I’m not quite sure where to even begin. I have so many thoughts racing through my head. I’m pregnant. Every time I say those words in my head I want to let out a little squeal. I still can barely believe it. Just last month I visited my OB/Gyn because it had been just over a year since we started trying for another baby. She put me back on Glucophage to help with my PCOS and here I am pregnant a month later. I have no idea if that’s what did it or if God just decided the timing was finally right. Either way, I am beyond thrilled. I really didn’t expect it to happen quite yet.
When I can find a spare moment when I’m not squealing from joy, the reality of the situation hits me. We definitely want another child, but when I think about having to actually take care of a newborn and an almost 3-year-old I get a little scared. I know when the time comes I will handle it just fine, but right now I’m not so sure. Zach can be such a challenge sometimes. I’m just hoping that by then we will have worked out some of the power struggles that seem to be happening now. Plus, he should be fully potty-trained by then so I won’t have to have two kids in diapers.
The really scary part is the financial responsibility. Babies are expensive and we’re struggling now. Somehow, things will work out. I know this. But it is definitely scary to think about how we will pay for day care. The other costs are minimal. We’re used to buying diapers and we won’t have to worry about extra food for a while, but day care is going to kill us. We may end up selling everything we own, but as I said, somehow we will manage.
For now, I want to put all of those thoughts in the back of my mind and just enjoy the fact that I’m going to have a new little baby to cuddle and love. I’m sure Zach doesn’t quite get the reality of the whole baby thing yet, but for now he’s excited. I don’t think he’ll be as excited when the baby actually arrives and he realizes that his whole world is getting turned upside down.
It’s still very early in the pregnancy. By my calculations, I’m only about 4 weeks along and should have a due date around March 30, 2008. According to the BabyCenter bulletin I got in my inbox yesterday, the baby’s organs should start forming sometime in the next week or so and it’s heart will start beating. Even though I’ve been through it once before, I am still so amazed at how the human body creates new life.