped due to laziness and a foot problem, but I’m ready to rock it again!
    • Get more sleep (this may be unattainable, but I need to try)
    • Run Race for the Cure and at least one other 5K every year
  • Mind
    • Journal
    • Read more books, read less online
    • Be a better friend – pick up the phone more often, make plans to get together and actually do it
    • Learn to say NO when I simply don’t want to do something or don’t have the time to do it – stop over committing
  • Family & Household
    • Be more patient with my children (and husband)
    • Focus on spending quality time with the kids and husband (no iphone, computer, tv)
    • Learn to create and stick to a budget – I have failed at this so many times, but really need to do it.
    • DE-CLUTTER my house – I may have to call in a professional on this one!
    • Print photos and put in albums or make photo books
  • Professional
    • Get paid to do something I love doing
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Peace

2010 has started out much differently than I expected.  If you take a look at my Twitter bio, it says “Trying to de-clutter and slow life down in 2009.”  I wrote that in January of last year because that truly was my one goal of the year (guess I need to update that!).  Life just seemed to be moving so fast that I couldn’t keep up.  I made a little progress on the de-cluttering, but life?  It did not slow down one bit.  I suppose it never does.

December of 2009 was a mad rush.  I’m amazed that I made it through without any catastrophes.  My life was pure chaos for about 4 weeks straight.  But when the calendar flipped to January 2010, I suddenly felt a peace wash over me.  The craziness of December had ended and we made it through.

Life, in general, is changing for me.  I feel good things coming this year.  I don’t know what all of it entails, but I have hope that I will make it out of this rut I’ve been in.  I’m making some personal changes that I think will have a big long-term impact.  My kids are getting older and their needs and demands are changing.  We have finally found a new church and it seems to be filling my soul in places I didn’t realize needed filling.  Our financial situation looks like it will be improving towards the Fall as my car will be paid off (finally!) and Zach will no longer be in day care.  My head is so full of ideas and things I want to pursue, including a big change in this site which may or may not happen.

2010 is looking like it’s going to be a great year.  I may change my tune in a couple of months, but right now things are looking up!

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Weekend Goals

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I’ve always been a list maker. If I don’t write it down, I’m most likely going to forget it. All week long I’ve been thinking of things I want to do this weekend since we’re having a rare weekend at home (with no plans!). Since I don’t want to forget, I decided I better get it out of my head and onto paper. Of course, it also does double duty of letting my Hubby know what my plans are for the weekend. Now, can you guess which items on the list are my priorities???

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