You know what I miss? The good old days of blogging before my life was crazy and chaotic. I’d sit down either in the evening or the beginning of the day and just write. It didn’t have to be anything important – just a few sentences here and there about what was on my mind. I didn’t know or care about page views or SEO. I had a handful of friends that read and commented and it didn’t matter because it was fun. I posted about the most mundane things that now I would only post on twitter or facebook.
These days I feel like most of what I have to say isn’t worthy of a blog post. There is no way I have the time to sit and type out my thoughts when I can barely even find the time to think them in the first place. So instead, I post a quick thought on Facebook (or Twitter if I’m really feeling the need for interaction). Most of those posts only go up because I have my iphone handy. My laptop sits dusty on the shelf at home. It was once my constant companion. Now it gets cracked open maybe once a week or so, sometimes less often than that.
Many of my old blog friends have stopped writing too. Their blogs sit stagnant. I miss their words. I miss the connections. I miss the conversations. I keep up with a few of them on facebook. I watch as their lives change, their babies grow older, and updates become fewer. I miss these friends, who were there for me when I shared the news of my first pregnancy, when I was going through difficult times, when I wanted to celebrate, when I “came out” and made my blog public. They were my community, my support, when I felt like I had no one else to turn to.
Times change. Lives change. I sit and look at my family, my three kids – when at one time I wasn’t sure I would be able to have children. The story of my life belongs in a completely different book now. My world revolves around those three amazing little people. I snap photos because I want to remember every second, every little smile, every giggle, but there is no time to write. I wish I could write it all down to read when I am older and my mind is losing the details, but life is moving too fast right now. I’m too busy living it.
This isn’t meant to be a good-bye post. I’m not closing up shop. Just something that has been on my mind the last few days.
(Since I’m not writing, I have added my Instagram feed to the blog to fill in some gaps. If it gets annoying to the few of you who are still reading, let me know.)