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Tag: behavior

Bullying in Kindergarten


One month in the public school system and I’m ready to bring my babies home, lock the doors for good, and home school them until they’re 25.  Please note that it has nothing to do with the teaching.  I do believe that my son has an excellent teacher, probably the best that I could ask for.  He’s excited to learn.  It amazes me how much he has picked up on over the last four weeks.

He was flipping through a book last night  as I was putting laundry away, pointed to a word and said, “Mommy, that says ‘me’!”  Indeed it did.  He was so pleased with himself, and so was I.  He is a smart kid and so willing and ready to learn.

I knew kindergarten would be hard.  I knew there would be adjustments to make.  I knew he would be tired and that he most likely would come home with a new sassy attitude that he would pick up from his peers.  I was somewhat prepared for that.

What I wasn’t prepared for was him getting picked on.  I wasn’t prepared for my little bitty 5-year-old to come home telling me that a kid pushed him down and his foot was hurting because of it, or that another kid tried to push his head into the toilet, or that a kid was pushing him every time they got in line, or that another kid “spanked” him in the restroom.  I especially wasn’t prepared for him to tell me that he was the one that got in trouble for it all because the other kid ran ahead and told the teacher that Zachary did it first.

I can’t say that Zachary wasn’t at fault.  I would be almost certain that he’s not telling 100% of the truth because he’s afraid he’ll be in trouble at home too.  I know he has pushed back, hit, and even on one occasion bit another kid, but I’m guessing that most of the time it was provoked.  He’s not an aggressive kid and most of the time tends to shy away from confrontation.

Yes, I’ve talked to the teacher.  Notes have been sent home.  E-mails have been exchanged.  I’m currently waiting on her to get back to me regarding a meeting time so we can discuss this whole thing again.  I’m willing to do anything to get this to stop.

I’ve discussed it as much as possible with Zach, but he shuts down when I bring it up.  He doesn’t want to talk about it for long.  I remind him as I drop him off every day to be nice to the other kids, to tell the teacher if someone does something to him, and not to hit or push back if someone does something to him.

After missing recess yesterday (because he got caught hitting back the kid who “spanked” him) he spent nearly the entire evening in tears.  Every little thing just set him off again.

I’ve spent most of the day today trying to hold back my own tears.  For the last three weeks I have felt like there is a huge brick laying on my chest that I can’t shake off.  I certainly can’t keep him out of school, but I just want to grab him up and run as far away as possible.  I hate that I can’t protect him from all of this.  I hate that I can’t just fix it.


Supernanny, Where Are You?

What do you do with a child when you’ve tried everything you can think of and they still misbehave? We’ve been having a horrible time with Zach lately and nothing I do seems to help. He always seems to be testing to see just how far we’ll let him go and then pushes a little farther.

The hard part is that he can go from an angelic child, laughing and playing one second to a smart-mouthed little monster the next. He’s generally fine until we ask him to do something or tell him “no” for some reason. Then we hit total meltdown mode.

We’ve tried just gently talking to him, time outs, grounding him from TV, taking toys away, and even spanking (which I hate to do) and nothing seems to work. I just don’t know what to do with him anymore.

Every little task is a struggle. Something as simple as asking him to take a bath or brush his teeth is a major struggle. Getting him to go to bed can take anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour, sometimes more. Even just getting him out of the car to go to daycare in the mornings becomes a fight. I hate it. I end up having to leave with him crying and it breaks my heart.

Last weekend during Evie’s birthday party he started screaming and throwing a tantrum while we sang Happy Birthday to his sister because we started before he was ready. I’m sure here was some jealousy going on, but it is always like that. Eveything always has to be his way.

He’s 3 years old and wants to control everything. I know this. He’s pushing the boundaries and trying to figure out how the world works. But how do I teach him to have more respect for adults and not argue back? How do I teach him to follow directions without having a total meltdown? And how do I do all of this while keeping my sanity?

I need Supernanny!

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