Now that I’ve learned the basics of my camera (though there is still LOTS more to learn), I’m trying to challenge myself more. One way I’m doing this is through my 365 project, but I also decided to join in Willette’s “The Joy of Love” class for the month of February. Each day there is a photo assignment to complete. Today’s topic was “How they look” which was just way too easy. As soon as I pulled my camera out, Evie started making faces at me. I love this face so much!
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A great man passed away today. Other than my family, he was probably one of the first people to meet me after I was born. Since my dad was attending SMU, my family lived just outside of Dallas, far away from family and friends. Clyde and his wife, Vivian, took us in and became close to our family, close enough that my sister and I have always referred to them as our “adopted grandparents.”
Although we moved away before I was old enough to really know them, we continued to visit at least once a year. They were a huge part of my childhood. We loved our visits to Texas simply for the fact that we got to see Vivian and Clyde. I have so many great memories of helping Clyde feed the animals out on the farm, riding on “our” pony, sitting in the back bedroom of their house with my sister listening to Tiffany and Tommy Page tapes, sitting on the swing out in the yard in the evenings, running around Vivian’s office while she worked, being fascinated by their “old-style” refrigerator, drinking out of aluminum cups that made everything seem so much colder, and so much more.
The last time I saw them was a few months after my daughter was born in August of 2008. Walking into their house felt like taking a trip back in time. Very little had changed. Everything was exactly where I remembered it being, down to the powder container on Vivian’s dressing table. It was strange, yet comforting.
I sat there watching Clyde hold my baby girl, just as he had done with me thirty years before, knowing that it very well may be the last time I would ever see him. His health had been going downhill for quite a while and he really wasn’t expected to make it much longer.
A few days ago we found out that Clyde was on around-the-clock hospice care. This morning we got the news that he was gone. I’m sad that I wasn’t able to make another trip down to visit, though I’m incredibly grateful that I was able to make that last trip and that he got to meet my children.
I won’t be able to make it down for the funeral, as much as I would like to go. I want to be there to hug Vivian. I want a chance to say that final good-bye. Since I can’t be there to do it in person, I’ll leave it here and hope that he knows just how much he was loved.
Comments closedTuesday morning was our first meeting with Zach’s Occupational Therapist. I don’t know why I felt so nervous about this appointment, but I was. I was so anxious that even with a stop at McDonald’s for breakfast, we ended up being there 30 minutes early. I should note that I’m rarely ever early for anything, especially on a weekday morning.
Thankfully, Zach brought his DSi to keep him busy while we waited. The waiting room was very nice, decorated to entertain the kids. We didn’t end up waiting very long before they called us back. The OT had Zach start on an activity where he searched for small items stuck in a blob of putty. While he worked on that, she asked me questions. We went through all the basic questions, with her stopping for more details when necessary. As we talked, she went through some more activities with Zach. He got a little antsy at a couple of points, though he didn’t get too out of hand.
When she finished her questions, we finally got to the part I wanted to hear. Everything that I have been stressing about over the last several months was confirmed. Zachary definitely has some sensory integration/sensory processing problems. Most of his issues stem from the auditory and proprioceptive areas. She explained what this all means. Some of it I understand, some I don’t. I suppose that will come with time.
We left with a bunch of handouts to read, including some more book suggestions, activities to try at home and at school, and information specifically on proprioception. We have an appointment to go back on the 15th of February, where she will do some more specific activities (heavy work, etc.) with Zach to see what works the best for him. She said that the benefits of certain activities can last up to 8 hours after the activity. Again, I’m anxious to go back and see how this all works.
I still have mixed feelings about all of this. In a way, it feels good to be validated, to know that I’m on the right track and that we’re finally getting somewhere. Yet, I also feel very overwhelmed. There is so much to learn still. We’ll need to make changes to our routine. We’ll need to incorporate more activities and breaks for Zach into our already busy schedule. There will be a lot of trying and failing before we figure out what really works for him and what doesn’t.
We’ll get there, this I’m sure of. There is just a long winding road to make our way through first.
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This morning was a hard morning. This will hopefully be our first full week back to school and back to our routine since Zach got out for Winter Break on Dec. 20th. Between snow days, holidays, sick days, and a couple of doctor’s appointments, our schedule has been all out of whack. Both kids had a hard time getting up and around this morning, as I suspected they would. What I did not expect was for Zach to cling to me when I dropped him off at school. He’s been doing really well with drop-off time since we made arrangements for him to go to the quiet room instead of the noisy gym for his before/after school program. Today, however, his regular staff person was with another group and he wouldn’t even go in the room.
I suppose it shouldn’t have surprised me though. The last two days at home have been difficult as well, with several meltdowns of varying degree. Part of that I blame on myself as I was too busy working on my own things to spend the time I should have with him. When he is so good at entertaining himself, I sometimes forget that he needs a little extra attention. Too much down time, not enough physical activity.
Tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. we finally meet with an Occupational Therapist to go through a full sensory evaluation with Zachary. I’m feeling very anxious. I’ve read through all the paperwork and yet I still don’t know exactly what to expect. I am ready (and hoping) to get some answers. The answers are only the beginning of a long road we have ahead of us.
On the forms I had to fill out, one of the questions asked what three things I wanted to get from this evaluation. I can’t even remember what I wrote down. What I really want is for someone to say, “This is what’s wrong with your son. This is how you fix it.” I know better than to expect that, but it is truly what I want. I’m tired of trying to figure it out on my own. I want fast, concrete answers. And more than anything, I want someone to just tell me what to do.
I’m still reading through The Out-of-Sync Child, and trying to make sense of it all. I can’t keep all of the terms straight in my head, but I have had many, many, “a-ha” moments. I wish I could read it faster, but I’ve never been one to read non-fiction of any sort in a timely manner. I wish there was an easier way to get the information to sink into my head. In over two months, I don’t think I’ve made it even halfway through the book.
Answers. I want answers. I may have a little too high of expectations for tomorrow. I’m afraid that, once again, I’ll leave feeling defeated and not knowing any more than I do today. I want someone to tell me that I’m not crazy, that there is something to all of this sensory stuff, that there is a way to help my son not feel so out-of-sorts all the time, and mostly, that I am not a bad parent for not being able to deal with it.
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It’s time for another iheartfaces photo challenge and this week the theme is winter wonderland. Please stop by and check out the other entries!
So, here’s something new. I don’t usually do this, but I’m just in a funky mood today (and maybe want to push that last post down on the page) so here’s what I’m calling a “Friday Music Fun” post. I have no idea if there will ever be another one or not, but it seems like a good idea today.
I discovered the band Rabbit! a while back after downloading the Do Fun Stuff cd for the kids (okay, for me). They are not at all what I would normally listen to, but their music is just so fun. I click them on and my mood is instantly lifted. I want to get up and dance, although I’m pretty sure people would look at me funny if I did that in the office.
This morning, I was in a funk and being rather moody. I clicked a link and found a link to Connect The Dots
I’m going to share a couple of videos of them so you can see for yourself just how fun and quirky they are. Do yourself a favor and give them a listen!
Oh, and if you are my husband, don’t bother listening because you’ll just make fun of my music choices. 😉
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